Admit it. You tell your kids it's "not a dessert night," then eat a pint of Chunky Monkey after they go to bed. You steal their Halloween candy. You sneak vegetables into everything they eat. You force them to drink water even though you guzzle down a six pack of Diet Coke every day.
You're a mean, hypocritical parent. Pull up a chair!
God, I hate fruit. Nary shall an apple pass my lips unless it's slathered with blue cheese, but I buy them by the ton because it's the snack my kids love best. Every time they say, "Can I have an apple?" I gush, "Why yes! What a healthy snack choice!" As a result they love fruit and I try not to gag as they happily chomp their bananas, pears or (shudder) plums.
Let's talk about water. I think I may be part camel because I don't drink more than a glass or two a day. I don't like it. I'd rather drink nothing. And yet, I force my kids to drink it as their main beverage of choice. Yes, they can have a glass of soymilk or a glass of juice, but the rest of the time it's water, water, (blerf) water.
Yogurt. I'd like to pummel the person that decided tangy, sour, thick milk was a good idea. Let's leave it there.
Milk. I'm sorry but I'm not drinking any liquid that's been extracted from a cow's tits. Actually, with milk I let my kids have a pass.
I'm bracing for the day when the older kid finally wises up and says, "Wait a minute, why do I have to eat a broiled grapefruit for a snack? You never eat it."
Please tell me I'm not alone. What foods do you pretend to like so your kids will eat it?