We're always finding out that babies are smarter than we thought. I
mean, no longer can we be content thinking that they're adorable little
flesh-lumps just lying around and waiting to have some humungous face
hover over them, cooing at them just so they'll activate their sensors
and wriggle in supposed delight.
Nope, babies think. In
fact, they're likely planning all kinds of toddler tricks while they
lie quietly in their bassinets, just waiting for mobility and the
whining mode to set in so they can drive us crazy. Not that you need
proof of babies' obvious sentience, but here's more:
babies as young as four months old can distinguish when someone
speaking to them suddenly switches to a different language. Just by
reading lips.
So
I'm wondering, why is this a useful technique for babies to have? Other
than the occasional bilingual household, what purpose does this serve?
And then it dawned on me: obviously, babies are being trained as dual
agents. It all adds up. They're small and relatively difficult to
detect (unless they happen to be equipped with a full diaper); they're
cute so our innate sense of danger is circumvented; and now they
clearly all understand multiple languages without letting on.
Dastardly, evil fiends. Okay, babies, the jig is up! It's all over now; we're on to you! Can't fool us with cuteness ANY.MORE.
