It's no surprise the requirements to be hired on as Santa Claus in Germany are exacting. In Teutonic tradition, the engineering of a German Santa takes stock of the tenor of the voice, the quality of the accent, the background in carols. Are they asking too much?
Apparently, yes. As the European economy falters, there's one employer still searching high and wide for good candidates. Yes, Virginia, in Germany there is a shortage of Santa Clauses.
According to a report in London's Sunday Times, recruitment is off by German Santa placement agencies (yes, they exist) this year in ever section of the country. Compounding the problem is a record number of private parties being thrown by families trying to offset the grim economy with a little holiday cheer. They're trying to book a Santa, and the jolly old man can't make it.
If it sounds silly, check out the paycheck. These Santas - who work the malls as well as the family party circuit, make as much as sixty euros an hour. Using the latest exchange rate, that's about $76 an hour. To smile a lot and be nice to some kids? Sign me up for that gig. Of course, therein lies the paradox. They're good-paying jobs, but they're not handing them out to just anyone. One Berlin-based recruiter told the Times at least ten percent of applicants are turned away because they don't fit the bill.
What does it really take to be a good Santa? They want a low tenor of voice, an extensive repertoire of Christmas songs and poetry, a jollity and spontaneity and a love of children. To top it off, they can't be "too young." Considering some of the mall Santas I've seen here in the states (who'd put the drunk Saint Nick from the parade scene in Miracle on 34th Street to shame), it might behoove American Santa recruiters to take a page out of the German book.
Of course, we might then be struck by the Santa shortage. But wouldn't you rather have too few good Santas than an overabundance of Billy Bobs?
Image: Amazon
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