Strollerderby

I think it's like anything... it's not easy, no matter what route you choose. You just have to have strive for some sort of balance. I'm actually not sure if I fit into either of those categories completely. I've worked from home, over the internet, most of my adult life. Since I had my twin girls (at age 30), I continued to try and work from home... but I did have to drop most of my business and focus on them. But, I did keep certain things up....

Now that the girls are getting older (they're about to start preschool in the fall), I'm starting to try and get back out there more, so to speak. It's not easy :-p But, it's the path I chose...

I do think it's hardest when they're babies/toddlers. And if I had it do over (and I just might), I would want to be with them as much as possible during those first, very important years. But, in the end, you do what's right for you, your life and your particular set of circumstances. You just have to make the best of it... no matter what "it" is :-)

Depends on which day you ask me!

Why does Babble bemoan the very existence of the Mommy Wars, yet end a post this way?  Who do we think has it easier?  Most of the commenters here seem to get the concept that most parents are doing what they have to do in the best way that works for their families.  The majority of comments on these "Mommy Wars" posts reflect that sentiment, but here we are again with an open invitation to start degrading one another.  I usually enjoy Babble, but shame on you for this one!

What debate?  I honestly cannot see why I should care whether another mother stays home, works, works from home, or lives off her trust fund with a cavalcade of nannies.   What's 'easier'?  So relative that it's not worth arguing over.

Well said, Twintown.

I hate to bite on this, but...

IMHO, working in an office is much easier than staying home with a baby or toddler.  Once the kids get older though, I think it shifts, and it is easier to be home with the kids.  I am working now and have since DS was 4 months old, but I plan to win the lottery before DS starts kindergarten.  Bon-bons and spa days here I come!

People work in offices, classrooms, construction sites, daycare centers, behind the wheel of a vehicle, some travel, some don't. Some people work tiring jobs and have obnoxious bosses. Some people do what they love and are passionate about their careers. Some people hate to drag themselves to work, but need that paycheck.

Some parents have 1 or 2 children. Some have many more children. Some of us have supportive families, involved spouses, grandmothers, babysitters, nannies. Some of us take care of our children without help.

Then there are all the intangible factors, like personality, preferences, outlook, etc.

It's impossible (and pointless) to say who has it easier. The ease with which someone pulls off anything is based on so many things.

BUT, I think the question being asked here is "...what if you could choose? Which would you do?" Seems like just a conversation starter about what readers' preferences would be. I am staying home for now, my kids are 2. I am guessing that I will be working full time when they are 3 or 4. In our case, we can't figure out how I would find a job that would cover tuition for the twins and a second car. I am kind of happy it works out that way, because I do like being with them full time. When they go to school, I will work. Part of me is looking forward to that, but I know I will miss this too.

Why is it a competition? Being a mom is tough no matter whether you work at home as a SAHM or at a job.

My first child is only three months old so I am still very new to this, but I absolutely LOVE being a stay at home mom.  I love having 24 hours a day to bond with my son. I fall more and more in love with him every day.

Maybe its because I never had a career that I loved, and I've also been blessed with an "easy" baby, but I really feel like I'm on vacation! I know that things will get more difficult as he gets older and capable of getting into things, but I'm also looking forward to that time because I will be able to interact with him more.

If I had to work, I would still get stuck doing most of the housework and baby care, but I would feel much more rushed. I think that would make caring for my son feel more like a chore than a privilege. Kudos to all of the mothers who manage to work and then come home to another full-time job. You have my admiration and respect :)

For a while I had the best of both worlds. I have a full time job working overnights at a shelter. I get to snooze while at work. Then I come home to my kiddos and spend the day with them. For quite a while they didn't even really know that I was gone. I would leave when they were sleeping and return to wake them up. Now with our financial situation I have had to pick up some part-time day work also. I really like getting to spend Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday at home. And it is a nice break on Monday, Wednesday and Friday to work down at the store.

Who has it easier? Neither. What would I choose? Staying home if it weren't for the stress that comes with affording 4 kids and a husband on just his income.

What Twintown said. There are no "mommy wars." It's a media perpetuated myth and fake problem created to cause controversy and sell magazines (or blog advertisements).  

I think what is right for one woman isn't necessarily right for another woman.  I will be a SAHM, because that is what I feel is best for our family.  We'll see how "easy" it is when the twins are born. ;)

I don't think there are "Mommy Wars" anymore, but I work outside the home full time, and desperately wish I didn't have to. I cried for a solid week when I went back to work. I'm currently trying to figure out a way to only work part time, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon. It was really odd, because I thought staying at home was going to be awful. It was hard at first, but once I got the hang of it, I didn't want to go back!

I'm on the side of not pitching women against each other anymore, in "mommy wars" (ridiculous) or anything else.

Once they are in school, it doesn't get any easier.  I don't eat bon-bons nor have I ever watched Oprah during the day (she's also on at 11 pm here, sometimes I'll catch a few minutes of her then).  

I stay home with my kids because I so suck at multitasking and I know I couldn't leave them with anyone if they were sick or whatever.  I know I probably shouldn't feel this way, but I do.  And I never finished college so my job wouldn't "pay" enough to justify the new clothes, commuting costs, daycare for one or after school care for another, lunches and the like.  

Some days rock.  Others don't.  

I work from home, and depending on the day, it's either the best idea I've ever had, or a living nightmare. Some days I wish I could head off to the office, drink coffee and eat my lunch in peace; other days, I think how lucky I am to be playing outside with my daughter when everyone else is working. There are no "sides" to this issue because there are too many variables, even within each woman.