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  • I Want To Be the "Urine Whisperer"

    My oldest kid took for-ev-er to get a handle on using the potty. Pee was no problem. It was the big P that seemed to flummox her. We tried everything. Encouragement. Bribes. Threats. Still - she did what she always does, which is wait until she was good and ready, then figured it out in two seconds. It drove us into fits. It'll be different with Kid Number Two. Why?

     

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  • To Pee or Not to Pee

    If you want to start a fight when you meet a new parent online, the quickest route isn't to bring up breast v. bottle or Waldorf v. Montessori. No, if you really want to descent into screaming fits of madness, whisper the words:

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  • Delusional Park Slope Parent Seeks Nanny/Saint

    I’ve never had to hire a nanny. I stash my kids in the cheapest kiddie farm that minimally passes health inspections. So maybe I don’t really understand what it’s like to open my home and life to a stranger, who will spend a seemingly endless amount of time with my kids, doing the bulk of the drudgery so I don’t have to.

    Still, I feel comfortable in saying that the requirements laid out in this ad for a Park Slope nanny will be met only by liars or those with hands bearing scars from stigmata.

    Let’s unpack the ad:

    Busy young couple … active, energetic nanny … three-month-old. Got it. Fluent in English … 1-2 year commitment … experience with family from newborn to elementary school a plus. They’re dreaming, but fine.  They outline a four-day week, 12-hour days plus one weekend night per month. Next come the delusions/cries for help.

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  • Tired of Changing Diapers? Try Elimination Communication

    baby potty I admit, when I first heard about Elimination Communication (EC) several years ago, I was skeptical.  Really skeptical.  Okay, maybe I even said, "Ewww."  After all, what was this about?  Rushing to hold your infant over a potty, based on intuition and certain cues?  I'm a big believer in non-verbal communication, telepathy if you will, and in fact I've communicated with my own children that way when they were pre-verbal, using it for instance to know when they were hungry or thirsty (and don't many parents do that?  Think about it; I'm sure you have done this too), but, uh, the peeing and pooping?  It's one thing to mistake "I want that block" for "I'm thirsty", but....the pee.  And the poop. 

    But what about the diapers?  They're expensive, and lots of people have issues with the bleaches and gels and dyes that kids are wearing next to their kid-bits for longer and longer periods now, judging by the ever-increasing diaper sizes that are now available (soon!  In Extra Jumbo Jumbo!  New retro designs, great for the dorm!), and aren't we filling up our landfills with these things, each one with a half-life of about 400 years, collectively containing enough ammonia and methane to increase global warming at least ten degrees?

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