Strollerderby

Family Movie Night: Meet The Robinsons

2008-07-06T21:00:00Z

Like "The Wild", this movie could also be subtitled "Why we had to buy Pixar." It's a much more ambitious story than "Wild" but it just doesn't work.

The plot is convoluted but it involves time travel and what happens when you change the past, or something. I normally love that sort of thing (space-time continuum, represent!) but this time (pun intended) it just bothered me. Our hero is an orphan, which is always a pleasurable subject when watching a movie with young children; to be fair to my kids, neither one was fazed, so maybe I'm the one with the problem. The kid looks like Jonathan Lipnicky after he grows up, slims down and becomes truly weird. Of course, he's really a genius, and there's a villain out to get him but it's really the villain's hat that's in charge... or something. It's kind of a blur. The design elements are good. Pixar's John Lasseter was involved, which may account for the above-average visuals. But what works so well for Pixar -- well-written scripts, straightforward stories, combined with by far the best animation currently being produced -- completely eludes the Disney team here. Not nearly as painful to sit through as "The Wild", but still not great.

image: Amazon.com

Family Movie Night: Everyone's Hero

Family Movie Night – Curious George

Screw twin Earth, I'm going to Mars

Want to know about the twin Earths? Ask people with twins!

High Fructose Corn Syrup Is the Same As Honey?

2008-07-06T19:00:00Z

Some of my best friends are honest PR professionals. I know such critters exist. But honest PR professionals must not work for the high fructose corn syrup industry. How do I know this?

Witness their recent campaign to rescue HFCS from consumers who would rather their sweeteners didn't require a complex chemical process. Their argument? The FDA says HFCS is natural; therefore it is. If memory serves, the FDA also attempted to declare ketchup a vegetable.

This PR campaign has been unleashed because more American parents are reading the labels of the foods they buy and rejecting those that list HFCS as an ingredient. If nothing else, it's heartening to know that consumer choice is having an impact on the corn industry.

What's disheartening is the lengths that said industry will go to in order to convince that same consumer of a correlation (honey and maple syrup are the same as HFCS) that is only vaguely true in a very limited set of definitions.

Put your clothes on and step away from the porcupine

2008-07-06T15:34:00Z

Admittedly, I have no confirmation that these laws are actually on the books. And a commenter at snopes points out that the "Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida" law probably just addresses beastiality in general, rather than prohibiting spiny-backed sex objects. Regardless of veracity, it's a funny list, and they certainly sound plausible. For example:

- Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal in Georgia.

- Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona.

- In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm.

- It is illegal in Utah to marry your first cousin before the age of 65.

That last one is my favorite. I mean, other than cheaper movie tickets, who wants to marry your cousin when they get that old?

(source)

image: Brittanica.com

Attack of the Strippers

Personal Training for Vaginas

Watermelon the same as Viagra – maybe

Babble Talk: The Paci Problem

2008-07-06T12:32:00Z

Pamela Appea knows all about sucking. As she writes in the latest Bad Parent essay, she is addicted to giving her son, who is almost 2, a pacifier.

"The pacifier nips a kicking, crying, screaming toddler temper tantrum right in the bud," she writes. "And my son automatically reaches for his pacifier when he needs something more than a book to read or some milk to drink or a playmate to hug. Why are people so eager to give up such a magic bullet?"

Well, there's the usual list of reasons: That pacifier-sucking can cause ear infections, mess up baby teeth and possibly stunt emotional growth. The essay offers strong evidence that the first two aren't necessarily true and anecdotal proof that the third is b.s., too. But to me, it's the third issue that makes most of us so eager to convince our children to ditch the 'ol binky.

Even if pacifiers don't actually lead to psychological problems (and I seriously doubt they do), they imply weakness, especially in older children. If a kid has to put one of those in his mouth, some people assume he is insecure or easily upset or just unable to get a grip. Which is completely unfair and unfounded. But as parents, we assume that's what others are thinking about our precious paci-lovers, which is why we are so eager to wean them off the things as soon as possible. After all, if our kids seem weak in any way, that makes us lousy parents, doesn't it?

