Strollerderby

I had my children at age 29 and 30.

I don't have any guarantee that I'm going to live to see them into adulthood, either.  It's no one's business but hers.

But Amy, you are more likely than her to see your kids grow up.  Only one of my grandparents made it past their seventy fifth birthday.

With her advanced age, her child is susceptible to many more problems than you were.  Personally, I am not even big on the idea of IVF being used for women in their forties.  Their is a reason why the human body has trouble with making babies naturally after a certain age.

If she wanted a child, why did she not take the nearly $15,000 and become a foster mother or adopt a child?  Frankly, I think what she has done is quite selfish.  Who will take care of her child when she is ill or dead?  

Just because science can do something does not mean it should be done and available to whoever has the money for it.

I'm not sure how I feel about this, but Shana, I wanted to point out that adoption and foster care processes (at least in the U.S) are very rigorous. I'm not sure that a single 66 year old woman would be able to easily adopt or foster a child. Also, even if she could adopt or take in foster children. that doesn't change the fact that if she dies, children are left alone in the world.

It's a pet peeve of mine when people who disagree with fertility treatments say others should adopt. It's just not that easy.  

gross.

I do realize that adoption is not easy in any way.  But I do think that there would have to be some better alternative than this woman deciding that at sixty six she deserved to have a baby of her own.

Anna, I really do see your point but I have to agree with Shana here. There are so many foster children needing a loving parent, and even if the children have to go to another foster home they will always remember the care and love this woman had shown them. If you think about it, a birth child would probably feel much more cheated by his mother's death, because she chose to have him (her) while knowing she could very well not live to see him grown.

However, we will see more and more of this as science progresses. I had my last baby at 43 (naturally) and completely understand why the body is unable to conceive much later than that.

I believe that a couple in the UK was rejected as adoptive parents last year because they were fat, and therefore not considered healthy enough to adopt.  There is no way a single, 66-year-old woman would have been allowed to adopt in the UK.  I'm also of the opinion that it's her business.  I mean, yeah, if she is a good parent, she will make her health a priority and have a will in place.  But then those things are true of any parent.  Also, perhaps she has extended family, so maybe the child will not be totally alone in the world should she suddenly not be there.

I'd want to hear exactly what was motivating her other than the obvious maternal urge that strikes many (most?) women.  I hazard to guess we all know a large handful of women in their 50s and older who just never had the opportunity to reproduce and have dealt with this in whatever manner best suited... There are the "never wanted any" women and the "everyone's aunt" women and the "super volunteer/saint-like" women and the occasional "bitter/sad" woman (though I only know one of these in my wide circle of friends and acquaintances.)  So what inspires a woman who might've been any of those to bite the bullet and go thru the burden of pregnancy, labor and delivery at sixty-six?  I am rather fascinated by what makes these women tick.  I am so damn tired some days and I'm forty (my oldest is eleven.)  I hope to have a small flock of grandkids when I'm 66.  Good luck to all!

Let me pose a similar question:

Your decision to drive a vehicle affects my life as a pedestrian.  Are you sure it's right for you to take such a liberty with my life?  

The answer is that you are free to do so because the truth is that in this modern society we all have the liberty to chose our own lives and that luxury is understood to come with the reality that we all affect one another with our choices in some form or fashion.  For good or for ill, it is the price paid for Freedom for ALL.

My point, really, is that this woman's choice and speculating on the future of that child are SO not your place to judge, even by posing the question.  Doing so is really an exercise in a debate about whether you think she should be "permitted" to pursue happiness.  Shocking to me that this question is posed at all.  In America, no less.

And Marital Status?  Seriously?  Last time I checked, people were leaving their spouses with at least a 50/50 clip.  Serially, in some cases.  How do you know that she won't GET married before YOU get dumped?  Whether her prospects measure up to your preferred level or not, it's simply elitism to think you have a say, of any kind, in the matter.  

I don't know, maybe you do think some people are fodder to discuss whether they should be allowed to reproduce because they don't meet an acceptable stature that you've been blessed with, or achieved from your own efforts, or were just so damn lucky to have.  

If only remedial Logic and Ethics classes were as available to everyone in this country as the many palaces of Faith, there might be an outpouring of still greater humanity to solve such questions about how to interact justly with one another in a complex world.

Back in the age of dinosaurs, when I was a kid, we used to entertain ourselves by reading things other than the internet. One of the books that fascinated my friends and me was the Guinness Book of World Records. I still remember reading about the oldest woman ever to give birth in that pre-IVF age. She was 57.

So it's not true that women in their 40's or even 50's can't have kids. It's a lot less common for women those ages to conceive naturally, but it can and does sometimes happen. When it happened "naturally," we used to call it a miracle and congratulate the mother, not judge her. And really, from the child's perspective, what difference does it make how it happened?

I can't imagine a set of circumstances that would lead me to attempt conception at 66 (by any means), but it is very hard for me to judge this woman, not knowing more about her circumstances (which are none of my business). I just hope that she has a long healthy life, and that she is able to give her child the love, care, and support that child needs.

Shana - you don't know that Amy is more likely to see her kids grow up. I have Type I diabetes, for almost 30 years.  That means, if I have a kid next year, I might not see him get to be 20.  You can't know someone's likelihood of survival.  Period.  And you certainly can't know by looking at them.  People don't excoriate the cancer survivor who delays treatment to have a child, though this will almost certainly kill her - they celebrate her.

What another woman chooses to do with regards to her life, and especially her body or pregnancy is none of anyone's goddamned business.  She didn't "bring the questions on herself", Jeanne - and shame on you for that one.  I usually really admire what you write.  But that was a medical decision, here in the U.S. protectable by HIPAA. It's clear that she didn't ask for fame - this isn't a Nadya Suleman.  She tried to keep this quiet, she was found out, exposed and hounded.  She did not at all bring this on herself - other people brought it on her. And now what she asks is to be left alone.

This is wounderful,for someone at the sisty six to be expecting a baby,show that God Almighty Allah can do any thing to let unbeleivers beleive that he is the one true God who is responsible to control once destiny.Pray that the God lord protect and take control of our dear sister and the unborn child.

God had nothing to do with it. Science all the way baby! Science all the way.

To Babbleman:  AMEN!  You said it! To Alimamy Idriss Sesay:  Thanks for the breath of non-judgemental fresh air!