Oy vey, Miley showed her tuchas again

Brett Singer — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:00:00 GMT

I think we may be over-reacting just a tad to, like, everything Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus does. (I know I've said it before, but this girl really does have more names than a Chekhov character.)

Now, I understood, a little bit, when people got upset about the Vanity Fair photo shoot. It seemed a little bit odd to be taking pictures of a 15 year old wearing nothing but a bed sheet. But sexualizing underage girls isn't a new thing for the entertainment business – Mandy Moore was 15 when she made "Candy" (here's the video), and Britney Spears was 17 when "…Baby One More Time" came out, with her wearing a skimpy schoolgirl outfit and writhing on the floor. Going further back, Brooke Shields was 14 in 1980 when she told the world that nothing came between her and her Calvins.

All of these examples, in my opinion, were sketchier than what's happening with Miley Ray Whatever. In theory, these were private photos that ended up in the public eye either by her own carelessness, a hacker, or, if you want to go with a total conspiracy theory, someone at Disney who sneaks them to the press. The latter seems insane, but who knows. No matter what the real story is (Miley's not returning my calls, so I don't know the truth) the photos themselves aren't that bad.

Now – they are photos of an underage girl in a state of semi-undress. Which makes them extremely creepy. So, somewhat like the "should Paps take snaps of Brit's kids in her own house?" question, what do you think about the never-ending stream of Miley photos? Do they mean she's "slutty" and a bad influence on America's impressionable young girls? Or is it, like, enough already, and should we listen to Dolly Parton and leave Miley alone?

image/source: GossipGirls

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Lourdes and Miley kidnapped?

Brett Singer — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Have America's sweethearts been kidnapped? No, silly! Do you really think something like that would happen and you wouldn't hear about it? Here's the truth about these photos:

First, Lourdes Ciccone, daughter of Madonna. Who is that unmasked man holding her hand? Well, that's her dad. Not Guy Ritchie, but her biological dad, Carlos Leon. Carlos was once arrested for smoking pot in Washington Square Park, but as far as we know, he doesn't do that too often. They probably just saw The Rod (note: that's my new name for Alex Rodriguez; he's not just A rod -- he's THE Rod) across the street and wanted to get away before he started talking to them.

As for Miley/Hannah/Whatever (the girl has more names than a Chekhov character), she's just filming a new movie, which I won't see but will likely gross hundreds of millions of dollars. She doesn't look too happy but I'm guessing it was just a bad moment. Either that or The Rod was visiting the set that day.

images: NY Post, Now Magazine

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