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  • Been Caught Parenting Well?

    If someone walked up to you in public and told you you’d been caught in the act of positive parenting, handed you a magnet, and went on their merry way, how would you feel? Proud, embarrassed, intruded upon, or a mix of all three?

    If you live in or around Kalamazoo, Mich. you might just get the chance to find out. A local nonprofit, the Kalamazoo County Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Council (Kalamazoo CAN) is, among other things, training volunteers to recognize good parenting techniques and approach parents when they see someone exhibiting them in public. The volunteer tells them what they did well, presents them with a magnet saying they’ve been caught in the act, and encourages them to keep up the good work.

    I’m all for increasing the amount of positive energy put into the world

    Read More...


  • Setting the Bar Low: No Armed Robbery

     I've been having a difficult parenting time lately – between teething in the baby and an advanced case of Three in the older child, there's been yelling and  impatience and flat out tantrums on both ends. But at least I'm not this woman.

    Police say that a Milwaukee woman celebrated her 37th birthday by knocking over a couple gas stations with her 17-year-old son. According to police, he robbed, she drove. Even better, her 14-and10-year old sons and 13-month-old daughter were along for the ride. Allegedly.

    According to the police report, the woman's son robbed a gas station in Milwaukee and then less than an hour later, police in suburban Greenfield southwest of Milwaukee received a 911 call just before 8 pm last Tuesday from a Speedway gas station

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  • Two Moms Brawl at Chuck E. Cheese

    chuck e cheese aaarrrggghhhYou know how it goes: One minute you are hosting a birthday party for your kid, and the next thing you know, you are in a fistfight with another mom. Two mothers are going to court soon over a tussle at a party at Chuck E. Cheese. I'm pretty sure part of the defense strategy will be, "Your Honor, there are mitigating circumstances to consider. After all, my client was at Chuck E. Cheese, and I doubt anyone has spent time there and not wanted to strike someone."

    Of course, it all started over a video game...

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  • Mom Leaves Kids at Fire Station

      When I saw this story, about a Houston-area mom who left her 8- and 10-year-old kids at a Cy-Fair fire station, my first instinct was to get all judgy (and then my next instinct was to start giggling like a madwoman). I mean, this woman apparently left the kids at the station, told them she couldn’t deal with them anymore and to come back when they grow up, and drove off.

    But.

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  • Mother May I Dance With Danger?

    Recently, my five year old had a playdate with a friend of hers who lives on a farm. Yes, we live near farms, rather than in the heart of a dense urban jungle. These things happen, even to the most devoted city lover.

    Anyway, when I dropped her off at the farm, where the Diva was going to cavort among puppies and ponies, I noticed that the friend's dad was walking around with a gun on his hip. To a bed-wetting liberal like me, this was terrifying. My firstborn would be near a gun? Right out in the open like that? Like a bad afterschool special?

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  • Man Confesses to Putting His Four-Year-Old On the Massport Payroll

    kids at workA longshoreman confessed in court to adding his 4 year old son to the Massport payroll. Now, what kind of job would a young child be doing for them? Why, heavy equipment operations, of course! I'm sure time spent with Tonka trucks and backhoes making vroom vroom sounds left him more than qualified to operate dangerous equipment. What? This was a fraud case? Ohhhhh, I get it.

    Here's what I don't understand though...

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  • When Mom F's Up: Kids Who Swear

    Being the designated "Pottymouth" of StrollerDerby, it probably goes without saying that I have been known to cuss.  More than I should.  Yes, I really, really try to censor myself around my kids, but I'm not so good at it.  I've always - to my own detriment - been the kind of person who reacts (verbally, emotionally) first, and thinks later. 

    And yeah... the kids pick up on that.

     I'm not proud of it... but sometimes is kind of funny.  Oh, come on.  It is!  Hearing "oh, shit!" come out of a helium-voiced, baby-talkin' little sweetheart whose marker has just hit the deck can be giggle-inducing.  Hearing that Rebecca Woolf's two year old feels "like ass," might be similarly smile-making.  The juxtaposition of the cuteness and the the potty talk can crack even the steeliest of faces (hidden behind shirt sleeves, backs turned, of course). 

    The trickiest part of having toddlers who swear is that we can't make too big a deal out of the little buggers borrowing our more colorful vocabulary word.  We can't ignore them - that's not cool.  But we can't harp on them too much, because then they'll use the choice words all the time, or we'll have a power struggle on our hands, or both.  I have been unbelievably lucky - my kids have never sworn in public. I don't know why, but they seem to instinctively know that if they drop an s-bomb in public, I'll feel like major ass. (No cuss therapy for us, thanks). 

    C'mon - confess.  Has your kid ever cussed?  How did you handle it?  Have you ever had to deal with it in public?


