Finding a tribe is one of the most important things a new parent can do. Hooking up with a couple of like-minded folks who share your interests, or who are in the same boat you are (first time parents, special needs parents, other non-traditional families) can be an enormous relief. Having friends who understand why you can’t go to dinner at 9 on a Friday night, or how frustrated you are with your toddler, or how stressful navigating the public school system can be, really helps take the pressure off of this glorious burden called parenthood. Just having one person who really, truly understands can be a huge blessing – but finding that person, or people, can be a huge challenge.
Primary caregivers, particularly in the first several months, are somewhat isolated by sleeping/eating/ schedules, and by naps in the toddler months. Working parents simply don’t have the luxury of going to the park and striking up a conversation with the locals. And we all know that making new friends isn’t as easy as it sounds – it can takes months to solidify friendships, and really feel like part of a group – and to a new parent, with few social connections, months can drag… and drag… and drag…..
Just one of the many reasons we’re lucky to be living in the age of the interwebs, folks. With sites like meetup.com (where an Iowa group called Hip Mamas is popular among locals), Café Mom, Maya’s Mom, and parenting message boards on sites like (the original) HipMama and Craig’s List, finding local parents is as easy as turning your computer on. Gen Xers are really hip to this idea (do we do anything offline?), because it's stress-free and anonymous. You can find an existing group to hang with, or start one of your own - no pressure. It may take a while before you finally find those special friends - the ones that become your local family, who share birthdays, backyard BBQ’s and school days with you – but you will find them, if you give it time. It worked for me – it can work for you, too!
