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  • Old Mom, Poor Mom, Young Mom, Rich Mom

     

    For those whose first child was a matter of planning rather than a matter of surprise, what most influenced that plan? How much did your career -- or lack thereof -- push the decision? Or was it a choice pushed by your biological clock?

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  • The Calculus of Family Planning: Sometimes Real Young is Real Good

    Once in a while, usually in moments of work vs. family crisis, I think it would have been smarter to have gotten pregnant at 18. I know, I know. But think about it -- college subsidized daycare, something to keep you home at night, grade school by the time you're ready to work full time professionally.

    Of course, the 20-year-old version of me would have, in no way, been a suitable mother. I'm thinking a mix of Britney and Denise Richards with the McCanns thrown in for high drama. But, you know, logistics. I’m talking logistics. Becoming a mother in my early 30s instead, with few daycare options, long commutes, lots of overnight travel, forced me to make some career compromises. Yet, had I waited, who knows how well my ovaries would have held up.

    Shouldn’t there be a way to calculate all this? Well … there is! Kind of.

     

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  • Night Owl Kids Are Suffering

    sleepyOh, we working parents are so mean and selfish. It turns out that many folks who get home from work late are pushing back their children's bedtimes so they can spend time with them. While this story is tied to New York, it's a phenomenon I've seen here on the other coast as well. There's mention of a couple parents who don't get home till 8 p.m. and keep the kids up till 9 or even 10. And of course, we've documented that lack of sleep in kids has been linked to behavioral problems, obesity, hyperactivity, cognitive issues, and we'll probably find out soon it's responsible for global warming and lead in toys as well. Sigh.

    The advice from the expert...

     

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  • Career. Kids. Catsuits. In That Order.

    Now that Lil E's third birthday is quickly approaching and nearly every woman I know is pregnant or swaddling a brand new baby, the question about whether we are having more children has been coming up more and more often. We are in those limbo years between Oh My God! Another Baby? Already? Two in Diapers? Already? and If You're Going to Have More, You'd Better Get On It, Sister. My womb has sufficiently healed (See? I'm not as bitter as some folks think!) and I'm over a year out from weaning. And while my body's been doing all this recovering, so has my career. I am left with a strange and confusing combination of ovaries doing little flips when I see those new babies and a career swelling, filling me up and easing the financial worries we've had since the prenatal bills started rolling in. So what to do? Just go for it or just give it more time? And can I keep up with all my jobs with a new baby in a sling and a toddler wailing all the way to daycare?

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  • The Most Important Job Also Prepares You For Paying Work

    working momWe all know motherhood is highly underpaid, and the job can be thankless. However, you can turn some of that trench time into a resume-builder for a more lucrative career. This article points out that motherhood gives you some marketable skills for use in the workplace. Problem-solving, negotiation skills, patience, compassion are all on the list. My favorite one, however, is time-management: someone once told me that moms and dads are the most efficient workers, because we're used to having to complete a day-long project in less than fifteen minutes, before the kid wakes up from the nap or finally figures out how to un-childproof the electrical outlets.

    I could add a few more skills to this list as well. Many moms I know are adept at prioritizing, assessing a situation in thirty seconds to decide which child's current activity is actually the most life-threatening and following through with lightening reflexes. Ability to focus despite a chaotic environment should probably be on there as well: could a non-parent type four e-mails over the din of an annoying kids show, loud wailing, and the toy jackhammer left on in a corner? Remaining calm is just as helpful for the day when the evil boss demands those reports a week early as it is for when your child reveals he has put "something big" up his nose. And every great parent I know has a very well-developed sense of humor, which should also be a hiring requirement at any good job.

    I hope for Mother's Day all the moms out there get at least a couple hours to themselves, because everyone needs a little vacation sometimes, especially when your boss is demanding and mercurial, and the hours are as long as they come. And just a tip: while we are happy to work for kisses and sweet watercolor paintings that say "I love you mommy," don't list that as your last salary in your job hunt.


  • Working at Home and Making It Work

    Last month, I decided I was done with the heavy lifting. I was done moving my laptop from the dining room table to the bedroom to wherever I could...ummm, borrow wireless. I decided it was time to chuck the fantasy of having a chicly designed apartment or house with a remote office in the attic and just claim a corner as my own. After that decision came the radical act of turning my desk around, sacrificing my view of the $1.5 mil home with the peek-friendly windows for an "office space" that's much more defined.

    Don't get me wrong, it ain't pretty. My desk juts out nearly halfway into the entrance of the dining room and I have to wedge myself into my chair to sidle up to the computer. It's my own little insta-nook and I couldn't be happier.

    First of all, the small space behind the desk means it's harder for the hubs to squeeze back here/dump bills on my highly organized piles of stuff/steal my favorite pen. Second, I think it is the first time in the nine years we've lived together I've had a space other than my bra drawer that's been all mine (no touching!). Third, for some reason, even though I face the mayhem, I can better focus back here. Hmmm...Maybe all that turning around see what Lil E's using his plastic saw to anhialate fix was yanking me out of the zone. Now I don't have to stop typing when I start yelling, which feels like genius to me. Finally, when Lil E needs to be close to me while watching Barney, he can stand behind me on my chair, hold on to my neck and still see creepy dinosaur all at the same time. Ta-da!

    Cafemama's also found a way to making working from home with kids work, which includes a little bit of chaos, a well-stocked project drawer and the possibility of some part-time babysitting help. Now she wants to know how other WAHPs are doing it. How are you handling the in-home gig these days? What are your tricks of the trade?


     [via: UrbanMamas]


  • Ms. Foundation Hosts Final 'Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day'

    It's the end of an era.  The Ms. Foundation sponsored its first "Take Our Daughters to Work Day" in 1993 and will host the last this year. Though the Foundation is hopeful the day will continue on and has handed it over to a small human resources consulting firm, there are skeptics who fear this might be the end of what has become a wonderful tradition in many companies.

    Of the legacies left by the 'Daughters and Sons to Work' days, perhaps none is more significant than the memories of so many kids who finally got to see what their parents do all day. I remember touring my Dad's engineering company when I was about 16.  He proudly showed me around the technical tunnel making equipment and introduced me to all his colleagues.  I don't remember any interest in Engineering being sparked, but I loved the sense of continuity and pride he showed in his work.  And that has stayed with me.

     



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