  • Wasted Mom Promotes 5-Year-Old Son To Designated Driver

    I know what you're thinking - this is another Britney Spears story - but alas, no.  What we have here may be the direct result of too many Brit stories floating around the blogosphere: The (inevitable?) if-she-can-do-that, surely- I-can-get-away-with-this! mentality. It would certainly be less shocking - pedestrian, even - if this was another tale of Britney's stupidity.  If only...

    Being whacked-out on sleeping pills and Percoset and itching for something to do, Holly Schnobrich promoted her 5-year-old son to the station of private chauffer - I can only assume she was heading out to get her head shaved - and shamelessly admitted doing so to local police.  A neighbor called the cops while watching Holly and her sons zoom out of their driveway.  Though Holly insisted that her son was "a good driver," she was arrested anyway, and booked for two counts of felony child endangerment and misdemeanor public intoxication.

    No word on whether or not she was booked for driving her children crazy.
     


  • Don't Fight Over Who Has to Change the Diapers - Try Playing Spin the Baby!

    "I did the last one!"

    "It's your turn!"

    "One, two three... NOT IT!"

    These are just some of the things my husband and I say to get out of changing poopy diapers.  C'mon...  you do it too.  So why not turn the diaper changing drudgery into an exciting - if not slightly dangerous - game of chance, like these folks did?

    To be fair, not all kids would take to this "game" the way young Gabe seems to have done.  That little guy was spinning around so fast, I'm amazed that he was able to up at all, much less get up without blowing chunks everywhere.  But hey, it's worth a shot - you have a 50% chance of getting out of diaper duty!  I call those some pretty sweet odds.  It's the parent's version of Spin the Bottle... except no one gets drunk, and instead of making out with your best friend's boyfriend, you get poop on your hands. 

    Aaaaaaand that pretty much sums up parenting in general, I think. 


  • Mom Sues YouTube Over Lame Home Video

    Hey, speaking of kidults, did you hear the one about the mom who is suing YouTube "to protect [her] fair use and free speech rights"? 

    Stephanie Lenz's video of her infant son dancing to Prince's "Let's Go Crazy" was yanked due to copyright violation.  Said Lenz, "I was really surprised and angry when I learned my video was removed... Universal should not be using legal threats to try to prevent people from sharing home videos of their kids with family and friends."  Her lawyers claim that Universal (who own the rights to the song) is is abusing a Digital Millennium Copyright Act provision, which calls on websites to remove copyright material at the behest of owners.

    I say let's Get Lawsuit Crazy, shall we?  The video's nothing to write home about - just send it to your family and friends, and be done with it, already.  Now, if the baby was dancing to "Erotic City," we might have something worth fighting over...

     


  • True Dad Confessions: Farts and Sex and Work, Oh My!

    Ladies, have you jumped over to True Dad Confessions yet?  I think SD's own Mike Adamick can speak for all of us when he notes that "there are some messed up dads out there, and it's quite possible you're married to one of them."  But I don't want to focus on the scary dudes. 

    What strikes me most about TDC is the sweet, and rather harmless, overall tones of most of the posters.  The bottom line is, most dads want more sex (of course), less work (natch), and are still as enamored by farts as they were in 7th grade.  Some dads get a kick out of farting on their kids;  Many dads like to smell farts under the covers; Several agreed that their wives farts smell good (hear that ladies?  Let 'er rip - he'll love it!).  Sadly, I could go on.

    You know what, though?  I won't.  It's enough to know that most dads, though they have passed through the gates of manhoodhood, and stand on the precipice of middle age, are still the 7th grade boys at heart.  I find it endearing. 

    The immaturity, that is.  Not the farts. 
     


  • L.A. Mom Proves Money's No Object When You've Got a Young Daughter & An Appointment at "Sunset Tan"

    Before you watch this, ask yourself: how much would you pay for a quick, healthy-looking, pseudo-sun-kissed tan from L.A.'s most successful tanning salon? 

    Now take that number and multiply it by a thousand... You're still nowhere near what the nut you're about to roll your eyes at recently paid to have her unwilling, grade school-aged daughter (what is she, 8?  9?) spray-tanned for her class picture.  E!'sl new reality show, Sunset Tan, caught the twosome on tape, and honestly, it made me feel a little sick.  When they spray painted her little neck, I had to turn away.  When the mother told the airbrush operator to "pay special attention to her cheekbones!!" I had to turn it off. 

     It's not just the thought of paying $1300 (that's one thousand, three hundred dollars) to have a child spray-painted the color of a human Orange Julius that has me reeling -  I can't even deal with the fact that a grown woman allowed - no, encouraged! - her own daughter to emulate the looks of a coked-out, tore-up mess like LiLo.  It's enough to boggle the mind... it's... it's so... L.A.