I totally relate to Appea's dilemma. My husband and I also are trying to slowly dial back on our son's paci-using. But at bedtime, without fail, he begs for it. So I feel better knowing that other parents also struggle with this and even relish going back to the paci well when they need it. And like Appea, I trust that he'll grow out of it when he's ready and become a well-adjusted little boy, one who totally doesn't suck.

Image: Marigold Haske/Babble.com

Old Babe Makes Olympics

2008-07-05T16:32:00Z

Proving that 40 is the new 30, Dana Torres, superstar swim sensation and mother, made her 5th Olympic Team this week.

Old babes everywhere rejoice.

Ms. Torres will be the oldest American to make the Olympics team heading to Beijing this summer.

The XXIX Olympiad will require her to be away from her 2 year old daughter for a month. This is the only downside to her making the grade, according to Ms. Torres.

[Photo Credit: Sports Illustrated]

Who is babysitting the Kid-Rods?

2008-07-05T16:00:00Z

At least some part of the A-Rod/Madonna/C-Rod/Lenny Kravitz bizarre love square is true (C-Rod is the new name for Cynthia Rodriguez, wife of Alex, in case you didn't know). Kravitz denies that he and Mrs. Rod are having an affair, and the fact that he reportedly isn't even in Paris lends some credibility to that claim. But Cynthia is definitely in The City of Light, and the New York Post has the photo to prove it. PLUS she isn’t wearing her $150,000 engagement ring. Also, Cynthia's mom Evangeline told the Post, "We've known about this for a long time. Everyone else is shocked, but we're not shocked…My daughter is a very good girl. She has high values." Not exactly a full-on confirmation, but it's close.

Now, I have a question, one also asked by Boston teacher DeDe White in today's New York Post: um, don't these people have young children?

Normally the phrase "but what about the children?" is used as a club to bludgeon people who have the audacity to schedule golf tournaments involving strippers at the same time that 7 year olds will be hitting the links. In this case, though, I think it's fair to ask who's taking care of the 10 week old bambina, not to mention the 4 year old. Grandpa Rod (actually it was Cynthia's father, John Scurtis, but Grandpa Rod is funnier) told the Post that the Kid-Rods were "being taken care of" but didn't say anything more than that. It's certainly possible that the little ones are in Paris with mom but I sort of doubt it.

(Aside: if you google "a-rod children", the first link that pops up is news from 2007 on his official web site that his children's book is being released. I guess he and Madonna have authorship in common.)

Another thing: I always wonder who these "friends" are that get quoted in gossip stories like these. What kind of "close friend" yaks to the media like that, even off the record?

image: New York Post

A-Rod Asks for Divorce

Lou Gehrig Day on July 4th

Attack of the Strippers

Cynthia Finds Love Letter From A-Rod To Madonna

Best of FameCrawler: Week of July 4th

2008-07-04T21:00:00Z

Jennifer Aniston-Mama To Be?

A-Rod's Wife Cynthia Rodriguez Dating Madonna's Ex Lenny Kravitz

Christina Aguilera Keeps Marriage Alive With Cocktails

Remember When Entertainment Tonight Insisted That The Brangelina Twins Were Already Born...?

Nicole Kidman's Heartbreak

Birth for Angelina Jolie? They Say it Happened!

Cindy Brady Gone Wild!

OMG! Britney Has A Boyfriend - You'll Never Guess!

Gwyneth Paltrow, Without Pants

Guy Ritchie's Mother Is Fuming Over Madonna Divorce Talk

Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber Expecting Baby #2

Maggie Gyllenhaal Makes Choices With Ramona In Mind

Lou Gehrig Day on July 4th

2008-07-04T20:00:00Z

July 4th is also a special day for baseball fans. July 4th, 1939 was "Lou Gehrig Appreciation Day." Gehrig, who earned the nickname "The Iron Horse" for playing in 2,130 consecutive games (a record broken by Cal Ripken, Jr. in 1995), had become seriously ill and was forced to retire from playing. After an emotional series of speeches, Gehrig stepped up to the mic and addressed the crowd, delivering the now immortal line, "I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth." Despite my cynicism when it comes to most things, this video still gets me misty-eyed. Yes, sports are just another form of entertainment, but there are times when certain events just get to you. This is definitely one of them.

