Women obviously suffer from the more severe hormonal changes after their children are born. But that doesn't mean dads are immune to postpartum depression.
According to this story from Newsweek, plenty of men experience the baby blues even if we don't always recognize it as such. Dr. Will Courtenay, a psychotherapist quoted extensively in the article, says that some studies indicate that as many as one in four new fathers wind up with PPD.
Honestly, this probably isn't a huge surprise to anyone. Having a child causes tectonic shifts in the ground beneath anyone's feet, regardless of their gender. The sleeplessness, the additional demands on our time, the sense that we're not living up to our spouse's or partner's expectations -- it can cause anyone to break, as father and one-time PPD sufferer Joel Schwartzberg writes in this essay, also in Newsweek.
The symptons he describes -- sadness, lack of communication with his spouse, a desire to flee from the situation -- are emotions I am sure many of us have felt at one point or another. In case there was any doubt, I think it's perfectly legitimate for guys to feel this way and to call it PPD.
What strikes me as a little strange, though, is this comment from Dr. Courtenay, in response to a reporter's question about whether postpartum depression manifests itself differently in men than in women. "When we think of a depressed person, we usually picture someone who's
sad and crying," he says. "But if we picture instead a guy who's working 60 hours
a week, is a little short-tempered, drinks a couple of beers at lunch,
slips out of the office to have an affair, then speeds home to his
wife, that's not what we picture when we think of depression, but those
are some of the signs of men's depression, which can often look
different."
Drinking on the job? Leaving the office to have an affair? That sounds a little extreme and perhaps like evidence of even more complex problems, doesn't it? I realize men and women are different -- I learned this primarily from years of hilarious stand-up comedy routines --and that the issues they confront as new parents vary in many ways, but I suspect that the feelings they struggle with have more in common than that statement suggests. Based on Schwartzberg's essay, which really resonated with me even though my chromosomes are definitely of the XX variety, that certainly seems true.
But you tell me. Are you a dad who has suffered from PPD, or do you suspect your husband/partner may have? What were the symptoms that reared their heads? And what advice can you offer to other parents in the same challenging situation?
Image: guardian.co.uk
