Strollerderby

I read the babysitter's blog post, and I have to say I agree with her. She mentions that she is getting paid $10 an hour. That seems awfully low to me for 3 kids. She makes a really good point in that the parents want the house to be spotless, but they don't really understand how hard it is to deal with 3 kids at once. It sounds like the parents, not having to deal with taking care of 3 kids throughout the day, don't understand how much work it is and are asking her to do too much.

We hire a babysitter for date nights once a month. We pay her $15 an hour, and for most of that time my son is sleeping, so she does not have to do any active work. Still, we are paying her to be there in case he wakes up and to be able to handle anything that goes on with him. I would never dream of asking her to do extra chores. She does clean up his toys, and put them in very nice, neat order, and I am very thankful for that.

It all depends on what is agreed upon before the job actually starts, how much someone is getting paid, etc. I was a live out nanny when I was younger, and I was expected to do a few other things around the house during the child's nap. I don't hire babysitters, but if I did, I would consider someone who was willing to do a few other things (especially while they are napping). I would NEVER ask a babysitter to do adult laundry or serious cleaning. Making sure the kids put away their things is different, and I can see folding baby laundry as ok if agreed upon in advance. I would never spring a new task on someone that wasn't discussed in advance.

I just think clear boundaries need to be set and that can be a difficult task for a teen attempting to negotiate with parents. However, it is necessary. It's not uncommon for people to get comfortable and start to ask more as time goes on.

Do you want a baby/kid sitter or a mommy's helper? In my opinion, a baby/kid sitter is there to watch/entertain/mind your child. Small tasks such as meal clean up, toy clean up, getting ready for bed/day/a class or a play date should be expected. A mommy's helper is hired to do whatever it is that the mommy needs at the time and that would include, if not exclusively entail, chores. As I stated above, though, clear boundaries need to be made prior to starting the job.

She's there to take care of the children - if they have a playdate to go to, they ought to be dressed and groomed appropriately, they should have clean hands and faces after lunch, she should pick up and wash their dishes, change their diapers, make sure that things are put back after use (it's standard protocol when I watch my children, so why not when she does?). etc etc. And she should pick up after herself, too - I had a sitter once come over, put my kid to bed with a filthy face, and then left her own (not my daughter's, even!) bowl, silverware and glass on the kitchen table - wtf?! Needless to say, she was asked not to return.

If you can find that magical person who likes to tidy and will clean up your kitchen, then by all means, hold on tight and pay them extra.

I think Manjari and LogicalMama are right no - it sounds like a communication problem.  The sitter expected she wasn't doing housework, the parents expected she was, and neither of them mentioned anything.  I think this is something that happens a lot between people - and the right thing to do is tackle it head on, and just say: hey, I think we have some miscommunication here. Let's work it out.  

On her side! I was once in a similar situation: $10/hr (in Chicago), 2 kids age 4.5 and 6.5, hired as babysitter. Except that I was also expected to do the laundry (which included both parents' and kids' clothes), haul groceries in (huge things of water from Costco!), constantly unload the dishwasher, cook food always for the kids (expected) and sometimes for the parents. I don't mind helping. In my long career as a baby-sitter, I've always done extra things around the house when there's time -- family's dishes, straightening of non-playroom-areas, etc. My mom always told me to leave the house cleaner than how I found it, which I did. However, I felt that this woman constantly asked me to do things that would better fall under umbrella of "mother's helper", and she was NEVER appreciative of anything that I did. Asking nicely goes a LONG way with me. It didn't help that she was a bitch, husband had no balls, and the kids were rude. When I walked into the house in the afternoon, I'd always greet the kids, and most of the time they would ignore me. Even if the mom was standing right there, she wouldn't tell them that good manners dictate at least saying "Hi." The final straws were: her making me refold the sheets, because I had folded them inside out (the way my mom taught me -- it's easier!); being forced to wipe her kids' butts after poop (a 6.5 y/o boy needs to be wiping on his own); and her implying that I was a pervert when I told her that the kids (boy and girl) were acting sexually in their shared bath. I actually asked for a raise: I thought, "I can handle this if I'm paid better" and she told me that she didn't think that the work that I did was equal to that which her housekeeper ($13/hr) did, so no raise. Leaving there was such a relief, and I've always wanted to tell her that her non-greeting kids were going to be as bitchy as she if she didn't teach them some manners. (Actually, I met her mother a few times: That explained A LOT.)

