Welcome to Mustaches for Kids, your chance to run a marathon
for a children’s charity—“without the exertion, cramps, or dehydration.”
Instead of actually running, you
simply have to sit around drinking beer and letting the facial hair directly
above your upper lip grow. Naturally, friends, family, and strangers on the
street will appreciate your sacrifice so much they will be eager to give you
donations for children’s charities such a Make-a-Wish Foundation and New
Orleans Children’s Hospital. And you better get started now: the Growing Season
is from Thanksgiving to Christmas.
If you’re wondering whether this organization is for real,
apparently you’re not alone. The FAQ page of Mustaches for Kids’ Web site is
filled mostly with variations of that same question. But, as outlandish as it
seems, chapters of Mustaches for Kids do exist throughout the U.S., staffed entirely
by volunteers. At the end of the annual growing season, Participants (official
known as “Growers”) have raised more than $150,000 for charity since 1999.
Sorry, no Hitler staches or “Rollie Fingers handlebar.” And you must shave at least once a week. And you should also probably wear a "mustache-enhancing costume" to the annual Mustache Competition. This is no joke, people. We're talking mustaches, kids in needs, and high-stakes meaningless competition. You're gonna need to bring your A game.
Photo: Mustaches for Kids
