If kids from 1907 were around today, they would be sorely disappointed in the lack of technological advancements Santa has made in the last century. The picture to the right is taken from a 1907 children's book, depicting what Santa would look like in 100 years. Screw the rein deer, our predecessors seemed to think. Santa's gonna be powered by a fan. And forget the sleigh; give the old man what Jezebel has not inaccurately termed a "dildo-shaped blimp."
In more inappropriate Santa news, The Guardian asked 10 contemporary artists to "reinvent the image of Father Christmas." The results include bikinis, beer bellies, strangulation, and Barack Obama. To give just one example by the artist Juergen Teller:
Now there's a Santa your kids would probably rather not meet.
Another artist, Rob Smith, included a cautionary tale with his Santa depiction:
"Last year, in the village where I live, I was asked to dress up as
Father Christmas and give presents to the local kids. I was really
flattered. I took the role seriously. I put on what I thought was a
Scandinavian accent. When I asked what one little girl wanted for
Christmas, she burst into tears....She
cried, 'Father Christmas is a Nazi.'"
So the next time you try to impersonate a Scandinavian Santa Claus, make sure your accent is flawless.
Photos: Jezebel, The Guardian
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