Strollerderby

Court Bans Divorced Mom's Partner from Sleeping Over

Posted by JeanneSager

Proving once again that what's good for the gander isn't necessarily going to be allowed by homophobic family court judges for the goose, a divorced mom from Tennessee has been informed she can't allow her lesbian partner to sleep over on the same nights as her kids. 

Her ex-husband, meanwhile, has remarried and his wife sleeps over - well, lives - with him every night. 

Angel Chandler and Joseph Barker have been divorced for ten years, and shared custody of their two kids (now thirteen and fifteen) that whole time. They've both entered new relationships too, Barker remarrying five years ago while Chandler has maintained a monogamous relationship with a woman since 1999. But when they went to court late last year to modify the custody arrangements, the State of Tennessee sent both parents and both kids for psychological work-ups. 

The evaluation determined Chandler's partner was a positive influence on her two kids. The court ignored it. A "paramour" restriction was added to the custody arrangements earlier this year, restricting Chandler's partner from being in their home on the nights when the kids were with Mom. Because after nine years, suddenly a set of teenagers are going to be shocked to find out Mom's a lesbian? 

The women are now living in a duplex, side by side, so they can abide by court rules and still be together - sort of. The ACLU has stepped into the fray, filing a brief this week that urges the court to remove the paramour restriction, calling it unconstitutional for interfering with Chandler's abilities to raise her children as she sees fit. 

If the court really wants to do what's best for the kids, how about allowing two sets of parents to get on with their lives in loving relationships and letting those kids see examples on both sides of happy, committed, successful couples? 

Image: Amazon

Source: ACLU

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Comments

 

JimBWarrior -/- Jim Bailey said:

Good to see the Family Court banning the Sexually Deviant from damaging the impressions of the vunerable - Onward - Jim

December 28, 2008 4:15 PM
 

Ashland Avenue said:

Oh Jim, you warrior you, what would we do without men like you around to show us the proper way to live? Oh yeah. We'd move onward, as in FORWARD.

December 29, 2008 8:47 AM
 

Cass said:

STFU Jim.

December 29, 2008 12:00 PM
 

Couvade said:

I think courts should be able to bar overnight visits by partners of ANY gender/sexuality if it's in the child's best interest.  Most sexual abuse of children is committed by mothers' boyfriends.  But given that the kids in question are teenagers and the courts do not apply these restrictions equally, this is outrageous discrimination.

December 30, 2008 12:18 PM
 

Lillie said:

The court had no business doing that!  If the father is ok with it, and the children, who are old enogh to decide whether or not they want the partner there are ok, then whats the problem?  Courts need to stay out of perfectly fine families and direct attention to the families who really do need help.  As for Jim, well, I strongly suggest that you deal with your issues with gay/lesbian couples.  Their here, and dispite what you think, God love them as much as He loves you.

January 2, 2009 12:14 AM

About JeanneSager

Jeanne Sager is a writer who lives in upstate New York with her husband, daughter, a dog and too many cats. She refuses to believe motherhood comes with pumpkin appliqued sweaters, and she';s not ready to apologize for having only one child. She writes about raising her kid in her own hometown and the mom stuff she's not embarrassed to own at her blog, Inside Out (http://jeannesager.blogspot.com), she's contributing editor of Grand Magazine, and she's a regular essayist here on Babble

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