Strollerderby

Browse by Tags

(RSS)
  • Should Autistic Children Be Separated From Other Kids?

    Magi Klages, an 8 year old autistic girl, was kicked out of a Girl Scout troop because the other kids were afraid of her.The Disabled Politico blog raises an interesting question regarding Magi Klages, the 8-year-old girl who was kicked out of her Brownie troop after an incident that stems from her autism.

    Basically, they wonder if having a separate "disabled kids' troop" is a good idea. "Regardless of the intention, the segregation of children with disabilities teaches all children the wrong message." I tend to agree. But a commenter on the site counters with the following: "Mainstreaming is a wonderful concept. The execution leaves a lot to be desired."

    Read More...


  • Autistic Girl Kicked Out Of Girl Scouts

    Magi Klages, an 8 year old autistic girl, was kicked out of a Girl Scout troop because the other kids were afraid of her.This is messed up.

    Magi Klages, an 8 year old autistic girl, has been a Girl Scout since she was 6. According to ABC News, her "Brownie troop grew too large". So they put her in a smaller troop with only four other girls, all of whom have special needs.

    Read More...


  • Mainstreaming Special-Needs Kids May Suck

    eric swim gogglesTwo weeks ago I met with my youngest son's teacher and a couple of other personnel in order to decide his fate for the coming year. For those of you who are familiar with the special-needs parlance, it was his annual ISP (Individual Service Plan) meeting. The meeting that will determine how much therapy he gets, what the years goals are, and essentially how much attention he'll get over the next year. And yes, it's almost impossible to imagine where a four-year-old will be in a year in terms of his abilities. So the uselessness quotient of the ISP has not escaped me.

    However, it came up in discussions, now that he's getting bigger, where he might be headed in the future: mainstream school? A special-needs classroom? Which is better? And how do you know? It turns out there's no easy answer, and many parents say that the mainstreaming of the past has done more harm than good.

     

    Read More...


  • Congresswoman's Baby Has Down Syndrome

    eric down syndromeDear U.S. Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers,

    I read recently that your new baby has been diagnosed with Down syndrome. Believe me, I can completely relate; my son Eric is now three and it wasn't long ago that I began the same journey of grief and acceptance that you are beginning. (This is him in the photo; isn't he beautiful?) I have a few words of advice for you.

    First, don't listen to anyone else. That's right, not even me. Only you know best what's right for your child. There are plenty of "expert" out there who will be more than happy to tell you what your son Cole's life will look like. Don't believe them. Right now, his possibilities are endless. Know that, truly believe that, and they will be so.

    Read More...


  • Special-Needs Kids: In-Your-Face or Mainstreamin'?

    bipolar kid bumperstickerI'm not yet sure what to think about this new book and website called "Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid!". It's billed as a humorous alternative to the "My Kid Is An Honor Student" bumpersticker mentality, but it just comes across as a lot of sour grapes to me.

    I'm the mom of a kid with special needs, and while it may be that we've yet to experience some of the discrimination and rude comments that many kids with special needs and their parents seem to face, I wonder whether the best way to address this ignorance is to throw the rudeness back? I don't know, maybe I live in a big rainbow-colored Happy Bubble, but it seems to me that education, not a big in-your-face "Shut Up About Your Kid!" is what will really change people's misperceptions about kids with special needs and their, well, needs.

    And, too, why the need to continually set these kids apart? Yes, it's good to acknowledge and honor their differences, but I think there's a fine line between acknowledging and shoving it in someone's face. I want my kid to be regarded as a person first and foremost, not as his special-needs label. I'm afraid that this "Shut Up" site is only creating a wider gap between the so-called "perfect" kids and the "imperfect" ones. "Perfect"?? None of my kids are perfect, and neither am I, but I don't go around wearing a label about it.

    Can't they all just be "kids"?  Wonderful, beautiful kids?


  • Study: Moms of Autistic Kids Bond More

    holding handsShattering what I perceive is a stereotype about autism, a recent study shows that moms of kids with autism bond more with them and have better coping skills than do moms of kids without autism. Wow! This is huge news! On the flip side, the same study shows that these moms also had a higher rate of stress and poorer mental health 

    As a mom myself of a child with special needs, I can completely understand what appears to be a conundrum here. There is a certain "rise-to-the-occasion" element that becomes necessary when parenting a kid with special needs. Often you have to act as spokesperson, translator, and advocate for this small person entursted to you who can't easily communicate with the world outside. This creates a hugely intense bond; often much of the communication is completely wordless.

    In turn, there are also stresses placed on the parents of children with special needs that other parents for the most part don't experience to the same degree.  There is more anticipation, more planning, more understanding, and often more patience required, all which create stress. Add to that the worry that looms for years about how this child will fare in the world when they're grown.

    And then there is the biggest question of all: will the rest of the world see my child for himself, or for the label he wears? And for moms of kids with autism, who have long been regarded as difficult to bond with, this delicate balance is both beautifully and painfully evident.




