I was so prepared to hate "The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much?" by Leslie Bennetts. My initial reaction when hearing about it was, "Oh, another book bashing my choice as a stay-at-home mom, which has been my life for the past twelve years. How dare they! I'm so darn sick of these Mommy Wars!" Although I still have yet to read the book, I've read about it, including this insightful post by Amy Tiemann up at MojoMom, and I have to say that based on the past year I've had I think that Leslie Bennetts, not to mention Amy Tiemann, has a point. Or several.
I never thought for most of those twelve years that I'd one day be in the throes of a divorce which included contentious custody, support, and property division disputes, lasting almost two years now. Had I been able to foresee this possibility, or any devastating event, I might have planned ahead. Or at least known more about financial matters. (And even if you think you'll be married forever, you never know when something catastrophic might happen.)
Although I loved my time at home with my children and don't regret for a minute that choice (and I'm loving the fact as well that they're growing up and needing me less and I'm taking back my life), and I'm thankful that I can still be at home (while working), not everyone has the luxury of either of these choices. Instead of judging one another, something I have been guilty of myself, let's as parents respect each other's choices, because you can't see what's underneath and what circumstances led to another's situation.
What about you? Do you have an economic contingency plan? Do you agree that women, especially stay-at-home moms, as a group have allowed themselves to become disenfranchised as The Feminine Mistake" suggests?
