There's lots of reasons while I'll never be able to be the right kind of soccer mom.
I can't give pointers, because I stink at ball sports. My snack-making
skills are limited, and I'd hate for my kid to be mortified by my
offering of broken multigrain crackers and browning apple slices. I
detest sitting in lawn chairs, and my car only seats four comfortably.
I lack the ability to get grass stains out of a uniform, and I'm
totally the kind of mom who forgets to wash the gear until moments
before the game, and has to dress her child in a slightly damp jersey
while she's already standing on the field.
Also, when I read about these girls peeing on their rivals' field and then posting the pictures on the internet, my first thought was "hee hee hee."
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