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• Who needs a uterus? Or a partner?

  Perhaps this will finally kill the use of the miserable phrase "female-headed household" to mean "single parent." Reporting on a trend that says more to me about changing gender roles than anything Sarah Palin has done, the New York Times reports that like single women who felt their biological clocks ticking have done for decades, more and more single men—gay and straight—are choosing single fatherhood, through adoption or surrogacy. The Times reports that they face discrimination in their quest: Read More... Posted Sep 07 2008, 07:40 PM by Miriam Axel-Lute with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: fatherhood, single dads, surrogacy, egg donors, gay dads, male lactation

• Here's to the laddies who lunch

  An article in the New York Times Style section discussed a group of men who got together for breakfast after dropping their kids off at school. The men are Manhattan-based primary caregivers, and one of them describes their jaunts as "like 'Sex and the City' with coffee instead of cosmos." Here are a couple of other possible descriptions: "Like 'Sex and the City' with more body hair." "Like 'Sex and the City' only we don't talk about penises." Wait – actually, they do! The article details the dads discussing... Read More... Posted Jul 08 2008, 05:00 PM by Brett Singer with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: kids, preschool, new york city, news, father, school, Times, dads, fathers, new york times, fatherhood, NY Times, NYC, dad, sarah jessica parker, sex and the city, styles, NYTimes, Brett Singer, Carrie Bradshaw, tri beca, nyt styles, tribeca, sex and the city movie

• Mets player thanks wife by letting her have his baby

  Ryan Church plays right field for the New York Mets. He's having a great year so far, with a .310 batting average, 8 home runs and 30 RBIs. One reason is that, despite having just become a father a couple of months ago, he's getting enough sleep. In an interview with the New York Times, Church seems to be saying that he figures letting his wife have his baby is thanks enough for getting up in the middle of night with the newborn. Maybe I'm interpreting this wrong. Here's the quote...   Read More... Posted May 16 2008, 02:00 PM by Brett Singer with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: news, newborns, sports, marriage, sleep, Baseball, fatherhood, Brett Singer, johann santana, major league baseball, mlb, ryan church, new york mets

• Dad Denied Despite DNA

  Imagine having a kid that you know is yours, that you've spent time with and become attached to, and that a DNA test proved is yours. (you're a guy, obviously, in this scenario, because usually we womenfolk pretty much know when a baby we're caring for is genetically ours). The kid you fathered and developed a bond with, though, is the product of an affair with a married woman, who stayed with her military-man husband. And that guy, who was away at an Air Force base during your relationship with his wife, gets to be the legal father of your child. That's the situation faced by James Rhoades of Tallahassee, Fla. Read More... Posted May 06 2008, 10:03 AM by Amy Kuras with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: Kentucky, genetics, paternity, fatherhood, Cheating, DNA, extramarital affairs, marital presumption, really dumb ideas

• Judge This Father: Honest or an Ass?

  A father writes a Dear Prudence letter over at Slate.com. He says he has a 2-year-old and a wife who stays home with her full-time. When he gets home at the end of the day and is expected to interact with his little girl, he gets irritated. "As my daughter has gotten older, I find that spending time with her is less and less enjoyable," he writes. "When she was an infant, and I could cuddle up with her on the couch and read a book or watch television, things were fine. Now that she's more demanding, I find it quite frustrating." "I hate to say it," he adds, "but I just don't enjoy Easter egg hunts or playing in the sand box " Read More... Posted Mar 21 2008, 11:32 AM by Jen Chaney with | with 18 comment(s) Filed under: toddler, fatherhood, dad

• Dads Matter, Even For Baboons

  A recent review by Swedish researchers of 20 years of data on father-child relationships bears out an idea that should surprise none of us: Dads matter. Specifically, having an active, positively involved father reduces behavior problems in boys and psychological problems in girls. And it has a significant effect on reducing criminal behavior in kids from low-income families and improves intelligence, reasoning and language development. Why, it's like dads are breastmilk! "For example, we found various studies that showed that children who had positively involved father figures... Read More... Posted Feb 13 2008, 04:03 PM by Amy Kuras with | with no comments Filed under: dads, fatherhood, importance of dads, dads and daughters, dads and sons, baboons, Science Daily

• Depressed Dads: Why Aren't We Talking About This More?

