Christmas is over. The eight days of Hanukkah are about to wind down. But there's still plenty of time to air some Festivus grievances. So here's one from me, which can be summarized thusly: "Hey, Hallmark. WTF?" 
No, I'm not mad at the good people at Hallmark because I bought one of these $100 snowglobes that sometimes sets things on fire and had to be recalled. (God knows what it does if you actually dare to shake up one of these overpriced snowmen.) No, my issue has to do with the company's greeting cards.
Specifically, why the hell don't they make more cards for Nanas? They always have more than a few Grandma cards, at Christmas and on other occasions. I even found a decent Granny one for the holidays. But the one and only Nana card I located -- after visiting two Hallmark stores and a CVS that carries Hallmark cards -- appeared to have been written by an overly sentimental 45-year-old woman. Which just doesn't work when the Nana card is supposed to be for your mother, from her two-year-old grandson.
Now, it's not that Hallmark doesn't get specific enough with its cards. On the contrary, I spotted a Christmas card for "a son and daughter-in-law expecting their first child." And there's always my favorite extremely targeted card, the one that says "You're like a mother to me..." I have often considered getting one of those for my mom, if only to time how long it would take before her head exploded.
But back to the Nana situation. I have done no formal surveys on this subject, but I bet if I asked 10 people what their kids call their respective grandmothers, Nana would rank pretty high on the list, probably second to Grandma. So what's up, Hallmark? What, I ask you, is up??
And another thing: where were all the son Christmas cards this year? I saw a couple of cards for daughters that were appropriate for children under 10, but not one -- not a single one -- for a little boy. Were they all sold out? Am I rapidly going blind? Or did Hallmark take the "less is more" route that so many corporations are forced to adopt in this economic climate and not make as many cards this year as in years past?
If this keeps up, I may have to do the unthinkable: Make my own cards.
Image: Scarborough Town Center