"Mary Poppins" is dead-on: If she's taking care of the three kids who overwhelm the parents when they're home, she sure shouldn't be expected to iron socks, at leat not for $10/hr.

As a former babysitter, I always did the dishes since I usually ate with the kids.  Also, I would have the kids clean up any toys or put clothes in the basket when getting ready for bed.  But, I was not the maid!  I was the babysitter, so I didn't vacuum unless the mess was a direct result of something the kids and I were doing.  I did not do laundry or iron (I don't iron my own clothes, I am not doing somebody elses).  If the couple wants the babysitter to do more chores around the house, then they need to pay her more AND the sitter has to officially agree to it.  She should be getting more that $10/hr for 3 toddlers anyway.

She's not the cleaning lady. She's the nanny. They want more than just a nanny. Doing the dishes you dirty while cooking with the kids is part of the job. Cleaning the house, doing the parents laundry, ironing socks is not part of being a nanny. You can not expect a nanny to look after the kids in the way she is hired to do and clean your house. As a former nanny, $10/hour for 3 kids under 5 was way underpaid in the early 90's, babysitters ask $15/hour in Chicago now, when I used to charge $8 for one, in bed; I can't imagine what nannies must/should be making now for one, let alone 3!  

I loved this comment form the article"

"We stay-at-home moms clean the house while taking care of the kids, so why would we hire someone to stand in for us who only does half the job?" We "stay-at-home moms" have no choice but to clean our homes, we rarely get the luxury of just being able to read to our kids all day, or go out and play with them all day. Nannies are not stand in stay at home mom's; they are nannies, they just want to take care of the kids, and that is what they are hired to do. Nannies are not mom's, and could never be paid enough to be.

Jeanne, I think you misunderstood what this babysitter was saying. It seems like she does not mind doing reasonable chores relating to the kids. (She talks about ironing their dress clothes for parties, and how that is OK.) She just does not think she has to do things like iron their pajamas, or do the parents' laundry, and I have to agree with her. It looks like these parents are overwhelmed when they are with the 3 kids, but expect the babysitter to take care of them and do a ton of unreasonable chores. I don't think it is too much for her to say no to this.

I totally agree with Mary Poppins.  She is being paid to watch 3 kids.  That's a handful for one person and if she's ironing the socks and doing the parent's laundry, what are the kids doing?  She needs to give three kids her full attention...that's what she was hired to do.

I babysat my entire teen years.. the only work I did was related to the kids, make lunches, clean it up, pick up toys, and whatever else mess was done while I was there.. I admit during quiet times (like naps) I did dishes that were left behind, or swept and vac'ed .. but most of my time was spent literally playing with the children.. You would usually find me on the floor playing a game or toys or just chatting and being silly.  

I'm confused are we talking about all day nannies, or just a babysitter for date night?

Either way if I hire someone to watch my kid that's all I want them to do. I don't want them distracted by chores. Maybe a SAHM can vacuum and watch a toddler (which is amazing to me) but I want my babysitter focussed on my kid, period. Not helicopter style, just take care of the kid, read to her, play, let her play by herself, and if you can get her down early for bed then kick back and relax as it means I don't have to worry about it. That's the beauty of having a 2 bed/1bath home, I can clean it my damn self.

It sounds like most of these high maintenance Moms really would rather just have a nice slave girl.

I can't even imagine asking someone who is supposed to be watching my kids to do my laundry.  Or deep cleaning.  I don't want to come home to a trashed house, but that just isn't her job.  When we do have someone watch our kids they are usually in bed anyway, so the only thing a sitter would have to do is rescue them should the house catch fire.  

I babysat as a teen.  I did not do chores.  I took care of the kids, I put the dishes in the dishwasher and if they were sleeping I quietly read a book.  I did not poke through their things or snoop or tidy.  It was not my home and I would have felt presumptuous doing that on my own and mistreated if asked to act as maid as well as babysitter.

I would never ask a babysitter to do chores.  Seriously, I would feel like a snooty, entitled b*tch if I did anything like that.  I had a cleaning service that came in (before the big recession), and I wouldn't have asked them to change diapers!