For most of these, we'll assume that you are speaking to your significant other, unless otherwise indicated.
- “Can I get a squirt of that?” The answer is no. If you're desperately curious about the taste of breast milk, try some that the mother of your children has expressed into a bottle.
- Two words that should never go together: “Tittie milk.” Not funny. Trust me.
- “How far can you squirt that stuff? Can you hit this cup on the shelf? How about if I move it closer? Honey? What are you doing with that hammer? OW!”
- “You and the baby are being really loud. Can you do that someplace else? I'm watching TV.”
And here are a few things not to say to a woman you don't know if you see nursing in a public place:
- “Ew! Gross!”
- “Niiice.”
- "Hey baby. Get it? Hey... baby...?" (It's not funny. I know you think its funny. But it's not.)
- A blank stare.
- A lascivious stare.
- Any sort of stare at all.
Anything to add? Remember – it takes a village.
image: Flickr
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About Brett Singer
Brett Singer is a writer and father living in Manhattan with his wonderful wife and two terrific sons
(referred to here as Thing 1 and Thing 2). He writes about music for the Boston Phoenix, parenting for Babble and daddytips.com, and other topics for anyone else who will have him.
