Recent studies showing that marriages don't necessarily suffer after the arrival of a baby left one caveat in place. That is, marriages that were already stable, in which both partners wanted the new baby, and which did not become overly entrenched in stereotypical gender roles "bounced back" after initial baby-related stress by the time the child reached about 18 months old.
Now researchers are turning that finding to insist on new wisdom that defies the insistence of mothers and mothers-in-law the world over. A baby won't make a suffering marriage better. In fact, a new baby in those circumstances is most likely to be the nail in that marriage's coffin. Researchers found that when parents were in disagreement over the timing of a baby, they became separated or divorced by the time the child reached age five.
It seems obvious to me that vulnerable marriages would suffer more, rather than rebound after the birth of a baby. That said, I'm sure there are anecdotes out there to the contrary. Still, it seems like common sense that babies should wait for all parents to be on board and excited about the new addition.
See also:
They Say: Kids Might Not Doom A Marriage
Kids: Bringers or Destroyers of Marital Happiness?
Mother and Daughter Parted After Lesbian Break Up
