Strollerderby

Is this debate occuring anywhere else in the world?  Do women in Nepal, Iran or Ukraine worry about being a bad mother by choosing to breastfeed or not?  Does anyone care anyplace else about this non issue?  No.  This contraversy is made up by a society with too much time on their hands.  How luxurious that we can worry that about how we nourish our kids. Grow up people.

Darn tooting. There is no area of parenting more fraught with peril for new, anxious, guilt-ridden moms than breastfeeding. Most moms I meet have similar stories of overwrought nurses scaring the bejeezus out of them in the hospital, telling them their newborn babies would starve if they didn't do something now. It happened to me, and if it weren't for a couple of sensible doctors, I might never have tried breastfeeding.

Now I have another problem. My son is 10 1/2 months and is starting to wean, and breastfeeding is getting really difficult. As is pumping. I feel like I basically have to pump all day just to get a bottle's worth. But he absolutely won't take formula, even mixed with breast milk. And cow's milk is a no-no under one. So what do I do? There is no good, solid information out there for this end of the process, no help, no support. Most of the information I get runs along the lines of why do you want to wean? You should keep trying to breastfeed as long as possible! You should breastfeed til he's 2 or 3. Well, that's just not going to happen. It's really frustrating.

Very good points.  I was a breastfeeder who needed info and support and turned to La Leche.  I agree they need help with their message. I WAS a breastfeeder but they STILL made me feel like a bad mom just because I didn't think it was the most awesome thing I will ever do in my life!!  

And incidentally, I find your post very Obama-esque-- the old tired big government / small government (breast / bottle) debate doesn't apply!!!

Best post on breastfeeding yet! I'm so glad you're back.

Amen.

And I'll also add, at the risk of opening a whole other can of worms, that it's hard for me to take seriously any arguments for or against breastfeeding coming from a man.

Shannon -- Have you considered soy or rice milk for your son (assuming he'll drink from a cup)? They're both so fortified that I wonder if they'd be acceptable substitutes. I'm curious, too, about cow's milk, just because my sister and I both weaned well before one year, and my mom gave us cow's milk to no ill effect. Granted, this was nearly 3 decades ago, but it might be worth asking your doctor about.

My first son weaned himself at 10 mos. He did take formula, so that wasn't a problem, but that stuff is expensive!

Alice, I couldn't have said it better myself.

I had the same experience as Heather. I nursed my son, but because I found it difficult and didn't have any immense joy in doing it, I was made to feel like a horrible mom.

I had several lac consultants tell me something along the lines of "this is the greatest thing you will ever do your child." I find this idea extremely depressing. No matter how good breastfeeding is, I just can't believe that, for the rest of our lives, there is nothing that I am going to do that is as good. ugh

Alice, re. your question about whether breastfeeding has ever been an issue in other locales around the world: oh, yes, certainly it has. Witness the huge uproar over "lazy mothers" (so called because they didn't breastfeed) in Iran in the early part of the twentieth century; that's only one example of many. Breastfeeding becomes a debated topic whenever the role or status of women starts to shift or becomes an "issue" in the eyes of government or society. I think that is part of what underlies the current breastfeeding wars in the U.S. We're not unique in this regard.

Nice Hillary. I'm sure you keep all of your opinions to yoourself when it comes to "Men's" issues.

Shannon, my daughter started weaning around the same age, and my boobs just sort of stopped working when the pump came around. So I kept up nursing when I could for another 4 or 5 months and when I wasn't available, she drank soy milk especially fortified with the DHA-Omega 3, and all was well. She hated formula, too - and after opening a can and taking a whiff, I could see why. That stuff smells (and tastes! I tried it!) HORRENDOUS.

Does La Leche League need to improve its image or do media sources like Babble.com need to do a bit of research before shooting at the easy target?  I suppose just dismissing the importance of breastfeeding would be too conservative or mainstream or conventional for such a hip website. It wouldn't be PC. The blog posts wouldn't be quite so pithy. So pluck a non-profit about which your writers clearly know nothing to constantly use as the stand-in for all that is "wrong" with breastfeeding promotion.  

