Strollerderby

When Mom's a Sex Offender

Posted by JeanneSager

Alex Dinkel just wants his mom to watch him graduate from high school. Unfortunately for him, Jeni Lee Dinkel will be arrested if she steps on the high school campus. 

She had sex with one of her son's fifteen-year-old classmates in 2007 and is now a registered sex offender. 

The boy Jeni Lee had sex with is no longer at the school, but officials are still saying nixing requests for her to attend Alex's graduation. If it sounds cut and dried, it isn't. Although Jeni Lee was convicted and thus is definitely a sex offender, her son is not your typical high school senior.

Alex was diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma in 2007 (the same year his mother was convicted). He fought the cancer and is in remission, but he's since suffered a heart attack (as a teenager) and now goes everywhere with a defibrillator to keep his heart pumping. When he went into cardiac arrest, it was his parents who brought him back via CPR. 

Along with dad Tom, a former NFL player, Alex held a press conference to speak out against the school.  He says it's not fair to deny him every kid's dream that their parents will watch them graduate. What's more, he says his Catholic high school is not acting in accordance with church teachings which preach turning the other cheek and forgiveness.

Although I think his mom's a creep, I tend to agree with him. A school staff person can easily keep an eye on Jeni Lee during the two or three hours of a graduation ceremony, and she can be escorted off campus immediately after the ceremony ends (or even just after her son receives his diploma). There never has to be a moment when she is alone with a child. As for whether she's looking "the wrong way" at the kids in the room, let's be realistic - there are sex offenders in grocery stores who might get their jollies by looking at our kids. It's the risk we take by letting our kids out of the bubble. 

Do you think the school should give in for just one day? Is this about the parent or the student?

Image: KentuckyEnquirer

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Comments

 

Ruth said:

I think you're right. The school should practice what they preach. Forgiveness. Like you said, let them assign someone to watch over the mother during the graduation and immediately escort off the property.

April 2, 2009 12:21 PM
 

Treespeed said:

She's a pedophile and she obviously wasn't thinking about her medically challenged son two year's ago. Forgiveness my butt, this wouldn't even be being discussed if it was a Father who was the pervert.

April 2, 2009 12:37 PM
 

leahsmom said:

I'm not sure I agree with this either - I do feel badly for the son, certainly. But deputizing a staff member to watch his mom for the graduation, because he is sick? I think I'm ok with that if we also deputize staff members to go to work for parents who can't take off that day, if their children are ill, or for single parents with more than one kid, if the graduate is sick, et c.  If I were his mom, I think I'd want him to learn that there are some things you just can't get out of the consequences for, no matter what the extenuating circumstances - and taking sexual advantage of a teenager when your own son might be dying (sounds really compassionate, lady) is one of those.

April 2, 2009 5:16 PM
 

ChiLaura said:

Forgiving is not the same as forgetting. The school also has a moral responsibility to stand by the parents of other kids who don't want a convicted sex offender at the ceremony. AS someone said above, if this were the father, it wouldn't even be a question! I feel a bit bad for the boy AND the mom, but, she committed a crime.

April 2, 2009 5:48 PM
 

Kelmendi said:

No.  Sex offenders don't get to visit schools, no matter how tragic the sob story is.

April 2, 2009 6:09 PM
 

Persecuter said:

I say ALL criminal should pay FOREVER!

Sex offender, thief, pot head, speeder...you break a law, you go to prison, we throw away the key!

April 2, 2009 11:06 PM
 

MomofBeans said:

I agree with Treespeed. It's unfortunate for her son, but at least he learns that we are held accountable for our actions. His mom was only thinking about herself when she had sex with a teenager. She didn't care enough about her family to exercise restraint, so unfortunately she has to deal with all of the ramifications of her actions.

April 3, 2009 7:01 AM
 

Twyla said:

If you flip the coin and look at it from the position of another student's parent, it is unfair to the rest of the people attending the graduation. I would like to think that no known sex offenders are allowed on school grounds, despite thier gender or sob story.

Some crimes carry consequences that are inconvenient. Punishment is not meant to be fair or fun. Sex crimes deserve stronger consquences then America provides. The fact that she can even have a case here is ridiculous.

April 3, 2009 12:29 PM
 

Manjari said:

I agree. She shouldn't be allowed on school property.

April 3, 2009 1:26 PM
 

elohveeee12 said:

i see both sides of the situation. On one hand you have a boy who is sick, who has obviously forgiven his mother for what she did. And all he wants is for her to see him graduate. I dont blame him for being upset that they won't let her.

On the other hand she should have to deal with the consequences of her actions. She made a bad decision, and she will have to deal with that decision for the rest of her life. That means not going to see her son graduate, do you let a convicted murderer out of prison to see his son graduate? Of course not, the very idea is ridiculous.

However, this woman did not rape or kill anyone. she had sex with a willing (although underage) participent. I am not saying that it is okay for anyone to have sex with an underage person just because he or she is willing. I am only saying it is not like she is going to jump the first boy who walks past her.

Either way it is a hard choice to make, I am just glad I dont have to. A third choice (other than the obvious two, let her go, or dont let her) is to have her watch it on TV. I know my high school had the graduation ceremony broadcast live on public television (that crappy channel that no one ever watches). Wouldnt it be easier for everyone if she just watched it on there? That way she wouldnt be near the school, and therefore wouldnt be breaking any laws. But she would also get to see her son graduate, and get a better view of it then she would at the actual ceremony anyway.

April 3, 2009 1:35 PM
 

JeanneSager said:

ehloveeee - You voiced one of the things rolling around in my head. "It's not like she is going to jump the first boy who walks past her."

Sex offenders are sick, twisted individuals, no doubt. But I think a lot of us as parents over-react when we hear the word sex offender - we act like they will jump anything that moves. And FORTUNATELY, that's not how it works. Especially not in a very public arena. . . like the middle of a graduation ceremony.

I also agree with you all who say the mom needs to realize the consequences of her actions and punishment is necessary.

I'm just not sure that this is really punishment for her as much as it is for another victim . . . her kid. It's not his fault his mom is a sicko!

April 4, 2009 11:09 PM
 

beri said:

While this wouldn't be quite what the mother was asking for, it would be a decent comprise: Set up a camera to send her the ceremony live. No, the son wouldn't be able to see his mother's face out in the crowd, but at least he could know she was watching...

April 7, 2009 10:17 PM
 

JeanneSager said:

beri - that's a perfect solution, actually. I've covered more than a few high school graduations as a beat reporter where they've done that for parents who are ill and can't be in a room full of people.

April 10, 2009 9:46 AM

About JeanneSager

Jeanne Sager is a writer who lives in upstate New York with her husband, daughter, a dog and too many cats. She refuses to believe motherhood comes with pumpkin appliqued sweaters, and she';s not ready to apologize for having only one child. She writes about raising her kid in her own hometown and the mom stuff she's not embarrassed to own at her blog, Inside Out (http://jeannesager.blogspot.com), she's contributing editor of Grand Magazine, and she's a regular essayist here on Babble

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