Strollerderby

I agree with your non-LLL pressure, pro-breastfeeding position. As someone who is just now weaning my 14 month old, one thing that was really helpful was knowing other breastfeeding moms and a good lactation consultant who could help me figure out the tricky parts.

All babies are different, but one really nice benefit for us was that our daughter has had no digestive issues or diaper rash. I think that is at least in part due to lots of mommy goodness over the past year. And, of course, not having to sterilize bottles/worry about BPA/etc. has been nice. I think women should be able to get all the information about the health and practical benefits of breastfeeding, as well as lots of support if they choose to, and anyone who can't or chooses not to should be left alone. I just don't want to hear from them when I nurse my child (discreetly) in public.  

Sorry, this is so not on point really, but "breastmilk recall" - hee hee hee hee heee!

I did nurse my son for over a year, so I understand all the benefits. I have to argue with you on a couple of points, though.

#2) I have heard stories about women like this, but I have never actually met one. I am not saying that they don't exist, but I think the numbers are very small. Either women try and cannot breastfeed, or they have a situation where they cannot, like they have to go back to work right away.

Also, I have yet to meet a lactation consultant I liked. I have found them to be pushy to the point of being discouraging. My friends tell me the same things about the consultants they have dealt with. Other women I met who had problems with nursing have been a much bigger help to me.

#3) Actually, I had a few of these wonderful lac consultants tell me that it was not good to give expressed milk in a bottle, so there is an argument there. They gave me lots of reasons, none of which made any real sense to me.

#4) The whole "doctors once said smoking was healthy" argument is not a good one. These doctors were part of large ad campaigns. As early as the 1930's there was scientific evidence that smoking was bad for you. Today, there is just more transparency to these studies for those who understand science. (Most "studies" reported in the news are really pseudo-science, though. Another story for another day.)

I obviously believe breastfeeding is good, since I did it for over 12 months. However, looking back I resent the way the lactation consultants made me feel (like a total loser mom who couldn't easily get the most basic motherly action - breastfeeding.) I really did not need that attitude in those first few months, and I actually felt like it hampered bonding with my child. (I was just too stressed.) Once I stopped seeing these consultants and just went to moms groups instead, it was so much better.

Even the formula companies claim that their products are "as close to breastmilk as you can get".  I think everyone in science knows that breastmilk is good for you.  They even give it to sick elderly patients who can't digest other foods.  There is a wacky list of other things to do with breastmilk at:

www.associatedcontent.com/.../breast_milk_and_its_many_uses.html

Once, I was at a playgroup and there was one woman who told me she stopped breastfeeding because she had a low milk supply and I was all like, "Did you try this...or this...?"  Then I realized that even though I was trying to be helpful, she could have felt it as me being pushy and going all lactivist on her.  So I just shut up about it.  I think women who breastfeed might have experienced the lack of support from friends, family, or society about it and so they try to encourage it to cancel out those negative views so other women will experience how wonderful breastfeeding can be.  I hear of women who didn't breastfeed their first child but did it with their subsequent children.  I rarely hear of women who breastfeed their first child for a year and then didn't do it with the following ones.  You know why?  Cause if you get the hang of it, breastfeeding rocks.

what if you know that your nipples and nipple play are fairly essential for you to reach orgasm and you're afraid that the desensitized nips bf-ing can bring on will thwart that? i'm not kidding here... it's a big concern of mine. how or what can i do?

Lucy, actually I know many women who breastfeed the first and then don't for the subsequent kids. Either they had to go back sooner for the second, or breastfeeding was difficult for them, and it was harder to deal with those issues and taking care of a toddler than it was the first time around.

I know I had such a hard time with breastfeeding, I always thought that if I had older kids to take care of I would never be able to put all that work into it without completely neglecting my other kids.

Also, I'm not sure about the whole "breastfeeding rocks" thing. I did it for a year because I thought it was the best thing for my baby, but when he was weaned I was so relieved. It was just never that easy for me.

And you were right to stop talking when you were giving that woman advice. From her point of view, she may have tried really, really hard, and hearing from someone after the fact, when it was too late for her to do anything about it, can appear on the outside to be cruel.

I've been breastfeeding for a little over a year, and while I do think it has it's benefits, it really is time-consuming and requires a lot of patience and dedication. Sometimes I wish I had bottle fed. My son is 12 months old and still breastfeeds at least 5 times a day. Weaning is going to be tough.

Anon, in my case everything turned out fine nipple-wise. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but it might make you feel better to know that at least one person had no problem. I breastfed my twins for 16 months, and I definitely wanted to be left alone for a lot of that time. Once I stopped, things returned to normal and I'm as sensitive as ever.

Leave it to a non-mammary gland bearing male to chime in with another benefit - breastfeeding is cheap!

