Strollerderby

OK, I have a bias against spanking so I'll state that up front.  I don't think it works, and there's a ton of research out there showing this.  I also understand how frustrating raising one, much less 5, can be and realize how some will resort to spanking as discipline so I don't think I'm better necessarily because I don't rely on spanking.  I did it once, and it was a huge mistake so I really dont' judge the person who has spanked their child in the heat of the moment -- but this guy is out of control and should serve as a warning to anyone who thinks this sort of discipline is ok.  

I generally don't have the opportunity to watch these shows, but I heard about this one.  Man oh man.  I can't believe he did all of this in front of a camera crew.  It makes me wonder what he's like when they're not there.  I'm sure some would say that the smacking, hitting, spanking, whatever you call it, doesn't look like it would cause bruising or serious injury, but I have to wonder what it is doing to these children on the inside as well when you combine it with his verbal abuse. I haven't seen the whole show, but I hope watching his behavior has at least turned a light bulb on in his (and his possibly enabling wife's) head.  I can't believe he's relying on the "this is how my momma raised me and I turned out ok" response to justify his behavior.  Sad.

He, and his family, clearly needs some help.  

If my husband did even a fraction of what was on that clip (and thank God, he never would), I would take my children and walk out the door.  That man has no self control.  He can be "ashamed" all he wants, though I truly doubt that he is, but until he can control himself, he should be nowhere near those children!  That was heart wrenching!

"Reality" shows make me so uncomfortable.  I don't watch any of them regularly, but I am familiar with SuperNanny and have seen a few episodes.  I never know whether the producers egg the children on to make them even worse (for better television) or encourage the moms and dads to lose it/swear/sob/threaten (again, for better television.)  Mostly I think it's terribly sad and exploitative.  If the man truly wielded a belt and called the children bitch/slut/ho then clearly he needs a big Time Out.  He sounds like a sad sap.  Most of the parents I see on these shows seem screwed up.  I prefer to keep my screwed up self away from the television cameras...

Some people shouldn't have children. He is one of those people.  He has no idea how scarring it is for a parent to mentally abuse their children. It goes without saying what the slapping and using a belt does.   My dad was verbally abusive and it lead me to believe I wasn't lovable.  It took years for me to accept that I could be loved for me and that I was a valuable person no matter what my dad said.  Shame on both of these people. I'm glad there was a viewer brave enough to lodge a complaint.  My question is why didn't ABC?  Why didn't more people?

My father is exactly like this guy.

I wish to hell there had been a super nanny to rescue my sister and me.

I don't watch this show, usually because I can't stand watching out-of-control brats, but watching an out-of-control abusive man is much, much worse.  I'd glad to hear he's being investigated.  He richly deserves it, and any other negative consequences that result from his behavior here.  OMG, if this is how he acts with cameras rolling, what must he be like in private?  Those poor kids.  That poor woman.

Using a belt on a toddler.  OMFG.  And watching that tiny girl fall to the floor after he smacked her in the head might be the worst thing I've ever see an adult do to a child.

Mom should be investigated, too, as far as I'm concerned. There's no excuse to not stand up for the children you brought into this world.

I have no problem with spanking but what this man did goes way beyond using spanking to discipline.  It is obviously mental and physical abuse of a child.  Just because you choose to spank does not mean you are an abuser, which is implied in this entry.  And just because you are "anti-spanking" does not mean you are NOT a child abuser.  I think if you are not disgusted by this man's behavior something is really wrong, and kudos to the people who called in the complaint after viewing the show.

It should be noted that most of the damage that typical corporal punishment does to children is mental - a typical whack on the butt doesn't really hurt a child physically very much, but it scares the crap out of them and makes them afraid of the parent, and teaches them some very negative things about the use of power (might = right, etc).

I don't think that anything my parents did to me actually ever left so much as a bruise on me, but the emotional damage was certainly done. I can appreciate how if a child pushes you to the limit, you might smack them on the butt once or twice and then feel awful about it, but there is NO excuse for using corporal punishment on children routinely, no matter how little it may actually hurt. Children don't remember what you smacked them for, but they remember that you hit them when you're mad and they can't defend themselves.

i saw this one (who am i kidding, i watch this show alll the time, i have seen all of them, lol), and there was one part where they were reviewing what had happened while Jo was gone. and in one video, the father was trying to sleep, and the little girl walked up to him, and was trying to wake him up, and when he wouldnt she smacked him on the head. and immediatly his hand went out and slapped her in the mouth. I wanted to throw up.

