They might be terror on the high seas, but that doesn't make them smart. A group of pirates mistook a French military ship for a commercial vessel and attacked. (The CNN story actually uses the word "oops.") The French Navy captured 11 of the scalywags. Despite the fact that these stories are in no way amusing, I'm finding it difficult not to make bad pirate jokes. Avast, me hearties! That sort of thing. I know it's wrong but I'm still getting used to the idea of modern-day pirates. I'll get there eventually.
Amazon may release a new Kindle with a larger screen. This could be good news for newspapers who seem to be losing more money every single day. As Jeanne points out, they could also be used for textbooks. Would you read on a screen if it were big enough? I think the barrier is price. The current Kindle is priced at $359, which is much less than it used to be, but still kind of expensive for mainstream use.
The S&P 500 "jumped", moving into positive territory for the year. Not to be an eternal pessimist, but it's only May. Don't get me wrong. I'll take whatever positive news I can get about the stock market. But I think I'll keep the champagne on ice for a few more months, you know what I mean?
Speaking of money, President Obama wants to collect more tax revenue from money that is being kept in offshore accounts. I've never understood how this is legal. Don't you have to pay taxes where you earn the money, not where you keep it? And if a company does business in another country, but they're based in the United States, shouldn't they pay U.S. taxes? As you can see, I don't know the answer to these questions. Maybe the flat tax is a good idea. Wait, forget I said that.
Oh, the virus formerly known as swine flu? We're not scared anymore. But it could come back with a vengeance. But don't panic. Just keep washing your hands. A lot. Got that?
Take that, Apple! The Blackberry Curve is outselling the iPhone. Maybe. But the people with iPhones are sooo much cooler. Just ask them. (No offense meant if you have an iPhone and like or even love it. It's just that Apple fanatics can be fairly annoying, as this NSFW page deftly illustrates - click to read it, but I warned you.)
Remember Mitt Romney? Ran for President? Supported gay marriage until he didn't? He, sadly, does not seem to have gone away. He also gave a little dig to Sarah Palin, at least according to the Boston Globe. When asked about Sarah Palin being on Time Magazine's list of "The World’s Most Influential People", Romney said, "I think there are a lot more influential Republicans than that would suggest. But was that the issue on the most beautiful people or the most influential people? I'm not sure. If it's the most beautiful, I understand. We're not real cute." Which I suppose was meant to imply that Palin is getting by on her looks. Or something. The Globe points out that Romney, despite saying that he doesn't think of himself as "cute", "was on People magazine's list of 50 beautiful Americans in 2002." This is why I don't like him. He seems not to care at all if what he's saying is true. As a commenter at Boston.com puts it: "Multiple choice Mitt, pull his string and he'll tell you just what you want to hear."
And finally, something that I know we've all been very concerned about lately. Janet Jackson's breast. The Supreme Court told an appeals court to reconsider their ruling on "Nipplegate", meaning that CBS may have to pay a $550,000 fine after all. Well, thank goodness. I thought those criminals were going to get off scot-free. We cannot expose our children to such filth! Especially not during the Super Bowl. They need more time to show ads for beer and Viagra.
Image: Amazon
