Strollerderby

Babble Talk: Tackling Race

Posted by Jen Chaney

The past few days in America have been extraordinary, intense and record-setting, and not just in terms of the number of people who cast votes. I am pretty sure we collectively set a new world record for the number of times the sentence, "I never thought I'd see this in my life time," has been uttered in a one-week period.

All of us have undoubtedly participated in conversations about the historic nature of Barack Obama's election as President, as well as discussions about whether we should be placing so much emphasis on his "blackness." Not surprisingly, Obama's presidency is sparking new dialogue about race, dialogue that will undoubtedly continue, in heated fits and illuminating starts, over the next four years.

Which brings us to our kids, and this week's "Bad Parent" essay, written by Erin Blakely and entitled "Baby Bigot." In the piece, Erin expresses concern about whether her toddler might be prejudiced after what she refers to as "the Laurence Fishburne incident": the time her little boy saw the esteemed "Matrix" star in a New York restaurant, pointed at him and shouted, "Doggie!" She subsequently noticed that he only referred to African-Americans as "doggies," something that worried her and also forced her to do some soul-searching to determine whether she and her husband really embrace diversity as much as they like to think they do.

It sounds like Erin is still working through those issues, as so many of us are. I haven't quite experienced a Fisburne episode yet, but -- to bring this all back to the election -- one of the first high-profile people my son successfully identified was Barack Obama. He could have been helped by the fact that, as this super-awesome video demonstrates, Obama is a really easy name for babies and kids to say. I am sure it didn't hurt that on a couple of occasions, my husband and I pointed to images of Obama and told our son who he was.

But I got that ugly Fishburne-esque wake-up call a couple of times when my son saw other African-American males on television, pointed and said, "Obama." Geez, I thought, does he really think all black people look the same? That can't be, I told myself. He goes to daycare with students and teachers of virtually every variety of race and creed. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't think Obama is one of them.

Ultimately, I concluded that he's not even two and is still figuring things out. When he sees vague similarities between people and items, he tends to refer to them using words he knows, then waits for one of us to correct him. This explains why he often refers to any thirty-something-ish woman he sees in a book or on TV as "Mommy" -- regardless of her skin color, hair style or general demeanor --or why he thinks that any elongated object is a "tenn-y racket." (Actually, that might just be because he likes to hit crap.)

The key phrase, though, is that he waits for one of us to correct him. Which means as parents, we always have to be there, steering him on the right path. Like Erin, I strive to encourage him to treat all people equally, without regard to their skin color. I strive to make him a warm-hearted, open-minded young man. That process starts now, but the hard work will come when he gets older. The touch challenges will arise when he really begins to understand that there are differences between people and that, sometimes, those differences bring out the ugliest sides of human nature.

In the meantime, I take some comfort in the positive signs I see. Like this one: A few weeks ago, my son walked into our house and spotted a penny on the floor. He picked it up, the head-side gleaming in his hand. He looked down at the copper profile of Abraham Lincoln, then he looked at me and -- completely unprompted -- said, "Obama." A few days later, he did the same thing with a quarter: Took one peek at a silvery George Washington and declared, "Obama."

For some reason, he saw those founding fathers and perceived them as being the same as the presidential hopeful from Chicago. One could see that as a sign that he looked at something beyond race. It's a nice thought, and maybe it's true. But I didn't even think about race at the time. All I thought was, "Wow, that kid knows a president when he sees one."

Related Links:

Obama's Friday Schedule: Tackle Global Economic Crisis, Parent-Teacher Meetings

Bringing Some Color to Capitol Hill

Balancing Work and Parenting—When You're the First Lady

How to Keep Your Kid From Pissing off The McCain Supporters

 

 

 

 

 

Image: Daly & Newton/Getty Via Babble.com


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About Jen Chaney

Jen Chaney is the movies editor and a DVD columnist for washingtonpost.com. Her byline has appeared in The Washington Post, People magazine, USA Today and the Utne Reader as well as various other newspapers around the country. She is the mother of a one-year-old boy, who has not yet learned the word Xanadu. But he will. Trust us, he will.

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