Having lived in NYC for most of my life, I've met my fair share of celebrities. However, I'm fairly jaded and non-plussed about meeting "famous" people in real life. Who really gives a crap? For the most part, many of the celebrities I've met have either been fairly boring or didn't really have much to say.
So, needless to say, the current adulation being bestowed on celebrities tends to drive me a little nuts. Who cares what they do in their free time? Who cares that they're wearing? Who cares about photos of their baby? Definitely not me. But don't get me wrong. I'm not a hater. If people want to spend their free time by feeding their obsessions with famous people, more power to them. Because personally? Nothing brings out my inner schadenfreude and gives me vicarious pleasure like a good old-fashioned celebrity scandal.
And who better to kick off my Monday than America's most notorious anti-Semite, Mel Gibson?
According to this story, a 29-year old Australian woman is taking legal action to force Mel Gibson to take a paternity test to confirm that she is his secret love-child. Says Carmel Sloane, "I'm not doing it for his money. I just want to meet the man I've always known was my dad - and for him to get to know his grandson. I'd love it if he recognised us as family. I'm not looking for a meal ticket. I am happy with my life."
The best part of the story is the chronicle of the one-night stand that produced Ms. Sloane. I won't reveal all the details but it involves Mel picking up a 17-year old hitchiker, hiding her under a blanket, having sex with her on a mattress in the back of his mom's station wagon, and then leaving early in the morning to make to his job at an orange juice factory!
Oh please, God! If you have any sense of humor whatsoever, please let the paternity test reveal that Mel's daughter is Jewish!
