In a bizarre, sad case out of Tampa, police say that a father of three kids, aged eight, nine and ten, physically abused them to teach them a lesson for various infractions, including finding his hidden porn stash. (As one of my colleagues points out, isn't finding your father's porn punishment in itself?) In addition to beating his children, Moslim Al-Assadi is accused of holding his daughter's head under water as she struggled to breathe.
Local police have long known about the family, but their ability to respond was hampered by conflicting stories told by the children themselves, who have shown a pattern familiar to psychologists but frustrating for law enforcement: as frightened and scarred as they are by the abuse, the children defend their father.
From the St. Petersburg Times:
Deputies went to Oak Grove Elementary School to interview the
children, who again spoke of spankings, slappings and the oldest
daughter's submersion.
"She said that she recalls telling someone about this before
but told them she was lying because she (did) not want her father taken
away," police wrote. "She said she knows what he did was wrong. He told
her he loved her no matter what she did."
Such protection by children, even in the face of abuse, isn't uncommon, said one psychologist.
"Children who have experienced abuse have a heightened need for
the comfort and security" that parents can provide, said Lauren Fasig,
the director of research at the University of Florida's Fredric G.
Levin College of Law Center on Children and Families. "This need may
outweigh the perceived threat."
It's not surprising that these three children would lie to protect their father -- their mother, Arlene Heintzelman, with whom they have only supervised visits, has also been accused of neglect, including an instance in which two of the kids fell from a second-story window. Left to navigate life without even one stable, caring parent, they are clearly doing the best they can. Let's hope the authorities are able to help them find the peace, security and love they deserve.
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