A couple of trivia questions to hit people with at your barbeque tonight: Gehrig's record for the most grand slams in a season, 23, still stands. "Lou Gehrig Appreciation Day" was held one week before the All-Star Game was played at Yankee Stadium, which is also where the All-Star Game will be held this year. And after retiring, he took a job as the New York City Parole Commissioner, turning down more lucrative job offers; he then went to visit prisons, asking that the media not follow him. (source) Can you imagine Alex "it's all about me" Rodriquez doing something like that? Um, no.

Bottom line: great player, great Yankee, and by all accounts, a real class act.

Video of the speech is below, or click here for the text.

Watermelon the same as Viagra – maybe

10 July 4th Activities

Kitchenista: Red, White and Cool

image: Wikipedia

Seven Ideas to Reduce Spending on Food

2008-07-04T18:30:00Z

With food budgets getting tighter and tighter, it's time to start rethinking how we eat. One good way to start that process is to remember what it was like to be a poor college student. If you never had the thrill of long weeks spent eating ramen noodles and debating Nietzsche, convinced that you could solve every problem in the world with your big brain, imagine that you're trapped in a 10x12 room with nothing but a hot plate.

With headers like "Augment" and "Eggs," Trent's ideas are pretty easy to both follow and put into action. Is it gourmet fare? No. Is it healthy and inexpensive? You betcha.

Take all of those saved dollars and buy yourself a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Just one chapter will have you feeling much better about the economic downturn, if only because you are not German, very sad and dead.

Tyra Learns to Breast Feed

2008-07-04T17:30:00Z

In honor of Independence Day, I thought I'd share this gem of a YouTube with you all, because what could be more American than supermodels learning to breastfeed on national TV? And only Tyra could make fake feeding a fake baby look both terrifying and erotic.

Enjoy!

Photo: trendsetter.wordpress.com

Eat This! Baby Vs. Pickle

2008-07-04T17:00:00Z

What's the point?, you might ask. It's Friday, that's the point. Everybody has one of these videos at home. Mine is of my son sucking on a lime. You can not deny it, watching babies eat sour things is a novelty that never grows old.

Video courtesy of www.stupidvideos.com

Cindy Brady Pukes During Radio Interview

2008-07-04T16:02:00Z

Today, I lost my innocence.

CNN is reporting that Susan Olsen, whom the rest of us call Cindy Brady, interrupted an early morning radio interview by covering her mouth, rolling back her chair and heading out the door to go puke. Reason? Hangover.

Mercifully, she made it to the bathroom. Curiously, her 10-year-old son witnessed the whole thing. And sadly, Cindy (Susan, fine, whatever!) looks like shit.

Happily, however, she retains a bit of the lisp, which actually winds up disconcerting as she defends herself to the camera -- "At leathhht I made it to the bathroom!" and "Thhho I had too much wine!" (followed by "I don't drink!" Huh?) and finally, bringing it all around to her kid, "Hey! Thithh is how they learn!" Indeed! (Wait, what's he learning?)

Watch the video here.

The annoying DJ, interviewed after the unexpected intermission, acts all caught off guard and widens his eyes just a little too much. No word on what they were discussing and why she was on the show but she's probably going to book a few more interviews in the coming days.

Barfy talk, barfy talk, it's a wonder you can walk.

(And the grown-up, cleaned-up, likely not hungover Olsen, here with son - who looks a lot like Cindy Brady, no?)

Rich or Rehab: What's Happening With Dee From 'What's Happening!!'?

Photo: bradybunchshrine.com,

Mom Uses Beer to Halt Attack on Daughter

2008-07-04T15:32:00Z

On this day when we celebrate the birth of America, we salute the most American thing of all: The use of beer to fend off intruders.

When a man broke into her California home in the middle of the night and attacked her in bed, 45-year-old Linda Dodson attempted to fight him off, even biting his hand. But it was Dodson's 71-year-old mother, who was sleeping in an adjacent room, who really thought on her feet. After she tried to pry the guy off her daughter and the burly burglar slammed her into the wall, the older woman sniffed a whiff of alcohol on his breath.

