Strollerderby

No room for such mix ups if you have a home birth! In my Bradley class, the instructor warned us, should we end up in the hospital, not to let that baby out of mama or daddy's sight. An accidental switch in to a mother's loving arms (even if the wrong mother) is nothing compared to this: www.youtube.com/watch

It couldn't just have been that the parents were grossed out (rightly or wrongly) by having another woman breastfeed their baby?

You say you don't want to jump to calling them racist, but it seems to me that you did just that...

It pings my racism-dar hard as well, especially with them demanding drug tests and HIV and so on.  I suspect that they are, as Kate said, laying the groundwork for a lawsuit and are counting on a racist jury in order to score the big $$$.  A baby handed to another mother for breastfeeding, ZOMG every parent's biggest nightmare!!!  Ridiculous.  Come talk to us parents whose children have severe illnesses or incurable medical problems or, God forbid, we taken and never returned.  They feel "violated, assaulted, scared?"  Please.  More like, they are seeing dollar signs and are all but jumping up and down in anticipation of a payout.

Or you could simply be dealing with a neurotic couple.

I insisted that both of my boys stay in sight of a family member at all times while we were in the hospital after their birth.  Everyone thought I was a little paranoid and it meant me standing for over 30 minutes the day after a c-section to observe my youngest's circ but there was no way I would let them out of sight.  I've heard too many horror stories.  

And yes, I would have demanded tests and been totally freaked out if another woman had nursed either of my boys no matter who they were.

I think you are reading way too much in this

Also... what mom can't tell a baby isn't her own?

Lisa ,you have really made a wonderful point. There was article like this a week or so ago. I didn't want to sound as if I was blaming the victim but I would know my girl anywhere!. From her cry, her smell and on and on I could pick her out. On another note I do have to say that when you have lived with or experience racism it is always a possibility for the negative treatment you are receiving. It may or it may not be racism. But the fact that it may outweighs the may not.That is why prejudice  is such a toxic thing.  I also think that  it is very strange that they use the word “ assaulted” to describe how they feel. I would want tests as well and I may also want to be compensated. But I do think that this couple is expressing themselves  in  a very grandiose and overly exaggerated way that is smelling a lot like pre-reflective gut racism.

I don't think the parent's outrage comes from racism at all. I think the only reason that the race of the father was even highlighted was to make the situation even more profound--if the babies looked that different (and we don't know if they did or didn't) how did no one catch the mistake? I think the outrage stems from the fact that in the minds of the parents, the hospital downplayed the incident. The fact that their baby was given to someone else is a big deal! It shows incompetence on the part of the hospital and is unacceptable. I would be horrified and I would sue the hospital for negligence, too.

The fact that this child was breastfed adds an yet, another layer. I don't care what color the nipple is, if it's not mine it should not be in my child's mouth.

You also forgot to mention that the father of the other couple has a criminal background (rape and assault are just a few) and was recently released from jail. Not that that should matter, but if you're going to bring up race-angle of this article, then you should bring up the entire story.

The real problem is not racism, it's that the hospital made an egregious error.

Oh and one more thing... if this mistake could have gone on long enough for this child to be breastfed, I, as a parent, would be asking how close we had come to my child leaving the hospital with the wrong family.

A-It's true that the actual act of nursing a newborn doesn't take long, but what about all the cushions, making sure you have the right position, waiting until baby is alert and ready to feed, getting baby to actually latch? These things all put together often take more than 5 mins. The baby was probably in the wrong arms for more than 5 minutes.

B-Maybe they're racist.

c-Maybe they're germaphobes

D-Maybe they're just ignorant and afraid that this ex-con father gave the mother something, you know, something "bad" people might get if they are hanging with criminals.

e-maybe they just want to cash in on a weird incident so they're inflating their aginy in the press.

F-All of the above.

Another vote for being freaked out and race not entering into it. Seems like a way to distract from the real issue of the hospital messing up to call the parents racist. Cheap shot imo.

The Father's criminal record enters into the fitness of the mother in monumental ways regardless of their race. Anyone want to bet on the statistics of Hep B and HIV rates among women sleeping with felons as opposed to the general population.

Kate, you want to demonize these parents as racist and it sounds more like your own baggage. The hospital screwed up and it's the parents due diligence to make sure their kid wasn't harmed no matter who's PC agenda it upsets.

You brought up the issue of race and that because the father is black, the other parents believe this mother to be "unclean." And if both parents were white, it would be okay. Pretty big leap to me. I don't think it's okay for another mother to breastfeed my child period. Perhaps that's not very progressive of me, but it is my child and my choice. And perhaps its the same with these parents.

I maintain that race has absolutely nothing to do with this incident at all. If your brand new baby had been handed over freely to perfect strangers against your knowledge, you should be horrified. If you're not horrified then, I'm shocked. Then to find out that the other father (who was present during the incident) has a violent criminal past, well that adds one more layer of fear doesn't it? Second, the biological father maintains that the baby would take a lot longer than five minutes to latch-on with the biological mother (who is a first time mother and I assume is also breastfeeding for the first time), so it sounds very reasonable to me that the five minute window is from the perspective of a nurse scared of losing his/her job, and not based in reality. The mother that was erroneously given the infant also confirms that the infant was with her for a "significant amount of time." Meanwhile, the hospital has not been very forthcoming with the timeframe and waited (according to the parents) an hour before admitting the mistake.

Again, you've chosen to make this story about race. And it isn't. It's every parent's biggest fear that your child is taken from you. In this case, a hospital (community based, not very large), willingly handed over someone else's child, then issued a generic "apology" to protect them from a lawsuit.  

I live in Portsmouth. And I can tell you that the focus has not been about the father's race or even his criminal background. The focus here has been entirely on the failure of our hospital to keep the babies born at that facility safe. To make it about anything else is a bit of a reach.

