Ah, Mother’s Day. How can a
gift sum up the infinite gratitude we feel towards our mothers and the mothers
of our children? Well, here are some ways not to...
1.The Really For You Gift
Surely she’ll come around to the genius of these (expensive) gadgets.
Presto 03430 Pizza Oven,
$41.99 at Amazon
ShredderShark™ Paper Shredder with Wastebasket, $99.99 at Bed, Bath and Beyond
2.The 'Just A Suggestion' Gift
Because
sometimes the sink looks like it’s going to overflow.
Kitchen Commandment Tea Towels from Kitchen Critic, Tea Towels, £9.50
Sponges, by Reed Seifer, available at Supermarket, $8.00 for both
3. And its ugly twin brother, The Appearance Insinuation Gift
You paid a little too close
attention with this one.
The Youth As We Know It Facial™, Bliss Spas, $185
“The result of our first ten
years of ‘saving’ face, this treatment targets all those pesky arbiters of
facial aging—tone, elasticity, volume, fine lines and wrinkles—all the way to
your décolleté."
4. The Creepy Joke Gift
“Now we can reenact the
shower scene from Psycho!”
Evidence Chef's Knife, $14.99, Perpetual Kid
5. The Last Minute Drugstore Gift (Unconvincingly Dressed as 'The Cute Gift')
You grabbed these after the
Hallmark aisle alerted you of the special day you’d forgotten.
Black Forest Gummy Bears, $1.49 at Walgreens
Angels of Inspiration Ornament Pewter Keepsake Angel of Spring, $2.49 at CVS
6. The Completely Un-glamorous, Practical Gift
So useful it hurts.
Costco Wholesale, Gold Star Membership,
$50, shipping and handling included
7. The Passive Aggressive Gift
One way to let the diva know
she can scratch her own royal back.
Diva Darling Spa Therapy Independent Back Scrubber, $6.79 at CVS
And if it’s just getting to
be too much, turn to YouTube; comedian John Roberts' Mother's Day spoof will get you back on hold with 1-800-Flowers in no time.