"I just looked at him because I could tell he had been drinking and I said, I don't know about you, but I could use a beer, how about you?" she said, as reported in the L.A. Times. "And he said yes."

So the two women and the guy who just tried to beat them up sat down in the kitchen and threw back a few. Each of the ladies got up separately to use the bathroom and, at some point, Dodson was able to sneak off and call 911. The intruder, Louie Herrera, was subsequently arrested.

See, that's the kind of mom I want to be: One who is smart enough to know that beer can distract someone from harming my kids. But what I really want to know is what the three of them possibly could have talked about while they sucked down those brews.

"Hey, remember that time ten minutes ago, when you tried to strangle me? Man, those were the days."

"Have you seen 'Iron Man' yet?"

"So do you break into houses like this a lot? Or do you do something else for a living?"

The good news is that no one was hurt and the dude, who also happens to be a convicted child molester, is in prison. And, as often happens, it was a mom who saved the day.

Is Mother Earth Pro-Choice?

2008-07-04T14:30:00Z

People rarely link sex to global warming. But any activity that occurs 215 million times a day is bound to affect global health. And it’s high time we started talking about it, according to environmentalist and author Robert Engleman, who has a new book called More: Population, Nature, and What Women Want.

In an interview with Reuters, Engleman discussed the delicacy of bringing this issue into mainstream dialogue: “[E]ven to bring it up, as an issue, it sounds as though you are telling other people how many children to have, and that is unforgivable as reproduction and having children is so sensitive and so personal.” He explained that racial sensitivity makes the issue even more volatile: in general, Northern Caucasians have fewer babies than other demographics.

But Engleman is not afraid to (gently) name the problem: “[W]e wouldn’t be facing a potentially catastrophically changing climate if we hadn’t had to feed and care for an unprecedentedly large human population." Although homo sapiens have now succeeded in dominating every “nook and cranny” of the globe, we must keep in mind that the planet has its own ways of dealing with overpopulation. Hopefully, we can slow population growth enough on our own to prevent tragedies like famine or disease.

Engleman believes that the way to do this is to give women reproductive freedom. He points out that women tend to have more children when their environment is healthy, and fewer children when their environment is, say, heating up at an alarming yearly rate.

For this reason, Engleman doesn’t believe that governments should tell women what to do or should take any measures to encourage or discourage procreation. Rather, he feels that if women have access to quality reproductive healthcare, they naturally make the right decisions for themselves and the planet.

Photo: Reuters

Attack of the Strippers

2008-07-04T14:00:00Z

During a children's golf tournament in Broomfield, Colorado, the children were exposed to -- and I hope you are sitting down as you read this -- strippers. That's right. They actually saw women who dance and take their clothes off while men throw money at them.

Were the women naked? No. Were they -- again, stay seated, this is a bombshell that could shake you to the very core of your being -- scantily clad? Yes, dear reader, they were. Undies. According to CBSNews.com, the children wanted to know why "the men joining the strippers had water guns and why the women wore only their underwear." (That must have been a fun conversation.) Evelyn Koch, the manager of the golf course, apologized for the fact that the "children were present when the strippers arrived."

As you may have guessed, I don't think this is a very big deal. I mean, who cares? The thing about kids and certain things that people have problems with is that oftentimes the kids don't really notice or care. This, methinks, is one of those times. Maybe its because I live in Manhattan, and walk past a strip club every morning when I walk my youngest son to school. Granted, it's early in the morning and there's not any activity going on. But, like, who cares?

For the record, the barely naked ladies were participating in a charity golf outing to benefit a breast cancer organization. The kids weren't raising money for anything. Take that, moral majority!

image: golflogic

Crafty: Bubbles!

2008-07-04T13:00:00Z

Even if every store in your area is closed because of the holiday, you can still put together this bubblicious craft with things you already have in your house. Consider this a project for when the long wait between barbecue and fireworks is making your kids antsy.

Super Foam-erator inventor (and Felt Goddess) Betz White is a genius. With just the top of a water bottle and a washcloth she has made a toy that will fascinate one and all. You might want to make more than one, if you have enough of the components on hand.