  Depression has seeped into our household. And while I was hyper-aware about post-partum depression to the point of checking in with myself, my therapist and my closest friends, it never occurred to me to worry about my husband's mental health. I mean, I worried about him. He was sad to leave us behind each day and he felt a newfound pressure to provide that I thought the simple declaration of a feminist partnership would eradicate completely. But I didn't worry about depression in him. Until about six months ago and now, three years later, it is a very present force in our small apartment. One of the biggest surprises is that, when I've opened up to other women about this, many have responded that their spouses or former spouses had also been tangled up in depression. It makes me wonder: Why don't we talk more about the beyond-sad dads? Read More... Posted Oct 17 2007, 06:57 PM by Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) with | with 7 comment(s) Filed under: depression, families, fatherhood, family issues

• Babble Talk: Mmmm...Hanson

  The three brothers of pop made for such delicious punch lines in the late 90’s, but now the Hanson brothers are all grown up, seemingly oblivious to the taunts of their youth. I’m sure the multi-platinum records helped. In fact, in the Babble interview with Sarah Hepola, the former teen idols seem so well-adjusted that even though they’re barely in their twenties and have a total of four children, I can’t think of a single smartass comment about these boy wonders, who are still making music and touring around the world.   It actually doesn’t surprise me that the brothers are settling down and behaving themselves. You see, I’m from Oklahoma too and there isn’t a much bigger threat than having your parents sit you down and gravely inform you that you have “brought shame to the family name.” That, and the fact that getting married right out of high school is considered sweet instead of insane. Hepola’s interview with the Hanson’s while in NYC digs into their decisions to become family men, instead of cautionary tales. They even have a little perspective for those young’uns in the spotlight today. If only Britney had paired up with TH instead of JT. Sigh. Posted Oct 11 2007, 04:44 PM by aprilpeveteaux with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Child Actors, fatherhood, hanson, babble talk, celeblrities, Sarah Hepola

• Are Dads the New Moms?

  And if so, when do I get all my retroactive paid vacation and Christmas office parties? Oh, and Post-It notes. I could really use a big drawer-full of free Post-It notes for all those little mommy (I mean PARENTAL) love notes in preschool lunches and reminders to order a Costco cake for the birthday party, send seven birthday gifts to other people's kids, pick up soy butter and little containers of applesauce (red NOT blue or orange) from the grocery store and copy playdates from email correspondence to the family calendar, call my mother/mother-in-law and all those little but imperative things mothers do. Errr, I mean, fathers. Read More... Posted Sep 17 2007, 06:31 PM by Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) with | with no comments Filed under: fatherhood, sahds, trophy husbands, trophy wives

• Putting Fathers to the Test: Super Dad or Challenge Dad?

  Sometimes it pays to brush up on the diaper changing skills and the baby food knowledge, and not just to impress the guys at the office with your understanding of pureed squash. Fathering Japan, a Tokyo non-profit, will be offering a "daddy exam" so fathers can test their knowledge of all things paternal, and get ranked anywhere from "super dad" to "challenge dad" (a.k.a. "sucky dad"). The test is designed to raise men's awareness about parenting, because apparently fatherhood often takes a backseat to work in Japan, though the times are a'changin. The director of Fathering Japan says, "There just isn't enough information about parenting for fathers. Through the exam, we want men to realize that they don't know anything about child-rearing." Hey, a test designed to make you feel like you don't know anything... It's calculus all over again! Test questions range from... Read More... Posted Sep 17 2007, 09:04 AM by Kelly Mills with | with no comments Filed under: dads, Japan, fatherhood, daddy exam, pop rocks

• Real Dads and Reel Dads Duke It Out

  It's that time again! Time for that dreaded trip to the greeting card aisle to pick out a masculine card for the dad you still haven't forgiven for shaming you out of trying out for the pom squad or to find a card that perfectly combines the humor and heart-felt sentiments for the father who you mimic everyday while singing Wheels on the Bus with your own wee ones. As if that's not enough pressure, Blockbuster, struggling movie rentees and icons of scientific family relationship research, has just released the results of a longitudinal, worldwide survey (not really but they also say they don't charge late fees anymore -- ha!) on the best dads on- and off-screen. Predictably, the top pic for "Movie Dads You'd Most Like As Your Own" is Chris Gardner, profiled in Pursuit of Happyness and played by Will Smith. In second place is Father of the Bride's George Banks, played lovable and bumbly by Steve Martin. In third place is Gregory Peck's portrayal of Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird, which makes me think that some ambitious junior-year high school English teacher offered up a boatload of extra credit points to students who chose him in the survey. Topping the "Movie Dads Most Like Your Own" category are (again) George Banks, Robert DeNiro's Jack Byrnes' lie detecting dad character in Meet the Parents, and Chevy Chase's timelessly hilarious and embarrassing Clark Griswold, Eugene Levy's portrayal of "Jim's Dad" in American Pie. I have to admit that, as much as I've laughed at these funny fathers and as much as one or more of them may (I said may) slightly resemble my own dad, I sure wouldn't admit it. Especially to the assholes who constantly charged me for movies I totally returned on time. Read More... Posted Jun 08 2007, 05:02 PM by Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) with | with no comments Filed under: fatherhood, father's day, father of the year, movie dads

