When my older son was about three, he took to wearing an old skirt
of his big sister's (she was about 15 then). At first it was just
around the house, but eventually he insisted, as three-year-olds do
about a whole host of things, to be allowed to wear it when and where
he pleased. At that point I was used to putting barrettes in his
hair and seeing him carry around an old purse (he made quite a striking
figure in a very boyish polo shirt, a raggedy black pleated knit skirt,
sparkly barrettes, and the purse). It was capped off when his dad bought
him, for his fourth birthday, a pair of pink plastic high heeled
shoes. Nathaniel refers to that time as "when he was a girl" and
in fact most people did take him for a girl for at least a year,
complimenting me on my "lovely daughters" after his little sister was
born.Now, I know enough to know that gender issues have nothing
necessarily to do with being gay, but my son's preferences during that
time did bring a question to the forefront, which was, "What if my son
is gay?" My conclusion? "No problem." I knew I would
be able to accept my son for who he was, whoever that turned out to
be. Well, I hoped I would, of course, not really knowing how I
would be in reality, because how can you know your reaction to anything
in advance? But I hope I will be open to it when and if
it comes up in his life. Or his sister's. Or his little brother's,
for that matter.
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