The Super Foam-erator might even be a decent substitute for sparklers -- or a good way to extinguish those that have gotten out of control. Be safe out there!

Photo credit: Betz White

Controversy: Hurts So Good

2008-07-04T12:04:00Z

My post "Toddler Survies For Six Days After Mom Dies," provoked one reader to plead - both in a comment on the post and in an email sent to all the Strollerderby writers - "Pleeeease stop posting horrible stories like this on this blog. I come to this site for entertainment and for helpful information, not to hear disturbing things like this."

This is something we are constantly mulling over amongst ourselves: is this story too gruesome? Is the tone of this piece too offensive? Is this really what our readers want to hear?

And what the numbers say is, yes, our readers want to read even the most grisly and tragic stories: the stories about the baby born with eight limbs, the baby born with two faces, the Austrian who kept his daughter and the children she bore by him in his basement for years have all been immensely popular. To give you an idea, about 70 posts went up on the Derby this past week. the "Toddler Survives . . ." post received more hits than all but six of them.

As far as the "entertainment" and "helpful information" - well, posts like "Teen Pregnancies On The Decline" and "No Presents For This Kid - Just Donations," got fewer than half the hits.

And believe me, I'm not passing judgment. I shut myself in my basement for a cathartic 42 minutes of sobbing through "Law and Order SVU" while pumping away on my elliptical trainer at least once a week.

But I don't believe we're all just morbidly curious - although I'm sure that plays a part. I can't help but think that these horrible stories serve some purpose - somehow make our own problems seem far more bearable, give us some much needed perspective. It can't be bad to break out of our narcissistic self-involvement and engage emotionally with the world, can it?

Or maybe this is all justification, and lingering over these kinds of stories is no better than gawking at a car wreck. I'm no expert - what do you think?

Personal Training for Vaginas

2008-07-03T23:27:00Z

You know feminism has succeeded when the world’s first spa devoted solely to toning vaginal walls opens up in New York City. That’s right, ladies: now you can pamper yourselves with Kegel exercises and cosmetic laser treatments to tighten your vulva skin—because in the words of Dr. Lauri Romanzi, the innovative founder of Phit (Pelvic Health Integrated Techniques), postmenopausal women’s vaginas can become downright “scrotal.” Ew! Scrotums are gross.

Fortunately, for only $150 the charming Dr. Romanzi will give you a personal diagnosis of your pelvic fitness. Then she’ll prescribe a regimen of pelvic exercises that she prefers to call “personal training.” She may even suggest that you buy your very own electrostimulation machine to improve your pelvic muscle tone. (Don’t get too excited: they don’t vibrate.)

You may be surprised to learn that many medical professionals think “pelvic fitness” is nothing but a joke. While pelvic exercises are sometimes prescribed for women with minor urinary incontinence, several gynecologists interviewed for the New York Times story on Phit said there is no medical reason for healthy women to pursue a “pelvic fitness” regimen. As one white-robed naysayer put it, “The common practice in gynecology is we treat where there is a problem."

But Dr. Romanzi takes a more aesthetic view of preventive care. “If you can vote and you have a vagina, you should do these [pelvic exercises],” she said, leaving me to wonder: What the hell does voting have to do with it? I don’t know about yours, but my hoo-hoo could care less about politics. Maybe I should enroll her in a political science class right after her personal training session....

Photo: New York Times

Watermelon the same as Viagra – maybe

2008-07-03T20:30:00Z

I can see the commercial now: Bob Dole staggers in, explaining to America that he, too, has had issues with E.D. "Bob Dole is all man. But sometimes even Bob Dole has trouble with E.D. That's why Bob Dole eats lots and lots of watermelon! That's why on this July 4th, Bob Dole is going to pitch a tent!" He winks. "And Bob Dole ain't talking about camping…"

Bhimu Patil, a researcher at the hilariously named "Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center" at Texas A&M University, says that "Watermelon has more citrulline in the edible part than previously believed." (I wonder if he spent time gnawing on the rind before he figured this out.) Citrulline is an amino acid that can become arginine, which is another amino acid. "This is a precursor for nitric oxide, and the nitric oxide will help in blood vessel dilation." In other words, BOING!