I am no stranger to spanking. I used it at one point, it didnt work for me, but i try not to judge people who do use spanking as a punishment. this guy is not using spanking as a punishment. He uses it to demoralize, and humiliate. he uses it to scare his children into behaving. and he uses verbal abuse to do the same thing. I could not believe what the things he said to his daughters. and i also found it wierd that during the whole show, i only saw the son like once.

Hello!? If he is using a belt and hitting a child on the face and doing these things when he's mad, HE IS NOT SPANKING. Good God. If you have a problem with actual spanking, that's your business. But please stop calling hitting with instruments and face-hitting "spanking." It. Is. Not.

I was spanked as a kid (for telling lies and for defiance only), and there was only one time when I was ever "emotionally damaged" by it. My dad spanked me at age 8 when I had a friend over (because I lied), and I was humiliated. I was mad at him, but not scared. Incidentally, I'm pretty sure that that was my last spanking ever, and I think that my dad now regrets that incident. The goal of spanking is NOT to scare one's children but to give them an immediate consequence for their actions when reason alone isn't going to get the point across. You might think that I'm a terrible person for spanking or threatening to spank my toddler when he comes out of his room 6+ times at nap or bedtime, but it gets the job done and keeps me sane. Or when I spank his younger brother on the thigh when he tortures my toddler at night by "being crazy" (throwing things at him and keeping him awake on purpose). Have you tried reasoning with a 16-month old? I can assure you that my children are not scared of me; actually, thinking that that might be the case just made me laugh. Little Bear LOVES his Mama Bear.

I'm not against spanking, but what this man is doing is abuse. A child should NEVER be called names by their parents, and it's obvious he has no self control.

I hope the wife leaves him and takes the kids. No judge would let him keep them after they aired this in court.

It was all awful,but that last bit, where the kid's head went flying back when he hit her, that made my stomach turn.

I watched that show.  Those little girls were precious.  But he was teh bigest baby in the family.  I think his wife is a dumbass for staying with him and should be held as criminally negligent for allowing him to abuse those children.  He did not just spank them, he called them horrible names, slapped thier little faces, terrorized them.  He is a bully and I am sure when no one is around he slings them across the room and punches his wife.  He is not a disciplinarian, he is a bully and an abuser. I was spanked as a child and often but nothing like this asshole.

GREAT point ChiLaura. STOP calling what this man did (on camera) spanking.  It is not spanking, this man is abusing his children.

He should be in prison for child abuse, both physical AND mental!!! Mom should be right there with him for neglect!!! I have two small children(a 3 year old boy and a 9 month old girl), and I would NEVER in a million years do what that "man" did! How DARE he use a belt on a child, let alone a 2 year old!!!!! I have nothing against spanking, but there's a VERY fine line between that and child abuse.

My parents never used a belt or anything on me, just an open hand, and I could probably count the number of times it happened on my hand, too. There's one that sticks out in my mind. I was 10, and my curfew was dusk. Well, it started to get late, my parents didn't know where I was, so they went out looking for me. I had ridden my bike over to a friend's house, and next thing I knew they were knocking at the door. My dad told me to get on my bike and they followed me home. When we got there my dad gave me 4 or 5 good swats and I NEVER stayed out late again without calling the rest of the time I lived at home. I'm glad he did that, otherwise I probably wouldn't have been as responsible later on. I never snuck out, I never lied about where I was going to be, and they ALWAYS knew where I was. Now that I've deviated from the original topic lol, let me just close my saying that was merely a lecture my dad gave me compared to what this guy did! The idea of spanking is to keep it few and far between, only for times they REALLY mess up. That way, one, it's not psychologically damaging to the child and two, it'll make them think twice before doing something questionable. I'm glad he's under investigation!!! Maybe he'll be found guilty and the kids can have a shot of how a REAL dad's supposed to be. I just hope he didn't screw up the older girl too bad.... poor thing.

