Alarming men - and women - everywhere, who are counting on that vasectomy to actually work, is the story of Teresa, a wild-born chimpanzee living out her golden years at a chimp sanctuary in Shreveport, LA. Teresa, who is in her 40's, just delivered a healthy baby girl, named Tracy, despite the fact that all her male companions at the sanctuary have had vasectomies.
Managers at Chimp Haven noticed that Teresa was missing when they made their morning rounds one day last week, and said that when she reappeared that afternoon, she was holding a baby in her arms. Workers are collecting hair samples from all male chimps to determine who Teresa's baby daddy is, and when they find him, it will be Snip-Snip: The Sequel.
Teresa had ten other babies before retiring Chimp Haven - Teresa makes eleven. Damn. He said he was fixed, girl, but how can you really be sure? The bastard. And has he been comin' around since you had that baby? No. He's just sittin' over there with his chimp buddies, scratching his ass and bragging.
The balls on that guy!