Strollerderby

It is HER choice and HER child.  So long as she isn't in everyone's face stating that her way is the only way, its her business and nobody else's!  

(Hence the issue with this particular battle in the bigger Mommy War - its your choice and your child, and you should be allowed to make your choice!)

It is certainly her choice, but it is a pretty silly reason to not breastfeed.  How many men will see a woman breastfeeding and find her less attractive?  My husband currently makes jokes about wanting to eventually try the milk.  We both agree that my boobs are ridiculously big right now (he complained they are currently too big to comfortably use as a pillow).

This reasoning certainly should not be perpetuated.  Why did she even feel the need to go out and say that in the first place?  I would feel embarressed to say that I was not doing something that would benefit my kid because I thought it would make me less sexy.  Mommies are totally sexy.  Check out how many guys on cragslist are into that (maybe not the best example though).

It's her body. It's her business.

It's both her choice and a sign of problematic thinking. She's free to use her boobs, or not, but the idea that motherhood renders one's body, in whole or in part, sexless, is an idea that needs to die.

I totally agree with CV.  It is her choice.  If that is how she views her breasts and she doesn't want to breast feed, it's really no one else's business.  As long as she loves and cares for her child and that child is taking in nourishment one way or the other, that's all that matters.  If the next mother sees her breast as more utilitarian, and wants to nurse her children until they are two, then cool.  And so are all the variations in between.  Your body, your child, your choice.

My concern here is that younger women may only see their breasts as only sexual, as may younger men, due to the media's depictions of the female body.  It also points up the fact that women are "supposed" to have a certain shape in  order to be seen as sexually appealing, and that that is somehow more important that giving your child the best nutrition.  Geez.  The breast is there to nourish children.  How sad is it that this is influencing decisions about a child's health...  

While I support this woman's choice to raise her child as she sees fit... why is it that criticizing someone's choice as foolhardy, shortsighted, and kind of depressing is seen as synonymous with restricting her choices? People have the right to do as they please, and everyone else has the right to critique their choices, so long as no one's actual actions are restricted.

The notion that no woman has the right to criticize another woman's choices is baffling. Is this what you guys think "pro-choice" means? 'cause last I heard, that was just about abortion, not every silly thing a woman feels compelled to do.

Completely agree with you, Bunny. Excellent reply.

Bunny, I said its nobody's business but hers simply because it is.  I am sick to death of bottle-bangers (not everyone who feeds formula is, nor is every breastfeeder a lactivist) in my face telling me that I should feed my baby in the bathroom when I'm in public, give him a bottle, or stay the he!! home, and telling me that I am disgusting for not feeding my baby formula.  I am discreet about feeding, covered with a blanket or a shawl, off in a corner; I just want to be left alone with my choice of how I feed my child.  

You can have an opinion, you can express it, but you cannot make the mother do as you please.  

I won't tell her what to do; she has her right to her opinion and her choices in raising her child. Just as I have my right to say she is making a stupid decision that is not in her child's best interest. If she is too sensitive to be judged, she should have kept quiet. Something tells me though that her clearly self-involved mind will not care what any of us think.

Erin, I think that's the point.  What right do we have to tell her she's making a stupid decision?  We are not her.  Breastfeeding is frankly not that vital an action.  Is it more important than a mother's well-being and happiness?  I sure hope not since I stopped after two weeks because it was just too much for me mentally.  I figured my needs were important as well.  Perhaps it is my clearly self-involved mind, but I think that it was better for my baby to have a mother that could tolerate being around her than for me to continue something that was just not working out for a number of reasons.  

It's unacceptable to me that society and other women feel that they can judge mothers like this.  Why should anyone, supermodel or not, feel they have to justify how they feed their baby?  Breast, bottle, pump, what have you, it's just not appropriate.

Samantha - I think you're conflating two issues here. On the one hand, YES, I absolutely agree that there's too much pressure on mothers to do mothering the way someone else thinks they should - bottle, breast, work, stay at home, etc.

On the other hand, I still choke on the notion that every "choice" a woman makes is as valid as every other, especially when issues of beauty and sexuality come up, and especially when these "choices" are coerced by the way our culture views female sexuality. More disturbing here than her refusal to breastfeed is her reason for doing so - and that reason bears discussing, because it strongly implies that a breastfeeding breast, and by extension, a mother's breast, isn't sexy. It's a deeper issue than breast/bottle here.

Bunny, I completely agree with you. This is not simply an issue of breast vs. bottle. I truly feel sorry for mothers that cannot, for whatever reason, breastfeed their children. However, this woman did not and will not give it a try. That, to me, is extremely irresponsible parenting. It's no different than requesting a c-section for no reason other than to keep your vagina in pre-pregnancy shape.