When my son was with me, he nursed.  When I was at work (part time that year) or elsewhere, he had organic formula because I hated the pump.  However, I could do that because I had the luxury of working part time; if I had had to work full time and nurse round the clock, I would have died of exhaustion.

He weaned at 15 months.. easily, gently.

With son #2, I hope to do the same.

I agree with the original post whole-heartedly. And as for LLL, I think a few hard core members give the organization a bad name, making women feel guilty about working, or needing more sleep, etc. (and I say this as someone who is just now weaning my 14 month old, having returned to work a few months ago).

Thank you! My son is six weeks old, and I'm going to formula feed him at daycare because I can't pump worth a damn, but breastfeed him at lunch and after hours. I feel like a failure, but it's going to be the best decision for both of us. I always feel like an awful mother when I pull out the formula for my husband or MIL, and when I tried to get help from an LC with pumping, she made me feel like an abusive mother for not trying harder.

Jake, La Leche League needs to improve its image. I wouldn't call them to help me breastfeed with a ten-foot pole.

Interesting that women might not breastfeed because it's gross or that they might be labelled as being a show-off. I think it often IS for the social reasons women choose to bottle feed. Everyone in their right mind with a health care provider working in the 21 st century KNOWS breastmilk is best, but when it comes down to it, a lot of us fear reprisals from the social stigma that still exists. Shame.  --- breastfeedingmomsunite.com

SHANNON --  Keep feeding!  I think one of the things that no one ever tells us is that babies wax and wane (wean?) on the boob appetite.  Yours might be going through a wane right now...just keep offering it if you want to keep BFing, and your LO will come back.  And, your supply will do its best to keep up.  

Good job Madeline.  Breastfeeding is not easy, and there is such a lot of misinformation out there.  If only I had known that it can be really hard to figure out....and that it gets easier as the kid gets older.  Nursing after 1YO is a breeze compared to those first few months.  Mom's need to know so much more about breastfeeding.  THanks!

Okay, I am currently pregnant,and I have no interest in breastfeeding.Everyone around me looks at me as if to say "why???". Here's my image: Olive Garden, and a mother breastfeeding her three year old at the dinner table. That was enough forme to say--- Creepy, no thanks. My mother had a hard time with getting me and my brother to breastfeed, and I would rather enjoy feeding times with my son than be frustrated.Isn't there enough frustrating parenting issues that frustrate us? Let's keep it simple.

When the doctor tells my daughter in law that 1-2 wet diapers a day is fine, I have a problem.  Kernicterus is irreversible brain damage from people trying to breast feed, that can't.  The autopsies of the brains are yellow in color, it can never be changed.  Permanent retardation to an otherwise normal child, for what?  So many babies readmitted to a hospital for jaundice, leading to kernicterus, (brain damage.)  Is it really worth it?  Do we really want to be a third world country?   No indoor plumbing, and they don't starve the kids till the milk comes in.  They feed, honey water, sugar water, or the neighbor or other relative breast feeds them.  So are you willing to let your neighbor breast feed your child till your milk comes in?  I don't think so.  So why do we starve our babies, risk their health?  Oh yeah, so they will get the antibodies.  If they have a healthy immune system, and you wash your hands, and don't take them to Chuck E Cheese, they will be fine on their own.  We could devise a study to show how it makes you smarter to breast feed.  Get the rich moms who breast feed, and compare them to the Foster kids.  Who will be smarter?  Does it matter what they ate, don't think so.  I wish people would start to think and quit being hearded like cattle.  Formula helped moms in the 50's and 60's keep their teeth.  Calcium pulled out of the mom for pregnancy and breast feeding is hard on a body.  Stop the madness, and get over the separation anxiety.  Once the baby is born, and the cord is cut, the baby really doesn't need the mom any more.  It will live, if it is not starved to death first.