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  • Book #666 of the Harry Potter Series

    Each generation has had to contend with the dark whispers of Satan cunningly hidden in everyday items of popular culture. For my generation growing up in the 80’s it was the subliminal Satanic backmasking in heavy metal music that brainwashed and influenced many teenagers into performing immoral oftentimes self-destructive acts of deviance and depravity like getting to second base with your girlfriend, growing a mullet and a cheesy moustache and even wearing a white tuxedo to the junior AND senior prom. Evil, pure evil.

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  • When Fictional Characters Come Out Of the Closet

    dumbledore is out

    I went on vacay (with accompanying media blackout) for the weekend, and when I got back I was stunned to hear about J.K. Rowling's announcement that Dumbledore is gay. See, I totally thought that Winnie the Pooh would be the first children's book character to be outed. Other than that, the news about the Hogwarts headmaster just makes me love Rowling and the Harry Potter books even more than I did before, and it also makes me understand the Grindelwald thing a little better... I know, I just lost anyone who hasn't kept up with the series.

    But here's something fans and non-fans alike might not be too surprised to learn: Conservatives and fundamentalists...

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  • Harry Potter Minor Characters

    snape

    Part of what makes the Harry Potter books so great are the fully-formed lesser characters. Who knew when we started that bumbling Neville would have such a painful past? Or that Malfoy would have a couple sympathetic moments? Savvymoms did this nice top ten list of some of the best of the bit people.

    I totally agree on many, and adore Professor McGonagall and those Weasley twins. I also have a real squishy lovey spot for Snape, and I keep hoping a little redemption is on the horizon (though with Rowling, there's certainly no guarantee.) But I'd cut Luna (irritating) and Dobby (twice as irritating) in favor of Lupin, who I just can't get enough of, and Fleur Delacour, who surprised even Mrs. Weasley with how she isn't so shallow after all. Did I miss anyone key?

    And for the record, none of these players will make anyone read, and they are all really mouthpieces of Satan


  • Harry Potter Still Tool of Satan

    harry devil potterWhat is it about poor old Harry Potter that brings out the devil in so many? A teaching assistant at a London elementary school is suing for religious discrimination after she refused to listen to a 7-year-old student read aloud from a Harry Potter book. She was suspended for her "obstructive conduct over time" after she told the child, "I don't do witchcraft in any form" and "said she would be 'cursed' by hearing the novel". Oh. According to the teaching assistant, she was "'harassed, humiliated and discriminated' against because of her religious beliefs." I don't know, I think telling a 7-year-old she's basically practicing public witchcraft would be a little humiliating and feel a tad like harassment, but hey, the kid only likes the book, it's not like her religion or anything. The fact that the disciplinary action has to do with conduct "over time" makes me think there was more than one creepy child-terrifying incident, but who knows.

    This is of course only the latest in the bad-Harry campaign. There's a few other interesting people out there who believe the boy-wizard has been licked by the flames of hell. See, I had no idea that when we read these books at night as part of snuggly family story time that we were really going over to the dark side. Maybe we'll have to start painting pentagrams out of goat's blood around the bed, just to get the full effect. But here's what I don't get: tons of kids books have magic and wizardry in them, so I can only assume Potter was singled out because he's so darn popular?  Hey, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe has a magical talking lion, for pete's sake (and was made into an equally if not more violent movie). And yes, I do know LWW bears some similarity with another famous story. Maybe we just need fabricate some kind of biblical parallel for all the muggles, and the Potter protesters will go away.

    P.S. My dad, an ordained minister, enjoyed the Potter books immensely, which I say to illustrate the really, really obvious: Harry-hating ain't a Christian thing.  



  • Rowling to Write Another Potter Book. "Harry Potter in the Home for Aging Wizards"?

    harry potter fansJK Rowling, author of those little-known books about a boy-wizard, has announced she will write an eighth Harry Potter book. While the "last" book in the series, The Deathly Hollows, will come out in the summer, Rowling says she'll do an encyclopedia of the world she created, and use material she wasn't able to include in any of the previous books. (Hobbit-followers will recognize this as "Silmarillion Syndrome".) This is good news for Potter fans, especially since the author has hinted she might kill off some beloved characters in this seventh book. Don't think she won't do it; just ask Dumbledore. And she is British, for god's sake.

    While my Muggle household welcomes the addition of a new book, not everyone is so thrilled with the wizarding world. This woman thinks the Harry Potter books are Judas Priest, Marilyn Manson, and Dungeons & Dragons all rolled into one brainwashing tool of Satan. Book-learnin' is dangerous stuff. Apparently the series has the ability to turn a kid into a "tricking time bomb of danger". Put that on a t-shirt, somebody! The novels also have the power to make teens become cutter-vampires. And, um, sympathize with terrorist organizations. Now that you mention it, if you put a beard on Daniel Radcliffe, he does look a little like Osama bin Laden. (And in this photo, it looks like the beard went on the wrong end.) Hey, the woman who hates Harry is a Gemini. Isn't astrology kind of occult-ish too? I mean, those wise men from the good book might have been star-watchers, but you can't be too careful when dealing with the devil.   

    Anyhow, here's hoping the new book covers some important questions, like "How come Harry never uses his invisibility cloak to sneak into the girls' showers undetected?" and "What does Voldemort do to unwind after long day?" My family will definitely camp out at midnight in a bookstore to find out.

     



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