(Or you could just look at pictures of boobs. Whatever works.)

Of course, Patil doesn't know quite how much watermelon one should eat. Scarfing down 10 watermelon balls (heh heh – Beavis, he said "balls") would give a person "about 150 milligrams of citrulline," but Roger Clemens, a professor of pharmacology at USC, cites one study that found "volunteers who drank three 8-ounce glasses of watermelon juice daily for three weeks boosted their arginine levels by 11%." (Roger Clemens, the former major league pitcher who is well versed in both drugs and erections, was not interviewed for this article.)

Bottom line? It appears to be much ado about melon. There's not much to back up this theory other than, you know, it's the sort of news that can get attention near July 4th. Still, even the naysaying researchers agree that it's fine to enjoy as much watermelon as you like, as long as you don't think it's going to, you know, get you going down there. But it couldn't hurt, right?

image: thestandingroom.com

Parent/Kid: 10 July 4th Activity Ideas

Kitchenista: Red, White and Cool

Political Nanny: Boobs for Obama and (Un)Covering the Body Politic

School District Refuses 5-Year-Old Because Of His Hair

2008-07-03T19:26:00Z

Kenney Arocha and Michelle Betenbaugh decided to raise their young son, Adriel, according to Native American traditions. So, believing that hair holds spiritual meaning, they haven't cut Adriel's - choosing instead to keep it long and braided.

But not everyone, it seems, appreciates this family's attempt to pass on their heritage. Texas' Needville Independent School District has refused to accept Adriel for kindergarten next year because his long hair violates its dress code, which requires that hair not cover eyes or ears.

There is a religious exemption to the code, but Superintendent Curtis Rhodes says "proof" is required of what "recognized religion" requires its members not cut their hair. Apparently, honoring tradition isn't "proof" enough.

The District will discuss at their next meeting whether or not to exempt Adriel from the dress code. If he's not admitted, the family plans on retaining a lawyer.

Man-Mom Gives Birth to Baby Girl

2008-07-03T18:45:00Z

Awwww. He finally gave birth!

Everybody's favorite knocked up transgender man, Thomas Beatie, is now the proud father of a beautiful baby girl. According to an ABC News source, the birth was "natural" ("natural" is undefined, which gets on my nerves. Do they mean vaginal? Without drugs?) and not a planned c-section as had been rumored.

Well, that's just swell. No word yet on the name, but I kind of hope it's something super-girly, like Tiffany.

Some background on Beatie in case you have been living under a rock (from ABCnews.com):

Born a woman, Beatie, 34, who had his breasts surgically removed and legally changed his gender from female to male, leaped to prominence around the world in April when the wispy bearded man revealed he was pregnant.

Despite years of taking hormones and living outwardly as a man, Beatie maintained that he retained his female sex organs because he intended one day to get pregnant.

How much will the family sell the wee one's exclusive baby pictures for? I'm hoping millions!

Pregnant Man Thomas Beatie Gives Birth!!!

Who is What on Beatie Baby Birth Certificate?

Is Beatie Bad Press for the Transgendered?

Photo: ABCNews.com

Parenting While Poor

2008-07-03T18:30:00Z

Fingers are easy to point when it comes to poverty in the developed world. But once you start to unpack the issue, it's hard to know exactly where that finger ought to aim. No, child welfare isn't a sexy topic. Still, we ought to be able to pay just a little bit of attention to something that has a negative impact on kids.

This piece by Gaylynn Burroughs in the Huffington Post breaks down the larger fears that a poor parent deals with on a daily basis. It's a sobering reality check for those of us who infrequently worry that our kids will get sucked into our state's child protective service system because we can't afford to feed them.

Sadly, Burroughs doesn't have any great solutions on offer because the problem is complex enough to not have an easy fix. Still, a little education can't hurt, right?

10 July 4th Activities

2008-07-03T16:02:00Z

I remember our first 4th of July with the twins. They were just 6 months old and we lived in an old neighborhood in Seattle with a distant but unobstructed view of the downtown fireworks.

