Strollerderby

I appreciate your response, but I'm wondering if this thought, "Imagine years later attempting to marry only to have to tell your prospective spouse you have once been through the official religious ceremony before . . . with a frog" - doesn't reflect some American cultural bias, itself.  That is, this explanation might fall hard on the ears of an American man.  But if this is a common practice there, well, if the girls can marry as adults - then wouldn't the grooms think nothing of it?  I would be worried about whether this means the girls will grow up to be unmarried, which I understand can have harsh consequences in India (I don't have any objection to single women myself!) - or widows, ditto that comment - but if they can remarry, I don't see this as a stumbling block.  Does this choice benefit the families financially or otherwise?  

I can't say I really understand this practice, nor am I condoning it. But I think I'd need a lot more education in Indian culture to really make a call about whether it's harmful or not to these girls.

Far be it from you... Then stop there.  Let us know what you think after you've finished your degree in Anthropology and/or child psychology.

I don't really see the big deal.  Would you prefer that these little girls were instead married off to adult males or other young boys that they get to go live with once they hit puberty?  Because that is generally the alternative for a lot of these little girls from small villages.

Jeanne, do you really think that this is psychologically harmful? I wonder if you truly don't care how inane you come off in your post, or if you are just doing what you need to do to get comments. Anyway, here's one for you:

Maybe if those girls were raised here, there would be an issue. They are growing up in their own village, surrounded by people who understand these kinds of ceremonies. Obviously, there is no real marriage taking place. It's a ritual, pure and simple. Is it silly? It seems so to me. It's a centuries old tradition, and the frogs are standing in for Shiva, who temporarily turned himself into a frog.

I am not one to condone every practice under the sun in the name of cultural sensitivity (for example, the Indian villagers who were throwing babies off of a roof), but this is not hurting anyone.

I find it interesting that in order to defend yourself against the accusation of inanity, you have to raise points that you didn't come close to addressing in your article.

You asked Manajari if they believe that it is medically possible for a marriage between a girl and a frog to cure diseases in the village, despite Manajari having made the point that it was a cultural ritual.

That's a strawman position, Jeanne. Epic fail.

My apologies! You did address your theory of potential pyschological. I must have missed it amidst all those kermit references.

Jeanne,

I usually enjoy your posts but did you even read the article?  

The marriages are " part of a centuries-old "Pongal" harvest tradition to "prevent the outbreak of mysterious diseases in the village""  It's a simply a ritual.  I don't think you have to worry about the entire burden of the disease prevention falling on a 7 yo girl - I honestly doubt it is placed on them as a burden - nor do I believe they would be blamed if it failed.    

Since the beginning of time, all cultures, western and eastern have rituals to prevent or wish for things that we westerners would now think ridiculous.  Have you ever prayed?  It's the same thing.  

And nowhere in the article was there even an implication that the girls would be considered widowed or not eligible for marriage in the future.    If I'm not mistaken, a christian confirmation is very marriage-like - wedding gown and all - I don't think we would consider the cause to be "illiteracy and lack of exposure"    

I suppose you can be forgiven somewhat as the tone of the article is extremely judgmental and frankly, racist but honestly, I would expect more.

"As I said, what happens when the "marriage" doesn't cure the disease that's plaguing the village? Yes, it's a western approach, but do you really see this as a medical possibility?"

Yes, Jeanne, I do. I absolutely think that it the ceremony will prevent mysterious diseases. That is exactly what I said in my comment.

Do you think that anyone in that village really expects the girls to bear responsibility for any illnesses that occur after the ceremony? Do you think that when people pray, it always works? Imagine if you taught your child to pray for those in trouble. Would that be psychologically damaging? What if your child prayed that a sick relative would recover? If the relative died would your child be held responsible because her/his prayer didn't work?

Are you serious with this nonsense?

I think this ritual sounds lovely. I also feel as though this may be something that  perhaps the two girls will be proud of one day rather than ashamed or traumatized by. I do not think that the people of this village truly believe that all the burden rests on these two girls or that this will be the end of all illness.

Again, if your child prayed for a relative's recovery, and the relative died, isn't it possible that your child would feel responsible?

There is no burden being put on these girls' shoulders. You are inventing that out of your complete inability to understand a culture that is so different from your own.

If you object to this practice, I would hope that you also object to all of the bizarre psychological and physical burdens placed on young children by other religions. Going through all the preparation for my Bat Mitzvah was certainly stressful (what, at age 12, I'm a woman? what does that mean?), and I've known many, many Christian kids who were pretty disturbed by the notion that anything they did wrong might keep them from Christmas presents, let alone Heaven.

Take home message: every religion has problems like this. If you object to frog marriages, then I hope you've got similar problems with teaching any religious concept to any child - including religious concepts embraced by white people who speak English and don't seem "weird" to you.

Thank you, Bunny! That's exactly my point.

I love Strollerderby. Sometimes I get all riled up by some of the comments, but I have rarely been so pissed off by a post. This kind of ignorance is just frustrating.

As an atheist, I like to poke fun of all y'all's religions. But I think we could lighten up on this particular form of religious crazy, as other comments have suggested. It doesn't seem that harmful to me.

Yes, I should let this go and yes, I'm more riled up because this happens to be my culture you're judging.  I've never heard of the ritual but I really don't think it's as serious as you make it out to be.  Yes the article says "forced" but it could, and likely is, forced in the same way you force your child to go to grandma's for dinner, their cousin's birthday or school, on a day they don't want to.  

The article actually  notes that the whole tradition, of which the frog marriages may be a small part, is meant to ward off diseases, so the whole thing may not be falling on the childrens' shoulders.  The "weddings" are not real.

There are plenty of outratges to worry about in all cultures that merit attention.  I don't think this is one of them