Finally, something worthwhile to blame that ten-pound spare tire on
that you've been carrying around for the last six months (and your wife
said it was all those cookies, pffffftt!). Oh, and you can quit
bathing, too. Because those toys you keep stepping on? And
the soap? Is what's been making you fat. Finally, a study that makes perfect sense!
We
already have heard that many plastic toys contain phthalates, the
plastic additive that is used to make PVC plastic more pliable and that
we already know is toxic to babies. But now they're saying that
there is a link to phthalates and low testosterone levels (now
that'll get someone's attention!) and poor sperm quality. Your
boys have been swimming in a toxic chemical soup, my friend! And
low testosterone is thought to have an impact on belly fat and
pre-diabetic conditions (another reason to lay off the cookies).
Since phthalates are found, like, everywhere (in
cosmetics, shampoos, soaps, lotions, lubricants, paint, pesticides, and
plastics, and even in the coating of timed-release medications!),
practically 75% of the populationhas measurable levels of several phthalates in their urine. (Though no one tested me; did they test you?) DuPont Chemical's slogan used to be "Better Living Through Chemistry". Maybe it's time to rethink that one.