• More Stuff for Father's Day ... Just Not for You

  I mocked a dad for not wanting things for Father's Day. How could he not want a coffee mug? Or a tie? Or even crappy, home-made crayon art work? But now I'm guessing there's quite a few dads out there -- somewhere -- who value family, happiness and social awareness over more important things. And that's where Changing the Present comes in. It's web site that lets you donate to important causes, instead of simply shelling out dough for bric-a-brac and lingerie this Father's Day. For instance, for $50 you can de-mine a sports field. For $20, you can buy 8,000 pounds of carbon to offset something to do with the ice caps. For $75, you can provide healthcare to a needy person for a month. The list of ultra-cool greeny gifts goes on and on -- and I'm beginning to think I might finally have found something better than stuff. (Note that I haven't vetted this site -- so do your homework before donating. But the idea was too good to pass up.)   Posted Jun 06 2007, 07:31 AM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: father, fatherhood, consumerism, dad, father's day, father's day gift guide, father's day gifts

• Gene Simmons Offers Tips on Fatherhood

  Gene Simmons, of Kiss (and long tongue) fame, spouts about fatherhood in this month's Esquire, along with other fatherhood experts, Forest Whitaker and Mario Battali.  Simmons discusses his confusion over his mother's offer throughout his childhood to throw herself under a truck for him, to which he (naturally) responded: "Don't do that, you'll die!" Other gems?  Appreciate the small moments, threaten boy suitors, and whisper so the kids have to lean in.  With advice like this, who needs Doctor Phil or Berry Brazelton?   [Photo Credit: Esquire]    Posted May 29 2007, 01:11 PM by Rachael Brownell (Redsy) with | with no comments Filed under: gene simmons, fatherhood, forrest whitaker, Mario Batali

• Mother's Day Finally Over! All Hail Fathers!

  Well thank god that's over. Breakfast-in-bed. Check. Gifts. Check. Day Spa Massage. Check. Flowers. Damnit! Undying love and support. I'm friggin exhausted! But now, finally, we can all focus on more important things in life ... like Father's Day. So goodbye Mother's Day -- you greeting card-contrived holiday that sends dads everywhere into a state of anxiety and gloom, fearful they won't get the right gift or offer just enough time away from the kids to give mom a break but also not cripple all the hard work she's put into them. Three weeks, is it? And hello Father's Day -- you greeting card-contrived holiday that sends moms into a state of euphoria because they can finally get that bastard out of the house for three weeks and have some quality time with the kids ... or is that just me? Anyway, I want a watch. And also what every red-blooded American man wants when he wakes up late on that balmy Sunday June morning ... another season of the "Gilmore Girls." Posted May 14 2007, 08:33 AM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: father's rights, fatherhood, Mother's Day, favorite things, Mother's Day gift ideas, mother's day gift guide

• Boot Camp for New Dads: No Yelling. Just Lots and Lots of Loaded Diapers

  When I first read the headline "Boot Camp for New Dads," I called my husband over to the computer to read all about it along with me. Since our son is 2-1/2, Bruce isn't exactly a new dad. But he is a personal trainer who happens to teach a boot camp class at early dark in the a.m., three days a week. Oh, and also because he claims to still carry a little extra baby weight. By some rip in the cosmos, I didn't gain any weight in my first trimester of pregnancy (don't scorn me, I gained plenty in every trimester that followed). Bruce, God love him, took on pregnancy with great sympathy. He took it on with so much sympathy that he claimed to have (and these are his words, people) "a food fetus made up of hamburger meat and Doritos" growing inside of him. You can imagine how excited Bruce was to read about new daddy boot camp, not only professionally but also personally. It seemed like genious to us both and a great balance to the many strollerobics classes available for new moms. But alas, Boot Camp for New Dads has nothing to do with exercise. Unless you count the 3 a.m. laps from bed to bassinet to change diapers, find pacifiers and pat an unhappy newborn's belly. Rather, Boot Camp for New Dads is a nonprofit, father-to-father program that serves as an orientation to expectant dads in 42 states and on military bases. The program offers hands-on workshops led by a coach and "veteran" dads who've had some practice return with their infants to help guide attendees through the basics of baby care. Part of the organization's mission is to reach out to low-income men and men without the support or skills they need to be present, responsible, caring fathers. Boot Camp for Dads has received all kinds of acclaim and grants and has graduated 150,000 fathers since 1990. So Bruce is on his own with his classes and his food fetus. The men who get in get involved with Boot Camp for New Dads aren't, though, and that is critical for many fathers-to-be in this country. And I have to admit, this kind of fatherhood fitness is way better than yelling at someone to do another lap through the obstacle course.    Posted May 04 2007, 10:03 AM by Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) with | with no comments Filed under: newborns, fatherhood, boot camp for new dads

• Why James Bond Would Make the Best. Dad. Ever.

