Strollerderby

Say Hi To Grandma Through the Screen

Posted by JeanneSager

My three-year-old likes to show her grandparents her nursery school projects. Too bad they're in Virginia, and we're in New York. Seeing a construction paper elephant is a tough job when you're looking through a phone line. We're still working on that.

But if an article in yesterday's New York Times is any indication, there may soon be a nation of toddlers who never have to use adjectives to tell Grandma about their new artistic creations. Grandma and Grandpa have gone digital so they can keep up with their grandkids living half a world away. 

With half of American grandparents living at least two hundred miles from their grandchildren (according to the AARP) and two-thirds of kids seeing at least one set of grandparents only once a year, Web cams are stepping into the void to make sure kids feel that family connection. Some parents even use on-screen Grandma as a remote babysitter, setting their kids up in front of the computer to chat while they get some work done around the house. 

With my in laws living so far away, their biggest fear seems to be that my daughter will forget them. They once handed me a picture of them - so she doesn't forget us, they said. We make sure that doesn't happen with weekly phone calls, and we bring them up in regular conversation. She runs to them when they arrive just as quickly as she does my parents, who live across town and talk to her on the phone even more often (what can I say, my side of the family tends to have bigger mouths!). We haven't purchased a Web cam yet, but it is a temptation. My in-laws will want to see the first loose tooth, the First Communion dress. A photographer by trade, I take pictures of these things, but I don't always have the energy to actually get them online and e-mailed four states away. 

One expert quoted in the article said she worries grandparents will get too hooked on what technology offers; that they'll be tempted to visit less because they've already "seen" the grandkids. I kind of doubt it. The kind of grandparent who would power up their computer just to get a look at that cute little monkey is the kind of grandparent who would be there in a heartbeat . . . if they could. 

A kid bouncing around in front of a camera has nothing on a kid wrapping their arms around you. 

Image: New York Times

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Comments

 

anonymous said:

We've been doing webcam calls to my in-laws ever since they moved to the other coast four years ago- my husband picked up all the gear for Christmas- and they have come to visit ONCE since then, preferring to spend their 3-5 vacations a year on places "closer to home." They're not feeble, only one is AARP-aged, and they have plenty of money. We're just not that interesting to them.

At least with the webcam, my kids haven't picked up on the fact that my in-laws could hardly care less about them.

November 28, 2008 3:18 PM
 

Stoakland said:

sorry to hear about anonymous's experience -- but if they really couldn't care less, why would they even bother with the webcam?  

for us, it's been great, pretty much like the poster guessed.  grandparents talk 1 or 2 times per week with the baby, who's far too young to actually talk.  but they love seeing him coo and kick!  i highly recommend skype.com.

November 30, 2008 5:04 PM
 

nmsuarez said:

We love skype. Living across the country from most of our family and friends, skype allows us the opportunity to "visit" with our loved ones. True, it's not the same as real-life contact, but it's better than phone calls.

My favorite thing about skype is that my 2-year old daughter has become familiar enough with her grandparents (and aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) so that when we do visit them, we don't spend the first day or so in the "getting to know you again" phase, where she is shy and clingy towards my husband and I. When she sees her faraway relatives now, she is almost immediately comfortable in their presence and they get to enjoy one another that much longer.

November 30, 2008 5:18 PM
 

PhxPA said:

We webcam with Grammy and PaPa (my parents) every Sunday afternoon and with Grandma and Grandpa (my in-laws) almost as often.  During a recent visit, my almost 3 year old knew exactly who they all were - no "stranger" anxiety!  She gets to show off her new room, artwork, etc. and the g-parents get their g-daughter "fix".  It's been awesome for our family!

December 4, 2008 10:47 AM

About JeanneSager

Jeanne Sager is a writer who lives in upstate New York with her husband, daughter, a dog and too many cats. She refuses to believe motherhood comes with pumpkin appliqued sweaters, and she';s not ready to apologize for having only one child. She writes about raising her kid in her own hometown and the mom stuff she's not embarrassed to own at her blog, Inside Out (http://jeannesager.blogspot.com), she's contributing editor of Grand Magazine, and she's a regular essayist here on Babble

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