  • Kids With Disabilities Find New Freedom on Bikes

    bicycleA rite of passage for pretty much every kid these days is riding a bike for the first time. I remember my first bike, the one that wasn't a tricycle. It was a red Murray of which I was very proud despite the degrading training wheels. Later I graduated to a green Schwinn and applied a playing card to the spokes with a clothespin like every other kid in the neighborhood, making the telltale clack-clack-clack sound that accompanied us down the street. But some kids have a lot bigger challenge facing them to ride a bike than getting over training wheels.What do kids do who can't even walk or hold their heads up straight because they're challenged by something like cerebral palsy?

    In Jacksonville, Florida, many kids who can't walk, sit up, or even talk are finding they can ride a bike. They're riding specially-adapted bikes provided by the local Children's Hospital in a program that gives parents (and kids) the chance to try out such bikes before making the huge (up to $3000) investment that often isn't covered by insurance. I'm thrilled there is such a program and I'm guessing that there are similar ones going nationwide. (Here's one program and here's a resource.)

     



  • Life Planning: Parents of Kids With Disabilities Must Plan for the Future

    financial planningI know, I know. Planning ahead for your financial future is as much fun as stapling your thumbs to a table, but ya just gotta grit your teeth and do it. Like with flossing. Not that I've taken my own advice, mind you, but when you have children it ups the ante considerably, especially when you have a child with a disability, in which case things go into overdrive. But if this is you, you've got plenty of company: in addition to me, a total of 60% of us parents of kids with special needs haven't planned ahead, at least as of two years ago.

    My youngest has Down syndrome, and although he's only three I've noticed that even though in general I think of parenting him in the same way I do my other children, at least one thing is different: I wonder more about his future. When you have a child with special needs you find yourself in a different world sometimes, and even though I can't possibly imagine my cherubic three-year-old as an adult yet, I see that suddenly I have found myself asking questions that I wouldn't necessarily ask concerning my other children, questions like, Where will he live?  Will he or can he live independently? Can he work? Is his disability income going to be enough to provide for him? Do I need to set up a trust fund? How is it accessed, when and by whom? What happens when I'm (gasp) old? And what about my retirement? Can I still look forward to playing shuffleboard in Boca Raton? (oops, that's my grandparents' retirement; mine would be living in an artist's/writer's garret in Paris with my laptop and my iPod and seven cats.)

    These questions and more can be answered by a financial planner, who will be glad to take a chunk of your money in return for some peace of mind about your child and their future. Although the planning service mentioned here is Chicago-specific, it's easy enough to find someone in your area, and a simple Google search will reveal them.

    Go ahead, do this. And then please come back and report to me, because it's my turn next. 


  • Special Needs Families Finding Strength in Numbers With Group Playdates

    family playdateRedheaded Momma writes about her recent family playdate with other families of children with special needs at a local Y, and the entire family returns rejuvenated. As a mom of a child with special needs, I can relate. How nice to hang with families who get the lingo, who know the issues, while at the same time being in an environment where the last thing you talk about is therapy, or special-needs-specific acronyms like EI or IEP, while letting kids just be, well, kids.

    The family playdate: what a huge concept! Special-needs or not, they're a wonderful idea. Though I actively resisted these labeled group activities for a long time after my son was born, I would totally welcome such an opportunity now. I think I'll start with local support groups and move from there. Playdate, anyone?  


  • "Indigos," "Crystals" & Jenny McCarthy: Have You Heard About This?!?

    I stumbled across a blurb about Jenny McCarthy and her autistic son, Evan, the other day.  I discovered that Jenny identifies as an "Indigo adult," and considers her son a "Crystal child."  As you are probably wondering, so was I: what exactly does that mean?  Upon further reading and research, I discovered a huge amount of online information about Indigos and Crystals, and the belief that "indigo/crystal phenomenon is the next step in our evolution as a human species."

    Want to know more?  Keep reading, but be warned: I'm about to drop some serious metaphysical shit on you.  For real.  

    Read More...


  • Disabled Boy Turned Down for Daycare

    disabled daycare boyDiscrimination in daycare:  an Austin boy has been repeatedly turned down by provider after provider for daycare because of his disability.  Dustyn Henson is eleven and is in a wheelchair due to his cerebral palsy.  The daycare providers who have turned him down, however, claim that the wheelchair isn't the problem.  No, it's his pants.  Dustyn can manage pretty much everything himself during the course of his day but can't undo and redo the fastening on his pants when it's time to use the bathroom.  Daycare providers have therefore denied him service, claiming that child protection laws prevent them from helping Dustyn with his pants.

    Say what?  A daycare provider practically potty-trained my older daughter; are you telling me that they never touched her pants to do so?

    It sounds to me that the daycare providers in question are skipping out on their burden to be accommodating to children with special needs.  There could be more to this story of course, but it appears that Dustyn's family is making very few demands in terms of accommodation.  We're talking about doing a button on the boy's pants here!  Not, say, intubating him or providing therapy or any number of other special-needs accommodation-type requests.  Dustyn's mom, Niki, has appealed their case to the state of Texas, and I'm hoping some workable resolution can be found for this family.  Until then, Niki will have difficulty being able to work without care for her son.

