I
will get you pregnant.
Let
me rephrase that.
There are some interesting claims out there
on techniques to increase your chances of pregnancy. A lot of it is likely bull,
but definitely interesting. Personally, I have only two techniques to increase
pregnancy:
1) Have sex.
2) Repeat.
But some argue it’s more than that, such as:
1) "Missionary position. Studies suggest
the missionary position allows for deepest penetration, thus releasing sperm
closer to the opening of the cervix."
2) "Fertili ‘Tea’ with vitex." Yeah,
right. “Tea.” What do you want to bet the secret ingredient “vitex” is just
another word for vodka?
3) "Intercourse at least every other
day." Oh, that’s the secret. And here we were doing it only once a year.
4) "Post coital position. Women should
relax on their back after intercourse with their hips upward in the doctor
recommended position for 15 minutes allowing sperm easier access through the
cervix."
5) Involves some sort of a kilt. If it's for
dudes, we're not wearing it, no way.
6) Yoga. Remember, yoga is magic. And who
doesn’t want a limber baby?
7) "Avoid artificial sweeteners." But
I want Splenda babies!
8) "Hot baths. Studies indicate they may
paralyze or hinder sperm. Cool surroundings offer the highest sperm and
motility count."
9) "Avoid scrotum pressure." I’m on
board with that one.
10) "Cleaning products." I have to
stop spraying my wife with Windex while we’re doin’ it.
Have you ever used any of these? Did it work?
Thanks to Nerve for finding these.
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