As my wife neared 12-months with our daughter her supply started to go down. At that point we supplemented with formula and even that small amount got expensive. I couldn't imagine the coin we would have dropped had we been "formula only" the entire time.

I find breastfeeding from a male perspective interesting and refreshing. I agree with you, not the other guy. But I disagree with both of you on the topic of LLL members and breastfeeding nazis. Are there breastfeeding nazis? Sure, but there are equally as bad and worse formula pushers (meet my mother in law, every doctor I have taken my daughter to, even my co-workers without children who claim to be "hippies"). I think much of the breastfeeding push is that these moms are tried of being judged for breastfeeding in public, past a certain age or period when there are clearl and well established benefits. Look at the articles outside of the normal parenting BS and breastfeeding helps prevent everything from ear infections, to childhood cancer (yes, seriously). There are equally as many breastfeeding moms who would never know still breastfeed their two year or women out there who have done so but don't mention it to every mom they meet.

Anon- 12 months into nursing my first child, my nipples are much more sensitive and responsive than before.  My husband is one of those who needs to block all nursing images from his mind in order to have sex with me (for him it's like hearing the baby crying in the background), but as long as we can get over that, nursing has been a total plus for us.

well written male-perspective by Brett and certainly a relief to hear someone else trying to pass out some good points to ponder. Careful, this may lead to the many terms describing zealots... Brett, let me know if I could make copies of this to hand out in our boutique- The Upper Breast Side.

I never had one person pressure me into using formula with my child, but lord did I HEAR FROM EVERY LIVING SOUL about how if I chose not to breastfeed, or if I failed at it, or if I didnt do it til past the age of one that I was essentially setting up my child to fail.  I personally think that there should be more support for women and motherhood, in general and less guilt.  I think this lack of support contributes to the loneliness and isolation that some women feel once they enter motherhood.

This irks me to no end.

If you want to breastfeed your kid, then fine.

if you tried and quit, then that's o-freakin'-kay.

if you never attempted, to for whatever reason, then that's fine too.

i'm tired of a bunch of people imposing what THEY feel is "right" on other people!

whatever you choose, as long as the freakin' baby is fed, then there is no harm done. no one is going to explode.

this is coming from a mother of 6 who breastfed (pumped and straight boob) until each were about 12 months. actually, i gave boob up until 5 or 6 months (when teeth start coming in), and pump only up 'til a year.

dhsredhead, I am really surprised people tried to push formula on you. I guess I live in a bubble (San Francisco), but nobody here says anything except that breast is best. Our pediatrician and OB encouraged me to breastfeed, as did everyone else. I can imagine that there are parts of the country where things might be different.

I am trying to learn to BF a preemie who is still in the hospital, and right now as i type this am hands-free pumping because I know breast milk gives my baby a better chance of making it out of the hospital sooner and in better health than if she is exclusivly formula fed.

A guy ( or a woman, for that matter) telling a woman that "if you don't try [BF] just because you dont want to, you should" and calling women  who physically could BF who chooses not to try to BF "lazy" is very offensive to me.  I am very pro BF. But I am also pro respecting an individual's right to decide what they will do with their own body.  Sure, educate women about the actual benefits of breast milk, and do all you can to make it easier for women to do it--push for six months of paid maternity leave, push for insurance companies to pay for lac consultant visits and for breast pumps to be covered. But don;t guilt trip women who decide for whatever reason, that they do not want to feed their child from their breasts. THat is a very personal matter. Each mom should get to decide for herself without some jerk telling her that she is lazy if she doesn't do it. Even if a mom tells you she is not BFing bc she just doesn;t want to, maybe she just doesn't want to tell you why she doesn't want to. Again, support BFIng by calling for paid maternity leave and for insurance coverage of goods and services that can help women BF, but don't tell women what they should do with their own bodies. That is just none of your business and  disrespectful.  

Must chime in on one of my favorite subjects...I nursed my son) til age 2(try weaning a 2y/o...very interesting) and he did not have a dental cavity til after age 30! The benefits of breastfeeding.

Women have milk so they can feed their off-spring. Just like any other mammal.

I did, however, feel a bit queasy at a La Leche meeting observing a breastfeeding 4 y/o.

Just another thought. My dear friend was observed giving her 3 months old a bottle and was derided by serveal women for not breastfeeding. She ignored them, as she should have. Her doctor had put her back on anti-depression medication, which she had been on for a number of years, and stopped taking when she became pregnant. 3 months after giving birth, her post-partum was pretty severe and her husband and I had to convince her that a happy mom and formula was much better for the baby than a very depressed mom and breast milk. Those who can breast-feed, great, but some issues go well beyond not wanting to or being "lazy." It's a shame women judge other women so harshly.

By the way - her now almost three year old is extremely healthy, has barely been sick, no allergies and is a delight. Not because he was formula feed, but because his parents raised him in a happy, loving (and mostly organic) home.