     



  • One Mom, One Child: The Gift of Down Syndrome

    Down syndrome baby AdaraAs the mother of a child with Down syndrome, I cannot help but be thrilled when I read articles like Abigail Braithwaite's heartfelt essay about life with her daughter with Down syndrome in yesterday's Washington Post.  Her experiences with her nine-month-old daughter Adara seem to mirror my own with my son at that age in so many ways, and her frankness about her life with this tiny, charming girl is refreshing.  In order to truly educate people on what it's like raising a child with special needs, it's important to tell the whole story: the tears of frustration over things you cannot control, the myriad ways you have to develop of doing things differently just to help your child survive, the grief for the child you thought you were going to have, and finally the acceptance and realization of just who it is that's come to live with you and give to you their extraordinary gifts.

    Abigail's essay will likely help bring about new perspectives to people about what it's like to raise or be a person with Down syndrome.  For her, it's summed up this way:  "I have long said I am one of the luckiest people I know. This belief has been shaken a couple of times in the past months, but I will stand by those words today. Life is a wild journey; our job is to make the most of it."

    I'll add to it:  I cannot imagine my life without my son Eric, now that he is here.  My life and my perspective about so very many things have changed immensely because of him, and I can't wait to see him continue to bring his gifts to me, my family, and to everyone he meets.


  • LinkLove: The Mother At the Swings

    swingsWriter Vicki Forman has a new column up at Literary Mama about her experiences raising a son with multiple special needs. Her take on the vast differences between parenting a "normal" child and one with special needs is poignantly expressed in her essay The Mother at the Swings.  It turns out?  We aren't so very different, but we need a common language to help bridge the gap, and there is none.

    I've mentioned here before that my youngest son has Down syndrome.  After being a "regular" mother for sixteen years, I was suddenly thrown into this very weird world where nothing is the same and yet everything is the same.  Those of you who have crossed into this world can understand this, and the rest of you?  Read Vicki Forman's column for a glimpse. Then maybe we can all have a wonderful chat over the swings (and maybe also a nice glass of wine, but that's another story entirely).


  • Strike Three for Diversity" New Prenatal Testing Guidelines Require Down Syndrome Screening

    The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has recently issued a new guideline suggesting that every mom-to-be, regardless of her age, undergo a screening test for Down syndrome.  As the mother of a 3-year old who happens to also have Down syndrome, this new guideline is of particular interest to me.

    The previous guideline recommended prenatal testing at or above age 35, but the age delineation has been dropped because the medical community finally got wise to what moms and dads have known all along, that there is no magic jump in the incidence of babies born with Down syndrome at the maternal age of 35.  Indeed, though there is a gradual statistical increase in risk -- from one in 1,200 at age 25 to about one in 300 at age 35 -- women under 35 actually give birth to most of the babies born with Down syndrome.

    The newest testing method is a first-trimester screening that combines blood tests with an ultrasound exam, called a "nuchal translucency test", that measures the thickness of the back of the fetal neck. The test is performed between 11 and 13 weeks gestation, and is considered "more than 80% accurate". Although this is all well and good, and may well avoid some unnecessary amniocenteses and therefore the fetal risk associated with that more invasive test, I have to wonder -- what exactly are people going to do with this new information?

    I had no prenatal testing with my son.  If I had done so and the test correctly suggested that my son would have had Down syndrome, I would have immediately been bombarded with pressure from all over to "do something" about the baby, to "make a decision".  Hello?  What, exactly, is there to do?  A baby is a baby.  Where do you draw the line?  Babies with Down syndrome are "okay", but babies with, say, more serious issues, or expensive-to-treat medical issues, are not?  Or, a baby with Down syndrome would be okay, but only if he is "high-functioning".  Right?

    For perhaps the first time ever I can say I side with a Catholic group who states, "...it could lead to women seeing that because their child has a genetic defect that they would seek an abortion". Since when did eugenics creep so stealthily into our accepted medical midst?  What happened to "inclusion" and "diversity"?  Is this, really, where we as a society wish to head?  Take another look at that baby up there and then tell me.


  • LinkLove: Navigating the Holidays With Special Needs Kids

    I've been loving this blog for years and am stoked to have such a great excuse to share it with y'all: Leelo and His Potty-mouthed Mom's tips for surviving the holidays with an autistic child. And truly, these are great things to keep in mind even if your children don't have special needs; kids of all stripes get overstimulated by the noise, the sugar, the strangers, the travel. Take it to heart.
     



in

GROUP BLOGS

  • Strollerderby

    The smartest, funniest, most exhaustive parenting blog in the blogosphere.
  • Droolicious

    Modern design for modern parents.
  • FameCrawler

    Your daily baby celebrity fix.
back to blog homepage