Strollerderby

I'm all for a transgendered person's choice to associate and identify with the opposing gender. However, I draw the line at forcing someone else to dress/undress in a locker room with anyone they feel or don't feel comfortable with. It's not that they aren't modern, it's just a way of life.

What a person does in the privacy of a bathroom stall, that's one thing. But an open locker room is another.

I know in my teen years, I was uncomfortable changing in front of anyone. Let alone forcing me to change in front of a boy (regardless of how that person sees themself, if the part's there, I'd consider that person to be a boy!)

There should be some common ground.

And, I'm pretty educated. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to my transgendered friends. So, I don't think it's an education thing. The hormonal teenage years are hard enough for everyone, and no one should be forced to do what they aren't comfortable with, period.

Bravo, San Rafael.  

Treydawgg: as a transperson, I have to say "SCREW YOU."  Stop claiming to be trans-friendly when you still think you get to decide another person's gender based on what kind of genitals they have.

Maybe the problem is lack of privacy in locker rooms.  How about a few curtained changing rooms, so people concerned about being seen can hide out.

We're talking all things romance at the Dr. Romance blog.

Um. No! Sorry but as a woman I will not be changing in a locker room willingly with a stranger who has got a penis. I do not care what gender they "say" they are. It is a safety issue for me and I would not expect children to feel wonderful about the idea as well.

Dr. Romance that is  a wonderful idea.

A safety issue, really?  Do you suppose that being transgendered is catching?

OOO: Play nice. I'm entitled to my opinion. I'm merely saying that forcing someone to dress/undress in a locker room around ANYONE they aren't comfortable with shouldn't be allowed.  

I think that it's unfair to blame kids for being uncomfortable in such a situation. I'd be uncomfortable changing in a locker room with a man who is living as a woman but still has a penis. I may be labelled a "bigot" for such an opinion, but there are many like myself, I'd wager, who have a sense of modesty that goes far deeper than what our brains would tell us. The only biological male I want to see me naked is my husband, regardless as to how that individual sees himself.

Also, the author asked: "Are we going to start separating out the gay kids next because homophobic kids are "uncomfortable" imaging they're being looked at?" Actually, yes, why not? I'd be skeeved out by a lesbian in the locker room checking me out. This is why locker rooms are segregated by sex, right? To avoid sexual discomfort and exploitation (for lack of a better term)? I think that a kids should have the right to feel safe from possible sexual advances when they're changing for gym class.

We should start building third (and fourth and fifth) locker rooms, in my opinion.

Boys don't belong in girls locker rooms. Girls don't belong in boys locker rooms. Why should one gender confused person take over the rights of the majority? Puberty is hard enough, and as a parent I'd have major problems if my school allowed a boy (regardless of if he identifies as a girl or boy) where my daughter is undressing!

I submitted a comment here, and it hasn't shown up -- what's the deal?

Issues such as those in the above post make me relatively sure that we'll be home- or private-schooling. I don't care to give the state control to tell my kids what's right and wrong.

Knitty, really? Of course being trans is not catching. But you must be kidding if you think I am ok with someone who is still physically male, many children have not fully transitioned or had reassignment surgery, dress and undress in the same locker room with my daughter. This to me feels like a safety issue.

OK, wow, let's take a step back and think about this - changing in locker rooms is uncomfortable for every kid. But I don't see how it's "a safety issue" to have transgender or homosexual children changing in the locker room. If a child feels unsafe, he or she can change in the bathroom stall, like many bullied or self-conscious kids did when I went to high school. Furthermore, how likely is it that kids will be completely naked in front of each other? For regular P.E., we usually did not shower (to save time and money) or showered in our bathing suits. I know it was different back when my parent's were in school but much has changed since then.

I honestly think "modesty" has been taken way too far. Believe me, the transgender or homosexual student is WAY more uncomfortable on a moment to moment basis than your child will ever be (unless your child is gay, of course).

Sarah, TX: The article talks about letting transgendered children change behind a curtain within the locker room of their choice, so obviously SOMEONE'S modesty/privacy matters. It isn't fair to say that gender-typical kids are required to expose themselves to trans-kids regardless of their feelings or comfort level, but not vice versa. Either EVERYONE'S feelings matter, and you completely segregate trans-kids, or NO ONE'S feelings matter, and all kids go to the anatomically appropriate locker unless they go under the knife.

