The New York Times covers the no-gift birthday party 'trend'. Increasingly parents are asking guests to forgo gifts and instead donate to a specific charity. The trend is part philanthropy and part a defense against the clutter a large birthday party can bring. Judith Martin, Miss Manners, says the idea is ridiculous, “People seem to forget that you can’t spend other people’s money, even for a good cause.” She suggests it's better to get parents together and decide on small gifts to keep the idea of the child's birthday party in mind.
Hey, great idea Miss Manners, that way my kid can have 40 small pieces of clutter I have to find storage for. 40 small things they'll likely tire of in a week. Not to mention the gifts they'll get from well meaning aunts, uncles and grandparents. We have video from my daughter's second birthday party, she's opening a mountain of gifts from family and after about 10 items she breaks down into sobs, totally overwhelmed.
At some point, for a lot of kids, enough is enough. They end up in a feeding frenzy where they can't really appreciate the gift or the sentiment behind it, that's something I want to avoid. I get a sick to my stomach feeling when my kids have 20 gifts to open at once, I agree with Miss Manners in that you can't decide how people spend their money but I see nothing wrong with politely declining gifts at birthday parties. I know my kids have plenty of opportunities to experience the joy of gift opening, they don't need to be beaten over the head with the 'joy'.