Because of our distance, the little babies weren't disturbed by loud pops and booms and we could sit on our darkened front porch and enjoy the view. If your kids get spooked by loud explosions as mine do, you might need to find a lower key alternative to dragging them downtown. Here are 5 suggestions from my six year olds and 5 suggestions from me:

Question: "Ladies what would you like to do for 4th of July this year?"

Answer:

1. Looking at fireworks

2. Watch a movie with popcorn

3. Sit out on the night and look at the stars.

4. You could buy us a sparkler

5. Go on a special outing like going to a carnival

Here are my 5 suggestions:

1. Picnic - When my kids are older, I'm sure we'll take them downtown spread out a huge blanket and eat watermelon while watching the night light display. Until then, we're having a low-key picnic at home, inviting some friends and family over and enjoying some BBQ and SlipNSlide action.

2. Parade - Our town has a parade early in the afternoon on the 4th. Of course it's a mob scene, but it usually wrapped up by 5pm or so and the kids love the candy the clowns throw out to the crowds.

3. Camping - Camping on the 4th requires serious intestinal fortitude, but with sufficient advance planning and scouting of spots, you can find a place suitable for families. Last year, we went to an RV park an hour north of our town that had a swimming pool and small store. It was also full of friendly Canadians so hardly any fireworks freaked our kids out at all. In prior years, I would have looked down on the whole thing as "car camping" but the kids had a blast.

4. Block Party - One year we blocked off the street in front of our house and all the young kids had a blast running around playing together. There were the requisite loud fireworks, but they were set off up the street so it wasn't too overwhelming.

5. Swimming at the Lake - This isn't particular to the 4th of July of course, but there are some great swimming spots around our town that won't be as crowded tomorrow evening as people make their way downtown to watch fireworks.

FLDS Fashions Available Online

2008-07-03T16:01:00Z

When watching the FLDS raid and subsequent court battles, I'm sure you had many thoughts going through your head, none of which I will attempt to guess at.

But I can guarantee (if you are a regular around here, anyway) that one thing you probably weren't thinking was "Where can I get my mitts on those clothes!!"

But perhaps your fantasy is to look like you just stepped out of Little House on the Prairie, or you're so concerned with the increasing whoreishness of girls' clothes that you want to just go the other way.

Then get happy, because the women (somehow I know it's the women) of the FLDS have launched their own clothing line. Which is available online, and I don’t really get how that would work since these are people who reject technology. But whatevs.

Also, how are they sewing these things, especially if this takes off? Are they sewing these by hand? How does is not take several decades?

So many questions. And yet, I must admit, I find the little girl's dresses kind of adorable and sort of want one for my daughter, and one of the cute sleepers for my son. What can I say, I loved Little House, books and show.

Mom Arrested After Withholding Cancer Treatments From Autistic Son

2008-07-03T15:32:00Z

In 2004, Jeremy Fraser, of Salem, Massachusetts, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma - a cancer with a recovery rate of 85-90%. And, after undergoing treatment, Jeremy was in remission.

Now, doctors say Jeremy may not live to see his ninth birthday, which is on August 2nd. The reason why his cancer has come back in such an aggressive form? Jeremy's mother, Kristen Anne LaBrie, apparently failed to give him the medicine he needed to stay in remission - she neglected to fill half his prescriptions and canceled more than a dozen doctors' appointments. She was arrested and charged with child endangerment, although the judge set no bail, releasing LaBrie on her own recognizance.

This story has caused quite a stir in the Boston media, with people both condemning and defending LaBrie and Jeremy's dad, Eric Fraser, who now has custody of Jeremy, but wasn't involved in his son's life for several months because of ongoing fights with his ex-wife. But what I can't help wondering is whether LaBrie would have withheld Jeremy's medication - and whether Fraser would have cut himself off from his son - if Jeremy weren't also autistic, and, according to reports, completely nonverbal. After all, it's hard to imagine why on earth any mom would fail to give her own child the medication he needed to survive - unless, maybe subconsciously, she didn't really want him to.