I'm not saying that you should be okay with it, TolaniLucia, I'm saying that the "safety" argument is silly.   We're talking about kids here -- kids in an adult-supervised area.  Besides, most schools don't require that kids get completely naked; mine didn't.  You just changed from your shorts to your jeans and off you went.

I was uncomfortable changing in front of my gym teacher. She had big pop eyes and would stare at us. (or so it seemed). maybe she should have been let go for pedophilia. And we did have to get completely naked for swimming classes. that's when she would hang around the locker room the most. so much for adult supervision, when it's the adults that make you feel the most uncomfortable. I would have been in favor of no one having to dress in front of anyone else. mini dressing rooms for everyone!

pro-equality: My point was that kids, even cis-kids are ALREADY changing behind "a modesty curtain" - it's called a bathroom stall, or doing a deck change (my life got so much easier after my dad taught me that maneuver).

There's a certain element of agency here that we're taking away from both trans-kids and cis-kids.

Treydawgg, you're entitled to your opinion and I don't expect you to change it. I'm just asking you to stop claiming that you support transfolks' rights when you turn right around and claim that you're justified in discriminating against them.

You can't have it both ways - if you're uncomfortable with transpeople and feel justified in your discomfort, then you are not an ally. It's as simple as that.

I was very open about my sexuality all through school, and the only time I regretted it was when several girls in my gym class, along with their parents, petitioned the administration to force myself and two other girls to change in the bathroom. Not the locker room bathroom, mind you, but the bathroom down the hall from the gym. I spent the rest of my time there trudging anxiously down a long, busy hall (my gym class coincided with the third lunch period), smelling like all hell and feeling completely alienated from the girls in my class.

I genuinely feel for the poor kids who will be forced to change elsewhere for the sake of someone else's "comfort".  For the first six months of gym class (before we were moved to the bathroom), I never once looked up from the floor, let alone at anyone else in the locker room and half the time I changed in a shower stall due to my own body issues. (I honestly couldn't describe a single aspect of that locker room even today, and I'm only 21. That wasn't long enough ago for me to forget; I was just too preoccupied with getting in and out of my uniform to bother even taking the time to recognize what color the lockers were.)

These kids are experiencing the same, if not more so. They are already struggling with being in the minority along with the joys of a developing body that they may or may not be entirely comfortable with or able to accept as their own. We need to embrace them, not shun them. The uncomfortable child should be the one behind the anonymous curtain if s/he really feels so strongly about it.

I have to say that this article has been bugging me. After having left my various comments I have thought to my self that perhaps we can raise a generation up proper so that they may not care about these differences.  I will try to continue to be open and to educate myself for the sake of my child. As the parent of a one year old, I do not yet know if at some point I may find myself on the other side of my prior arguments. Childhood is hard. And all children have the right to feel wonderful about themselves.

Transgender and transsexual are cultural definitions and cultural constructs. So...you want to continue to build a culture that forces two extremely narrow binaries that there are only two sexes and one gender for each one of those sexes. This leads to the cultural construction of transgendered/transsexual people (i mean this with the most respect possible). Then you want to culturally and politically limit these people within the limits that you have already created?!

How can people be so narrow as to think there is one gender per sex, only two sexes and two genders? If someone "says" they're a different gender than the sex they appear to be, then that is exactly what they are. Only oneself has the right who and what they are and are not, No one else!

The problem lies within our own culture, and within the people who allow and pass down bigoted ways of thought. Before we go segregating Everyone and putting energy into possible ways of doing so, I think we all need to take a step back, look at our culture, how bigoted we all are (even within the LGBT community) and begin a change within ourselves and in American's children and younger peoples.

Transgender and transsexual are cultural definitions and cultural constructs. So...you want to continue to build a culture that forces two extremely narrow binaries that there are only two sexes and one gender for each one of those sexes. This leads to the cultural construction of transgendered/transsexual people (i mean this with the most respect possible). Then you want to culturally and politically limit these people within the limits that you have already created?!

How can people be so narrow as to think there is one gender per sex, only two sexes and two genders? If someone "says" they're a different gender than the sex they appear to be, then that is exactly what they are. Only oneself has the right who and what they are and are not, No one else!

The problem lies within our own culture, and within the people who allow and pass down bigoted ways of thought. Before we go segregating Everyone and putting energy into possible ways of doing so, I think we all need to take a step back, look at our culture, how bigoted we all are (even within the LGBT community) and begin a change within ourselves and in American's children and younger peoples.