There are plenty of books out there that will instruct you on how to enjoy your pregnancy, have a “relaxing” labor, breastfeed with ease, and still be a fashionista throughout it all. These are not those books. The authors of our “momoir” picks dare to ask the tough questions: what if you hate being pregnant, can’t breastfeed to save your life, or never even planned on having a baby in the first place? In these pages, the road to motherhood may be rocky, but it is also filled with honesty, humor, and ultimately, much love. -- Lindsay Armstrong
BOOK: The Second Nine Months by Vicki Glembocki
Premise: Funny and honest (at times brutally), Vicki Glembocki is out to set the record straight on early motherhood. She wants to tell other women what no one ever told her: those first few months of motherhood are really, really hard.
'Bad Parent' Moment: “ ‘Sometimes, I just want to tell her to shut up.’ Rebecca lowers her head, as if waiting for me to pull the tube of Desitin out of my diaper bag and flog her with it… I stick out my arms, ready to hug her. ‘Sometimes I do! Sometimes I do tell her to shut up!’ I yell."
Funniest Moment: “I grab hold with my hands. I squeeze. Nothing. I squeeze again. Nothing. I wrap both hands around my right boob and squeeze, nothing. ‘ I am trying to milk myself,’ I think.”
Turning Point: “As soon as I unhook the strap on the white nursing tank, Blair curls her body around my chest. She shimmies in, like she can’t get close enough to me, like she’s trying to soak into my skin. She’s never done this before.”
BOOK: Rockabye by Rebecca Woolf [who blogs for Babble at "Straight from the Bottle"]
Premise: Rebecca Woolf’s heartfelt and often hilarious account of what happens when an irrepressible young city girl gets pregnant by accident and decides to keep that baby and marry the boyfriend.
Funniest Reaction to the News: “When I first confessed to my mother that I was pregnant, she sighed and said, ‘I’m just glad that it didn’t happen sooner.’ …It was her sweet way of calling me a slut.”
Best Reason Not to Be Pregnant in L.A.: ”Nothing makes a fat woman feel like more of a fat woman than walking backward uphill next to Jessica Alba.”
Turning Point: “ I am especially in awe of Archer’s cuticles, how they look like they could belong to a grown person even though he is only hours old, hours that separate him from his pre life…This is what it feels like to love somebody, I think.”
BOOK: Accidentally on Purpose by Mary Pols
Premise: Mary Pols had always planned on being a mom. She just didn’t plan on getting pregnant at age 39 after a one-night stand with a sweet, underachieving, and much younger man.
On Telling the Father: "There was no getting around how skimpy our relationship was…We’d spent exactly two nights together, a drunken one night stand and a booty call…I wasn’t sure Matt knew my last name (or cared to), and here I was, heading off…to break the news that I was having his baby."
'Bad Parent' Moment: "The fact that I’d possessed such an extravagant item (a $600 vacuum cleaner) was, I had to admit, similar to buying a $49 candle to remove the rat odor from the trailer I was living in because I didn’t have the savings to move into a new apartment."
Turning Point: "I fell in love with my son unconditionally, and only later did I begin to see pieces of myself in him. That reflection has made it so much easier to love myself."
BOOK: Mamarama by Evelyn McDonnell
Premise: A rollicking ‘momoir’ with a pop-culture twist: what happens when a bohemian, feminist, punk-loving music critic becomes a wife and mom of three.
The Heart of the Matter: "I remember a list that was passed out among us female rock critics… '10 reasons why a book is better than a baby.' I don’t remember the specific digs, but the point was clear: we should make something of our own lives first, before we started making other lives."
So True: "Whoever first said, 'It takes a village to raise a family,' was definitely not talking about the East Village."
On Modern Motherhood: "Mamarama isn’t about the perfect madness of trying to be an over-achieving super mom; rather, it’s about the idea that all moms are super. Just because we have kids doesn’t mean we give up our diva glamour as culture mavens. In fact, parenting adds to our worldliness."
BOOK: My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy by Andrea Askowitz
Premise: Andrea Askotwitz takes an unflinching look at her life as a single lesbian mother-to-be in this humorous memoir of her 40 weeks and five days in hell.
On Conceiving as a Lesbian:"Before the insemination, I had to watch a mandatory video: 'Infertility: The New Solutions.' The video featured three heterosexual couples with various fertility problems….When the video was over I told the nurse I’d discovered my problem. 'What is it?' she asked. 'I’m a lesbian,' I said."
The Truth About Pregnancy: "No one says feeling miserable is a side effect. Everyone talks about pregnancy bliss and the prenatal glow This is the worst experience of my life. I’m anti-social, fat, and scared."
Why It Was All Worth It Anyway: "Maybe I didn’t ask Robin how she was feeling. I certainly didn’t ask Kate. With Tashi I have no choice. I have to consider her first. Tashi makes me better."