    "You want to look like Lindsay Lohan, don't you?...."

    Oh, the horror.  The horror.  Jump here to see it for yourself.

     


     


  • Dad Leaves Preschooler in Infant Drop Box in Japan

    Raising a preschooler isn't easy, I'll give him that; the whining, the demands, the "testing" of the "boundries."  The 3-5 set can be a major pain in the ass, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about taking mine to the fire station drop box once or twice.  Of course, I'd never in a million years actually do it - but that doesn't mean I don't know what it's like to want to, sometimes.

    You know what I'm talking about. 

    But, thanks to good friends, family, and luxuries like a home and health insurance, I will never have to go as far as the unnamed dad in Japan who reached his preschooler-malarkey threshold yesterday, and deposited his 3-year-old son in a drop box in Kumamoto.  The drop box, known as "Stork's Cradle," was meant to discourage abortions and abandonment of babies in unsafe public places, and was installed after a high-profile wave of abandonments in public parks and shopping areas.  The boy was left in the box on its first day in operation.

    So far, police have been able to establish the boy's name, which is being kept private, and that the boy rode the bullet train with his father to Kumamoto.  They have publicly urged the mother and father to come forward, while condemning the parents for their "unforgivable" act.

    I wonder what kind of desperate circumstances would lead a parent to such an act; poverty, disease, mental illness, homelessness...?  The list could go on and on.  The unnamed father undoubtedly faces a lifetime of despair for such an act - and a lifetime in jail if his identity is discovered.  If anything good can come out of such a sad event, I hope it's that this little boy finds a new home with a family who appreciates him - and that he is young enough to forget this ever happened to him.


  • Alec Baldwin to Write Book on Parenting. I'm Serious.

    alec "daddy" baldwinEveryone’s favorite daddy has big plans for the future. During his big damage control push over the voicemail tape (you know, calling his daughter a pig, threatening to get on a plane and straighten her out) Alec Baldwin told Babs, Rosie, and Co. on The View that he wants to write a book on the damage having an asshole for a father divorce does to children, and how dads get the shaft. In related news, Paris Hilton will be penning a book on the virtues of celibacy. Call me crazy, but if I was campaigning for fathers’ rights during divorce, I don’t think I’d want Baldwin to be the official spokesperson.

    He went on so long about the book that Madame Walters had to remind him that his first priority should be repairing his relationship with his daughter. When Barbara Walters tries to get you to say the appropriate, sensitive thing, you know you’ve entered a special zone reserved for the insanely boorish.

    Baldwin also took the opportunity to lay into his ex-wife, Kim Basinger. He only mentioned his poor child as an opening to spew more hate and to blow hard about his goal to be the next Dr. Spock. Right now some PR person is hurling coffee at their assistant and shopping online for muzzles.

    Maybe I’ll buy a copy of the book and put it on the shelf next to the Joan Crawford book on positive discipline.


  • Man Has Kids Ride in Trunk Instead of Getting a Bigger Car

    In another case of "WTF Were They Thinking?!," an Oregon man on vacation with his family apparently made two of his four kids ride in the trunk because his car was too small to hold all of them plus his fiancee.

    Douglas Willy, was arrested after police received a tip-off from someone who saw the family at a gas station. (Letting the kids out for a bathroom/beef jerky break was probably a bad idea.) Willy explained that he decided the 12- and 13-year-old should ride in the trunk so he didn't have to take a second car.  The kids had been riding in the trunk for about 20 miles before they were found.

    Willy was charged with two counts of reckless endangerment (one count of being D-U-M) and released without bail.
     


  • Scott Weiland's Kids In Temporary Custody of Friends After Raging Domestic Dispute

    Former Stone Temple Pilot/Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland's two children, ages 4 and 6, have been placed with family friends following a weekend of violent squabbling between Weiland and wife Mary that culminated in arson.

    The Weilands had their children with them at the Graciela Hotel when they trashed two rooms during the course of an argument, and police later responded to a neighbor's call and arrested Mary Weiland after she set thousands of dollars' worth of Scott's clothing on fire in the yard (shades of Waiting To Exhale?). The Weilands have been married since 2000, and this isn't the first time they've gone beyond the run-of-the-mill disagreements: in 2001 domestic violence charges were filed and later dropped after a shoving incident, and the Weilands went so far as to file for divorce before eventually reconciling. Weiland's career has been fraught with instability and misbehavior. Here's hoping that kids Noah and Lucy are in safe and sane hands.