I'm sorry but making this into a racial thing is the most base thing you could do.

I too would be worried about diseases no matter what the color of the child and parents!

It's just common sense!

You liberals are the most evil people on earth. Please get out of NH soon.

The primary issue is that this type of mix-up keeps happening in hospitals. I also sympathize with the mom being extremely upset that another mother breastfed her child, no matter what the color of the other mother's skin. In absence of the health info of the mother, I'd probably want tests run too.

(Though in light of the father turning over the name of the other father over to the newspaper in order to dig up info on him... I think it was a wise decision for the breastfeeding mother not to turn over her health info.)

I will concur that a child of mixed race may appear very light skinned at birth. Hell, my very dark-skinned niece looked white for about a week after her birth.

As for whether race is playing a part in the "horrified" response of the parents... eh, maybe a little, if only to play up "and our situation is worse and deserving of more sympathy because..." factor.

Mostly though, I'm thinking that people are going to have to start insisting on more secure hospital policies for their newborn babies. If it takes a lawsuit to convince them that maybe they ought to look at something a little more foolproof than numbers on a bracelet, then so be it.

I have to say though, it is interesting reading the responses of people who don't have to deal with race *every* day of their lives telling those that do that *their* perspective is the problem.

Indeed, MistressScorpio.

MistressScorpio...  what makes you think we don't have to deal with race every day?

Maybe there is more to the story than is here, like perhaps the white couple are members of an Aryan organization or something.  However, from what is presented here I couldn't say whether race were a factor or not.  Perhaps they are crunchy granola yuppie types who'd have been just as upset if the temporary parents were ignorant rednecks (I mean what if the Mom ate MEAT!?!).  Also, although a white girl myself (married to a white guy) I have a pretty mixed family (2 mixed-race cousins, 2 Korean cousins, and my SIL is El Salvadoran, none of which is ever an issue at all for our family).  I think racism is one of the ugliest things in this world, but I'd need a little more hint of evidence before I started throwing accusations around.

I'm not sure I understand. Are they suspecting that the mother took drugs during her pregnancy, or do they know this? If they are suspecting it with no other evidence, then I can see the possibility of racism. If this is something they know for a fact, how can they not be outraged? If she took drugs when she was pregnant, who is to say she wasn't taking any while nursing that baby? Also, if she was an IV drug user, it is absolutely acceptable to demand testing.

I absolutely think there is a lot of racism still today. However, do you really think that if the nursing mother was in an all-white relationship that they would be OK with a drug-taking mother nursing their son?

Like someone else said, it is really not that fast nursing a newborn when you add in all the preparation. (For me, each time took forever.)

What a horrible article to write about this couple that experience a nightmare.  How sad and pathetic to make this about race.  

Breast feeding is a very personal and emotional experience.  It has nothing to do with race.  The POINT is that the baby was given to the wrong mother.  The parents of the baby have every right to be upset.  If this mixup happened with a black couple and the mother that breast fed was white, I sure hope they would be just as upset.

My worst nightmare as a new parent after a dead baby was someone  else getting my baby.  Yes, it would have made me physically ill even if it had been my best friend.

As both a mother and a nurse I see two sides to this issue. First, the dad is seeing $$$. Plain and simple. What about the days of wet nurses? People PAID other women to breastfeed their babys. And every parent knows their child will put far worse things in their mouths throughout a lifetime. This really could have been FAR worse.  

As for the nurses error, I don't understand how it happened, there are several steps to check before administering medication, handing off babys, etc.  But, I do know that most nurses go to work every day with the intentions of helping people. Noone sets out in the morning to make an error, and believe it or not, the nurse is usually the person who feels the worst when she does make a mistake. Accidents happen to every one everyday, but when it is a nurse, it may affect a life. That is why we are trained as we are. I'd love to see laypeople try it!

I am not trying to belittle how this couple feels, but I wish people were a little more understanding of what it is really like to be a nurse.  It is a very sad day when nurses are afraid to help people because they "might make a mistake" and be sued over good intentions.

Kate, give us all a break.  I'm disgusted by you now.  I know it doesn't fit into your "I'm progressiver than thou" worldview, but many, many mothers out there would be viscerally horrified by the prospect of another woman breastfeeding her child, and even more horrified by the prospect--however tiny--that any disease could have passed to their newborn.  

You owe this couple an apology.  

A hundred years ago, it was not uncommon, if a woman could not nurse her own child, that the child would be "wet-nursed" - another woman would nurse the child. It doesn't seem like that bad a thing, especially for only 5 minutes.

Regardless of the race issue (which we really have no way of proving or disproving) why would the couple sue? What are their actual damages (assuming the mother does not pass a disease to their baby)? This is just one more nuerotic litigious couple overeacting.  Yes, it would be a stressful, even downright horrific situation (your baby and you are at your most vulnerable physically and emotionally during that time window), but I would not try to sue the hospital. Every time something distressing happens in this country, we sue.  It's part of why healthcare is so outrageously expensive.

Hmmm. I'm the white mother of a biracial child, and I would have been absolutely horrified if the hospital had given her to someone else, and even more horrified if that someone else had nursed her. Knowing nothing about this case, I can't say whether racism was involved or not, but I CAN say that I would have been very upset in the same situation. I don't think that racism is necessary to evoke such a reaction.

(And my biracial baby didn't look white at all when she was born. I actually wondered if she was mine at first. Not really relevant, but these things do vary.)

(And some newborns can nurse for 45 minutes or more. Mine did.)

And wet nurses were common 100 years ago, but now almost everybody that can't nurse uses formula instead. Our culture has changed, so is it really surprising that our reaction to nursing by a non-mother has changed too?

There are a lot of assumptions being made here.