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• Canadians Soon to be Even Happier

  When you're Canadian, do you wake up every morning happy ... cold, but happy? I ask because it seems to me that Canadians get it when it comes to families -- healthcare, maternity leave, education. Canadians are just so together, cold but together. Take this as an example: national lawmakers there are seriously considering an overhaul of their lawmaking schedule in order to make it more family friendly. The goal? Getting more parents of young children involved in public office.   Read More... Posted Feb 14 2008, 12:48 PM by Madeline Holler with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: health, work, Canada, america, working, workplace policies, family leave, work and motherhood, family-friendly, government, work/family balance, work/life balance, family living, family values, work and parenting, family life, family issues, family friendly work place, working at home, "family values", work at home

• Is Your Kid Aggressive? Blame the Other Kid. That's What I Do.

  Hey, at least we can blame someone. If you believe this, the gender of your kid's sibling(s) plays a key part in determining their dispositions.  Which confirms my belief that I should've stopped at one.  I'm kidding. Jeez... Read More... Posted Oct 10 2007, 08:36 AM by Alisyn with | with no comments Filed under: kids, gender, family living, siblings, economic disenfranchisment, aggression

• Kids Raised By Lesbians Doing Just Fine, Thanks

  A new Dutch study shows that the children of lesbian couples are just as happy and healthy as kids raised by heterosexual couples.  The findings mirror what large numbers of American studies have also shown: "Children do well in loving families, regardless of whether there are two moms or a mom and a dad involved." Even more interesting is that - perhaps not so surprisingly - lesbian biological mothers show significantly more satisfaction with their partners as co-parents than do heterosexual mothers. Read More... Posted Oct 03 2007, 12:37 PM by Alisyn with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: lesbian, Dutch, family living, wives, lesbian mothers, lesbian families

• Adaptation: How Has Parenting Changed You?

  "Life has a way of sending us children who prove to us that we definitely do not have all the answers and no matter what we THOUGHT we were going to do before our child entered our life, the reality of living, loving, and working with this separate person forces us to examine some of our theories and intentions and make adaptations." I couldn't have put it better myself.  In her post "The Role of Adaption in Parenting," Kori Rodley Irons examines how - and why - we adapt to our children as parents, and what the difference is between adapting to our kids' personalities/needs/tastes, and bending to their wills.  It's essential to be able to recognize the difference, and to remain "in charge," while being open to change at the same time. I have found that compromise, creativity, routine and positive reinforcement are essential to parenting in my house.  And I've had to learn to adapt, over time, to all of them.  Modeling compromise for my older daughter especially, often proves way more effective in terms of discipline than that "my way or the high way" stuff.  There is a time and a place for that (I am not flexible on table manners, keeping hands to ourselves, or picking up our own messes, for example).  But more often than not, getting to the bottom of what the feelings are behind the inappropriate behavior leads to a natural, neutral place, where punishment really isn't necessary. Getting creative has been as simple as creating a behavior chart, and as complex as thinking of ways to make the kids feel as though their in charge, even when they're not.  Using positive reinforcement to encourage good behavior, rather that punishment to curb bad behavior, is something that as a parent, I have found hardest to adapt to, probably because it's so much easier to just sent the kids to time out, or whatever.  But as I evolve, and as my kids come into their own as people, and we adapt to each other as we grow and change, it is my hope that the message I'm sending is that we an all learn from our mistakes, and change for the better, no matter how old we are. How have you had to adapt as a parent?  What do you find the hardest?  What are you simply not willing to compromise on? Posted Sep 26 2007, 05:32 PM by Alisyn with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: discipline, family living, adapting as parents, creative parenting, compromise

• Better Yet: A Bullet in my Head

  Let me start by saying: I love my in-laws. Let me follow that by saying: I love them so much I wouldn’t even consider living next door to them. Which means I won’t be part of this new trend, or “trendlet,” as the experts in this article are calling an emerging pattern of extended families living within spitting distance of each other. On purpose. How does this work? And how is it working? One clan made up of the parents their grown children and their young grandchildren lives on a compound in rural New Jersey, where each family has a private house. They use golf carts to go from one home to the other for visits. (They call first, right?) Two new parents in Philadelphia sold their small townhouse and rented an apartment across the courtyard from baby’s grandma. Now they enjoy  -- the one silver lining on this dark, intrusive cloud -- free babysitting. Of course, living across the continent from the in-laws, as I do, is just as extreme as playing house in their converted garage. So how close is too close? The next room? A day’s drive? Corsica?   Posted Sep 11 2007, 07:04 PM by Madeline Holler with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: families, finances, Gen X parents, families who play together stay together, family living

• Modern Parents Hate Living in Toy-Cluttered Houses

  "Kid-centric" houses are so over.  Could someone please pass this information along to my kids?  They seem to be operating under the assumption that it is their duty in life to sling their toys, stuffed animals and doll-strollers into every corner of our tiny, 4-room house.  God, they are so un-hip. Of the discussions I have with urban and suburban parents these days, one of the most prevalent is what to do about all the crap the kids have.   Modern parents are starting to believe that "listening to their inner interior decorators, taking safety precautions and setting boundaries for their kids make for prettier, happier nests."  Translation: they want cool looking living spaces that aren't all junked-up with primary colored plastic.  And their theory is that establishing boundaries for what's acceptable behavior at home (say, eating at the table only, or keeping feet off furniture) will ensure a better looking home, and help kids learn to develop skills and behaviors necessary out in the world - in a doctor's waiting room, a museum, or a relative's house, say - without giving them a sense of entitlement.  So, what exactly does that mean?  It means mom and dad are sick of looking at your freakin' Barbies and Candyland game pieces and board books, so get 'em outta here!  OUT with the ugly plastic highchairs, in with the sleek Svan!  OUT with the giant, cheesy, it-was-on-sale-at-Target crib, and in with the small, neat crib/ toddler bed convertible!  OUT with the toy-strewn living room, in with the storage ottomans, the entertainment hutches with deep drawers, and decorative baskets that double as catch-alls.  As long as you have money to burn, you've got storage options, no matter how small your living quarters.  For those without money to burn... well, there is always CraigsList (where we bought 95% of the home furnishings that we didn't buy at Ikea)... and Ikea.  Not exactly a mecca for the design-conscious, but hey, you can always customize.  And what's worse - a house that looks like an Ikea showroom (guilty!), or having that giant, plush Diego doll glaring at you from the corner, as you're trying to get your Sopranos on?  What are your secrets for keeping the kids' stuff out of the way, while still maintaining some semblance of style in your house?  I'd really love to know. Posted May 21 2007, 10:25 AM by Alisyn with | with 16 comment(s) Filed under: toys, storage, ikea, kids and toys, family living