Strollerderby

Kids: The World's Best Form of Birth Control

Posted by JeanneSager

You've got to laugh when someone tries convincing a childfree-by-choice non-breeder that parenting is wonderful while her two-year-old runs around her feet screaming. I'd give them half a Popsicle for trying. Yes, parenting is wonderful, but boy our kids do a lot to convince people otherwise.

This week's Babble feature Non-Breeder: A Preschool Teacher's Confession drives home a theory I've always had. Kids make great birth control.

Lauren Johnson loves, loves, loves the adorable tots who take up her business hours, but her home life is her escape. Come on, who hasn't wanted to escape their kids? Come on . . . get the snoot out of the air; it's OK to admit it. When they're chucking banana at you. When they're lying on the floor at Toys R Us, beating their fists on the tile because they neeeeeed a T-Rex with mechanized arms, head and feet at $59.99.

Ask a grandparent which stage of their life they like the best - and I bet you you'll get a dentist-like ratio. Nine out of ten will probably agree, grandparenting rocks. Parenting . . . eh . . . it was good then, but this is better. They can send them home with us.

I've heard people whine that their kid's teacher isn't very understanding; she doesn't even have kids. It's true, kid-free folks very often don't get us. The ones who really don't want kids just plain think we're crazy. Because our kids have convinced them - hell no, I won't go . . . there.

Think your friend has the making of a really great parent but they're still on the fence? A few suggestions:

  1. Don't send your child over there when he's snotty; if tissues are necesary, cancel any interaction between the two parties post haste.
  2. Keep all snack baggies of food well hidden to enhance the chances of a jam hands-free "five."
  3. A napping child is a peaceful child. They always look sweeter when they're asleep.
  4. Don't . . . ever, ever, ever . . . ask them to baby-sit. There should be a parent shield present at all times.


Finally? If they work with kids all day, don't tell them how much different it is when it's their own. I think they can figure that out; it doesn't mean it's going to change their mind. 

Related Posts:

When Your Kid's is the Puny Gift to the Teacher

Booty Caller Texts When You're Ovulating

Husband's Genitals Lit on Fire For Cheating

Nintendo Scrabble Game Drops the F-Bomb

Man Forced to Pay Child Support for Another Man's Child

Bus Driver Spanks 6 Year Old For Not Sitting Down


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About JeanneSager

Jeanne Sager is a writer who lives in upstate New York with her husband, daughter, a dog and too many cats. She refuses to believe motherhood comes with pumpkin appliqued sweaters, and she';s not ready to apologize for having only one child. She writes about raising her kid in her own hometown and the mom stuff she's not embarrassed to own at her blog, Inside Out (http://jeannesager.blogspot.com), she's contributing editor of Grand Magazine, and she's a regular essayist here on Babble

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