  People will tell you James Bond would make a horrible parent. He frequently travels. He drinks to much. He's a womanizer. And oh yeah, he kills people for a living. On top of all that, he's been known to cavort with a nuclear physicist played by Denise Richards. *chuckle, chuckle* But the DVD for the latest Bond film -- "Casino Royale" -- was just released, giving me the opportunity to hit the pause button on this (seriously, go look -- you'll thank me), while also affording me the chance to wonder whether 007 would make a good dad. Because let's face it, the James Bond franchise is going to get there eventually -- he's slept with too many femmes fatales to not have at least one kid pop up in a future film. Can't you just imagine: "James Bond in Old Finger." Read More... Posted Mar 14 2007, 04:03 PM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Movies, parents, fathers, Daniel Craig, James Bond, Daniel Craig in Swimsuit, fatherhood

• K-Fed Cleans Up, Steps Up

  Kevin Federline is joining the ranks of America dads who are cleaning up their acts, stepping up to the plate, and raising the children they helped bring into this world.  And from what I've been hearing, he's doing a pretty admirable job, too. While his estranged wife exorcises her demons in rehab, Kevin has been caring for Sean, 18 months, and Jayden, 6 months, with the help of a nanny and his mom.  The l'il Feds even tagged along with Dad to a paid Vegas gig over the weekend, where sources told People he was subdued, "not the wild, crazy Kevin who used to come to Vegas," even arriving late for dinner with friends, because he wanted to tuck his boys into bed for the night. People around him are saying that Britney's breakdown has helped the father of 4 prioritize his life, and that he now "wakes up with a purpose each morning."   When I'm wrong, I am willing to admit it.  And I admit - I think I was wrong about you, Kevin Federline.  Your music sucks, there's no two ways about that.  But as a dad, and a human being, you seem pretty cool. You keep on keepin' on, and those little boys may grow up to be very fine people, indeed.  As a Dad, you clean up real nice, K-Fed. Now, about those clothes/shoes/jewelry/hair/facial hair/bad tattoos....   Posted Mar 06 2007, 08:01 AM by Alisyn with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: celebrity, Kevin Federline, fatherhood, sahds

• Colbert Report Uncovers Growing Menace: SAHDS

  There's a problem in America -- a "horrible, unsolvable problem," according to the Colbert Report. I have to admit when I saw the news story, I was shocked, shocked! to see this is happening in modern-day America. It says something about our country, about who we are as a people. And it's not good. According to the show, it seems dads are, gasp, staying home to raise their children! While their wives return to work! I have never been more repulsed in all my life. I share your outrage, Stephen Colbert -- this is "part of a dangerous movement that is threatening the American way of life." And it's about time we do something about it. Read More... Posted Mar 05 2007, 09:19 PM by Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: daddy blogs, dads, gender stereotypes, stay at home dads, fatherhood, Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert

• Dads Rule: New Data Tells Us Fathers Matter (A Lot)

  Ok so we know sometimes dads get a bum wrap.  We've heard them take note of their minority status in the blogosphere.  We've read that they sometimes feel like "just a paycheck."  And we know several groups have formed in Britain and the U.S. to insure father's rights in custody battles.  There is no doubt that fathers are often under-appreciated, sometimes deservedly so. But have you ever been a single parent? I have and I'll tell you what. It sucks.  Don't get me wrong. Being in a lousy relationship with an unhelpful parent partner can be terrible too.  But when you are in a relationship with a good father, the relief is immense and the yoke of motherhood can become downright manageable. The father-child relationship is incredibly crucial to the healthy development and maturation of kids into adulthood.  A recent study found that the quality of the father-child relationship is predictive of success in intimate relationships in adulthood.  I've seen my children with and without an active father person in the home.  And the difference is immense.  So maybe I should seriously consider that request for a "man space" after all. Posted Feb 20 2007, 09:11 AM by Rachael Brownell (Redsy) with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: fathers rights, intimacy, fatherhood, importance of dads, single parenting