Boston Globe/AP Photos

Mrs. And Mrs. DeGeneres, and a male perspective on the name game

2008-07-03T15:00:00Z

You won't have Portia De Rossi to kick around anymore – well, you will (although why you would want to kick her, I have no idea), but she'll have a new name. According to the Daily News, Portia will take DeGeneres' last name when they officially tie the knot. (I guess that clears up any question about who the "man" in that relationship is, right?)

I do wonder how a gay couple makes this decision. Ellen definitely makes more money, and she is older. She also never wears dresses. OK, maybe in their case it wasn't that difficult. I'll be curious if other gay couples make name-changes as they (hopefully) continue to get legally hitched. (If this issue has come up for any readers, let us know in the comments.)

Interestingly, many women in heterosexual marriages don't change their names, at least judging from the reactions to Adrienne's recent post on the subject. Of course, some women did make the switch, for various reasons: "I didn't have any special attachment to my original name", "I didn't want to change my name, but my husband really wanted me to" are two of the comments.

The subject of names didn't come up when I got married, but it's clearly an issue. I know I wouldn't want to change my name, and I'm not sure how I would have felt about it if my wife had wanted to "keep her name" (a phrase I think sounds odd, although I admit that I don't have a better one – yet). I'm not a fan of the hyphen-name, mostly because usually it's only the mother who uses it; the husband and children use the man's name. If everyone in the family went hyphen, I think that would be different. One consideration that rarely gets discussed is what a woman has to do in order to change her name; if my wife's experience is any guide, it can be a lot of work.

So guys, if your wife-to-be doesn't want to "take your name" when she takes your hand in marriage, try this:

"Grrr! Ugg want you change name! Make Ugg feel manly! Now get Ugg dinner!"

Yeah, that'll work.

image: Daily News

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RetroFitted: Can Space Invaders Stage a Comeback?

2008-07-03T14:34:00Z

Before there was Super Mario or The Sims -- hell, before there was even Pac-Man -- there was Space Invaders, the 1978 video game that gave us all the ability to shoot freaky buggers from outer space while sitting in the comfort of our own living rooms. It was so popular, even the British fell in love with it (by the way, I love that Super Breakout is characterized as "educational" in this commercial):

Like all wonderful things from the '70s and '80s, Space Invaders is getting revamped for this millennium. Specifically, the game was re-released last month as Space Invaders Extreme. "Extreme" -- that makes it sound so daring, so high-octane, so Vans Warped Tour, doesn't it?

Turns out all that means is that the basic Invaders concept has gotten a little flashier: cooler lasers, room for multiple players, etc. So far, several reviewers -- including Clive Thompson at Wired -- have lavished high praise on the new version, which is available on the Nintendo DS and PSP. (Why not for the Wii? Why????)

The reason for the accolades: Space Invaders Extreme stays true to its original concept and doesn't try to get too elaborate. Here's my feeling about video games: For the most part, I should be able to understand the premise in a sentence. Pac-Man: You eat pellets and run away from monsters. Cool. Space Invaders: You shoot at aliens, who keep coming at you faster and faster, so you keep shooting. Excellent. I get that. It's games that go like this -- "Well, first you have to capture the golden orb, which gives you extra lifelines, at which point you advance to Level Supremus, then you try to capture the super-secret sword" -- that lose me. I don't have time for that. Just let me take 10 minutes after dinnertime and before bed to shoot a few extra-terrestrials and then I'll take the check, thanks.

Long story short, Space Invaders worked in 1978 because its premise was fun, compelling and classic. It will work in 2008 for those same reasons. Now, for the love of God, just make it for the Wii.

RetroFitted appears every Thursday on Strollerderby.

What Pregnancy Looks Like

2008-07-03T14:01:00Z

We see pictures of pregnant women all the time -- mainly celebrities, often airbrushed, only in the best couture.

But normal is always more interesting than perfect. Which is why it's fun looking at Slate's great slideshow featuring pregnant women around the world in the past 60 years.

This also reminds me that there are, like, zero pictures of my mom when she was pregnant with me or my sister. Well, maybe her face, but her body is hidden. Looking at the shots from the 60s and 70s in this slideshow gives me an idea of what she may have looked like, what with the serious weight-gain restrictions and the maternity muumuus. Maybe.

Photo: Slate