Strollerderby

Amen to that! We teach our sons it's okay (crunchy socks easily accepted) but we teach our daughters to be ashamed. I think we should address this topic w/ our daughter (my mom did me, and I'm not a sex fiend, whore, etc. and actually waited until well into my 20s to engage in sex). I think there's a lot to this, and I'm glad that the issue is raised.

To be honest, this challenges my sensibilities and I will have to think on it. (And I used to sell sex toys for a living!) I think it's important for a girl to understand her own body, but I think it is possible to teach her the proper understanding and respect for her body while respecting the boundaries of her sexuality.

There are other ways to help your daughter know and respect her body. I do think that it is our job as parents to teach our children about healthy body image and healthy sexuality. I also think that it is our job to create an environment in which self pleasure is viewed as a normal and private act. But providing my child with a vibrator or any other sex toy feels icky and boundary crossing to me.

"I think it is possible to teach her the proper understanding and respect for her body while respecting the boundaries of her sexuality."

ITA.  And not to mention the boundaries of her dignity!  I would have been utterly humiliated if my parents had bought me a sex toy.

Yeah, that is one crazy picture of Oprah!

Is it undignified to own a vibrator?

I think if more women understood what brings them sexual pleasure they might spend less time trying to please men and more time asking for what they want and need. Young women should spend time exploring their bodies and finding what brings them pleasure. I agree with Dr. Berman!

Did I say it was undignified to own a vibrator?  What I SAID was that I would have been humiliated to be presented one by my parents as a teen.  

This sounds like a good idea in theory, but the execution of it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I would need to work out a script beforehand. Good vibrators can be pretty expensive too, so I feel like that would have to be a gift for a special occasion. I wonder if I could just give her the money and tell her to go get it herself. Thankfully, I have a long stretch of time before I have to worry about this.

MomofBeans, it would not be very exspensive because they are not suggesting a penetrating toy just a bullet that vibrates.  E I totally agree with everything you said!  Girls should know there own bodies just as well as a boy.  

I totally agree with Dr Berman.  I do not understand how we know that when our 14 year old sons are in the bathroom for an hour with the sears catalogue it's fine, but hells no, a girl shouldn't touch herself "downthere".  

I know most of my friends didn't sit around with a mirror and check our stuff out.  Not until we were all pregnant and stunned at the distortion ;)

I also agree with her assertion that if we teach our girls to pleasure themselves they won't depend on guys to do it for them.  I see no harm whatsoever in buying your daughter a little bullet type toy, and I don't think in most cases giving her the money would be good enough.  Don't most stores say no minors?  

Of course, all of what I said and believe is probably moot since I have no daughters, only two boys with another on the way.  Just wondering when I get my two hours of How to Talk to Your Sons About Sex???

"Honey, I think it's time we bought you a vibrator. Now would you prefer the Man O' War or the Vibrating Bullet??"

I would say buying your daughter a vibrator is akin to teaching your son what grip works best for masturbation. It's all about personal preferences, the operative word being *personal*.

There's a big difference between discouraging our daughters from masturbating and handing them a vibrator.  I'm not even sure a vibrator is the best way, initially, for them to better understand their body.  

Give the girls some credit, too.   Why do we assume the boys can get on with things but the girls need careful guidance in learning about their bodies?  If we create a healthy, open attitude towards sexuality, that is probably all a curious girl needs.