Strollerderby

Bizarro News: Flaming Squirrel Sets Elementary School on Fire

Posted by Cole Gamble

This is going to be tough for the school to collect insurance on. I severely doubt the school district’s insurance policy includes, “Destruction by Act of Flaming Squirrel.”

 

Firefighters in Jones, Oklahoma say the probable cause for a 5 acre wildfire that triggered the evacuation of an elementary school came from a squirrel exploding into flames due to touching two power lines and then falling into a grassy field.

 

The elementary school children were evacuated to a local high school; none sustained any injuries.

 

Donations for the squirrel's bereaved family will be accepted at your nearest tree.

 

More by this Author:

Anti-Abortion Group Up In Arms Over Krispy Kreme Abortion Donuts

"I Ate Little Black Girls for Two Years"

4 Ways to Be a Better Parent

Barbie’s Creator A Sexual Pervert

Should You Take A Risk on Orgasmic Birth? (Orgasmic Birth Video included)

4 Ways Birth and Breastfeeding Will Ruin Sex

Pete Wentz: "I've Tasted Ashley's Breast Milk."

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)


 

 


+ DIGG + STUMBLE

Comments

 

Anselmo said:

Now that's HOT!!!!!!!!!

January 22, 2009 1:30 PM
 

Brett Singer said:

That HAS to be the title of a children's book.

January 22, 2009 4:02 PM

About Cole Gamble

Cole Gamble’s writings on the crimes of Willy Wonka, man-eating beds and tales from his cringe-worthy life appear here on Babble, the humor site Cracked, The Daily Beast, The Huffington Post and Salon. He is working on a book entitled, Conquer Everything! A Self Help Book to Destroy All Other Self Help Books and Grant You Mastery in Everything.

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