    (via Defamer


  • Fathers Rule, Part 825: Daddy Saves Twins from Fire

    Terrible parent stories almost always gives me a stomach ache. I'm a natural fretter and hearing grim parenting tales just makes me worry more.  I like to believe that most of us do a pretty good job far from the madding crowd, and that stories like James Kim's are more representative of the steely insides of most parents than those told on Parent's Behaving Badly.

    So the story of a Scottish man who saved his 6 week old baby twin girls from a blazing house fire, is heartening.  Apparently, the man was awoken by his trusty pet dog who barked loud warnings and eventually woke up what one assumes is one very very tired Daddy. Ahhhh.

    Parenting requires extraordinary strength and stamina.  I think men and women bring very different, but equally crucial skills to the project of raising kids.  And although we aren't generally asked to climb burning buildings in a single bound to save our offspring, I have no doubt many of us would do it, with or without the red cape.


  • Washington Mom Admits She Coached Kids to Fake Retardation

    A while back, Johnny Knoxville got together with the Farrelly Brothers and brought us the film The Ringer. Knoxville, in a Brando-esque display of Method Acting, feigns mental retardation in order to enter the Special Olympics as a "ringer" so that he can win a fixed bet and erase a huge debt. Of course, Knoxville learns a lesson in life and love, and develops a new found respect and affection for the mentally challenged. It's not the greatest movie ever made, definitely a 13 or 14 in one's Netflix queue, but even I - a cold-hearted bastard if ever there was one - got a bit verklempt.

    So here we have life imitating art, without the feel-good ending. In an attempt to fleece the system, Rosie Costello instructed her kids, starting at ages 4 and 8, to fake retardation so that she could collect Social Security benefits. They were busted when social workers viewed a tape of son Pete contesting a traffic ticket in a Vancouver courtroom. Pete now faces six months to a year in prison, and may have to pay up to $59,000 in restitution. Daughter Marie has not yet been located. To borrow a line from Indiana Jones, "try the local sewer." At first I felt bad for the kids, but apparently they kept the ruse going until they were in their 20's. Rosie is scheduled to be sentenced on May 17.

    My feel-good ending? Rosie behind bars, banging out license plates to pay back the $280,000 she stole.


  • NY Magazine Article Warns Parents Against Over-Praising

    Do you find yourself throwing adjectives and hoorays toward your kids like a cheerleader on crack? It turns out all of those encouragements --"great job honey!" and "way to share the SLIDE!" --yelled at the playground and elsewhere may end up undermining little Billy's confidence and making him overly dependent on outward praise, rather than building a sense of true confidence.

    According to a recent article in New York Magazine, the type of praise you offer your child is more important than frequency.  We are clearly a generation of parents who overdoes many things.  It could be all those "Free to be You and Me" songs and "you can be anything you want to be" pep talks from our childhoods that created the emotional talk pile-on typical of parenting today.

    Whatever the cause, the study cited in the New York Magazine piece found that parents who praise the effort put forth imbue more confidence in their children than those who simply say "You are so smart."  At the end of the day, people derive more lasting satisfaction from mastering skills and completing tasks, than compliments about form or grace or personal attributes.  Next time I strap on my late 70s cheer-speak, I'm going to recalibrate my hollering to praise hard work, rather than overall fabulousness. 

    Photo Credit [New York Magazine]


  • Mom Gives Teen Gun to Whack Friend

    handgunIn a case of "Do as I say, not do as I do" taken to the extreme, a New Orleans mother accused of giving her teenager a gun and telling him to "take revenge" after he lost a fight was arrested after another teen (the winner of the fight) was shot to death.

    Police are searching for her son, Clarence Johnson, 17, who faces a charge of second-degree murder in the death of the other 17-year-old.

    According to police, Virginia Johnson gave her son a handgun and told him to "exact revenge" on the victim because her son got his ass kicked. Clarence Johnson allegedly took the gun, found the kid and fired several rounds hitting the victim once in the abdomen.  The victim later died at the hospital.

    File under: Parenting Without A License.

    [via CNN]


  • Play Asks Why Moms Kill Their Kids. Dads? Eh, Maybe Next Season

    Susan SmithWhen I first saw this story about 1:23, I was taken aback. I've been running a blog about parents who harm their kids - and here someone had gone and made a stage play about it. I blanched, though, when I read the description:

    What would bring a woman to kill her own child? As 1:23 explores, the answers are rarely simple. When the show begins, a mother appears on a television screen, pleading for the return of her two young children, the incidental victims of a carjacking. But as the details are examined more closely, her story begins to fall apart and the nondescript black carjacker she blames for the crime materializes only as a figment, a threat or an angel of society's collective imagination. In another time, a police sergeant begins an interrogation of another woman, who is being questioned in a Texas station regarding the drowning of her five children....

    Read More...



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