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• Parenting in Gendered World

  There's a great thread over at Womanist Musings about the ongoing challenge of teaching our kids to be openminded about gender, especially when they are in school and experiencing both a bombardment of "this is what girls do; this is what boys do" and also watching peers tease/label/ostracize non-gender-conforming kids. Read More... Posted Mar 14 2009, 04:00 PM by Miriam Axel-Lute with | with no comments Filed under: gender, princesses, transgender, stereotypes, values, dress up, boys and girls, Axel-Lute, teaching values, girl/boy

• What defines a girl or a boy?

  Writing about transgendered kids is tough. If you believe sex is biologically set by chromosomes and organs, then even considering the whole notion is silly. If you believe that gender identity is entirely socially constructed, it's hard to understand why some kids raised in households without rigid gender roles—boys allowed to dress up and not like sports, etc.—still develop passionate, intense desires to be the other gender. (Me, I'm thinking hormones. Pesky things.) The stories in the recent article on transgendered kids in the Minneapolis CityPages should certainly give pause to anyone who thinks these kids are having passing phases that their parents could easily deflect. But as whenever we talk about what it means to "feel" like one gender or the other, the article ends up giving credence to conventional gender stereotypes and binaries along the way. Read More... Posted Mar 11 2009, 08:30 AM by Miriam Axel-Lute with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: gender, transgender, puberty, stereotypes, dress up, boys and girls, gender identity disorder, Axel-Lute

• When Your Girl Is a Boy (Or Vice Versa)

  We've all known (or been) boys obsessed with princesses and makeup or tomboys who would rather wipe an axle with a dress than wear it. Most of us who were raised with Free to Be You and Me and feminist moms (and even a bunch of us who weren't) go out of our way to let our non-gender-stereotype conforming kids explore whatever interests they want and express themselves as they see fit. This is hard enough, given other parents' need to constantly harp on about what boys and girls do and like in front of our kids (something I've ranted about here). But what about when it's not enough? Read More... Posted Sep 21 2008, 07:15 PM by Miriam Axel-Lute with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: gender, transgender, puberty, stereotypes, dress up, boys and girls, gender identity disorder

• It's a Boy! (Sigh.)

  All genderness being equal, newborn boys bring their mamas down. This was the conclusion of a study done in a French community where it was deemed no cultural preferences for boys or girls existed.  Researchers found nearly a third of the moms who had newborn boys between 4 and 8 weeks old were also suffering post-partum depression and a reduced quality of life. Of the 9 percent who had severe post-partum depression, 75 percent of them had given birth to boys.   Read More... Posted Feb 15 2008, 09:28 AM by Madeline Holler with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: depression, gender differences, gender preference, post-partum depression, boys and girls, mothers of boys

• Mom and Dad Are Arguing About Girls and Boys

  You know we Derby queens love DadCentric, we really do. We totally have a hard-on for those guys. But like all good relationships, there are times when we don't see eye-to-eye and have to respectfully disagree. A recent advice post was one of those occasions when we say "tomato" and the DadC's say "tomahto," and I think we all know what the correct pronounciation is here. Anyhow, a reader wrote in and asked if her son's seeming lack of empathy and frequent unprovoked head-butting was just a case of "boys will be boys." Dad Jason responded that boys are kinda like that, and, "Girls, from what I've seen of my friends' female kids, are decidedly more genteel... boys, in my experience, like to run into walls and talk about bodily functions. This does not end at 3, or 5, or 38." Ahem. I'm raising a girl, and I know she's a girl because... Read More... Posted Jan 15 2008, 06:23 PM by Kelly Mills with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: girls, Dadcentric, sex after kids, gender differences, bodily functions, social conditioning, poop jokes, bathroom, empathy, boys and girls, nature versus nurture