I couldn't wait to log on this morning and see what america was really saying about this- and I'm glad to see that they are feeling what I'm feeling: Heartbreak at seeing that little girl fall to the ground after being slapped in the face- in the middle of the night. I cannot get that image out of my head. NEITHER parent has any right to parent those children at this point- and I strongly feel that Super Nanny herself should have called in Child Protective Services immediately. This isn't a case of the children being out of control. It's a case of the PARENT being out of control. There should be a STRONG outcry from the people if the judge does NOT consider that child abuse. If that's not abusing your child, and abusing your rights as a parent- I don't know what is. I just cannot believe how upsetting that was- and that they man isn't behind bars- and that they AIRED that show. What a shame.

I don't know if what we see in this clip is legally abuse in the eyes of Florida law, but his behavior is abusive in the sense that he uses fear and both verbal and pysical intimidation to try to keep power and control over the other members of the family. I teared up watching this imagining what it was like to live in that house. I feel for those of you who don't have to imagine. What I saw looked like domsetic violence to me.

After watching it again, I realized something else. The only tool this guy has in his tool box is a hammer. He has no idea what else to do, so he gets compliance by being physical. He doesn't even appear to notice what he does until it is shown back to him, which I think underscores why you shouldn't spank. People start spanking in controlled ways, but the kids adjust, it works less, and parents hit harder and more often, and boom you wind up being that guy. Who feels shame at what he does, but has no other tools, no way to really recognize the problem and no one to support doing it differently. You think the guys down at the water plant talk about positive parenting strategies?

Those children need to be taken away.  He needs to go to jail.  The "aw shucks I shouldn't a'done that" nonsense doesn't cut it.  What a monster.

i think he is a bitch and needs to be called a hoe and slut by the world thanks for sending him to jail super nanny you took control!

Shouldn't the camera crew or the "SuperNanny" have known what abuse is when they see it? Shouldn't they have reported it long before the filming was even finished. If anything happened to those kids between the time they shot the ep and when it aired every person involved in that show would have deserved to be in jail.

there is no effective way of using corporal punishment as a form of disciplining your children.  out of control "parenting" is a form of abuse.  and that abuse leaves internal scars on these children for the remainder of their lives.  as a victim of child abuse, the discipline utilized on me began as slapping.  then the abuse escalated quickly and my remaining days spent in that house of horror was filled with anxiety, torment and pain.  is that the impression this father wants to leave on his children?  i understand that parenting is difficult and stressful, but i'm sure other means of discipline are just as effective without causing lifelong internal scars in these innocent children.

Todd Seyler

www.eloquentbooks.com/ChildAbuseandItsLifetimeofDemons.html

That woman has a moral obligation as a mother to take her children and get out of there. If Phil was MY husband, I'd drop him to the curb the SECOND he touched my child like that.

There is no excuse for hitting a child.

If an adult would hit or "spank" another adult, you would never get away with calling it discipline. You would get sued for abuse.

How is that any different from hitting a child? The difference is that the children are defenseless.

I live in Sweden, and here spanking and any form of physical discipline is illegal and has been since 1979. Spanking is child abuse, and there is no extenuating circumstances.

For me it is absolutely unbelievable that spanking or any kind of physical so called discipline is still legal in some states!

If you allow spanking, where do you draw the line? How hard is too hard when it comes to spanking? When does it turn into child abuse? That any parent would get away with child abuse by calling it spanking or discipline is outrageous.

The government should be protecting the children from getting abused, not allowing their parents to abuse them and getting away with it just because it's a convenient way to demonstrate your power on the expense of their defenseless children.

And to you ChiLaura (and others with the same view): Of course your children love you. That doesn't mean that they understand why you hit them. A 16 month old can not comprehend why getting up from bed would have any relation to getting spanked. He does not understand why he can not get out of bed, it just makes him scared to do it. Yes; scared of YOU. Even though he loves you. And I can guarantee that he questions why his mother that says she loves him, would hurt him. It makes no sense to a toddler. It only makes your life a little bit easier in that moment on the expense of your child.