Strollerderby : Al Franken

Morning News - Specter Switches Sides

Brett Singer — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:00:00 GMT

The big news yesterday was Arlen Specter making the switch from Republican to Democrat. The reason is partially about his Senate voting and political views, which often go against the Republican party line. Mostly, though, it's about the fact that he faces a tough Republican Primary fight because of that voting record, especially his recent support of President Obama's stimulus package. (Anyone else think that tbe phrase "stimulus package" sounds a little naughty? Like, if Jenna Jameson were to say it? Nevermind.) Democrats have pledged to support Specter as he runs for re-election, and the President will even fundraise with him if necessary. To me, this illustrates the problem with political parties. Why do we have them? I'm sure there's a reason, but I don't know what it is. Ross Perot may have been nuts, but a third party would be a good thing, wouldn't it? Anyway, with Specter's switch, this means that when/if Al Franken takes office, the Democrats would have 60 votes in the Senate, which is enough for a "filibuster-resistant majority" if they vote along party lines. Which brings me back to my point about parties being a bad thing. Even if you agree with the way things go on a party-line vote, it seems like the wrong way to go about doing things.

As for Al Franken, he's good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, the people of Minnesota voted for him. But Norm Coleman is still contesting the election. The case will be heard on June 1.

With swine flu running rampant, pig farmers are getting pinched. And by that I mean fewer people are buying pork. This in spite of the fact that, according to MSNBC, "the strain may not come entirely from pigs and cannot be spread by eating pork." Some piggy people want a new name for the disease other than "swine flu." Yeah. That'll happen. How about "the other influenza?" Nah, that sounds as dumb as "the other white meat" did.

Some good news and some bad news about the kiddie porn industry. A British watchdog group says that there are 10 percent fewer sites than before, but the images are "more violent." So... I don't know. I guess 10 percent fewer sites is nice.

OMG! American Idol! It's down to the final five! I, like, totally think Adam should win, don't you? OMG, yes!!! OK, that'll be enough of that.

Katherine Sebelius was confirmed as the head of the Department of Health and Human Services, despite Republicans who objected to the fact that a doctor who performed abortions had contributed to her campaign. See, I thought abortion was legal in this country. Lucky for her, there's not a major health crisis in this country. Oh wait! Swine flu. My bad. Have fun, Kath!

Let's end with a weird one: a Serbian union official "chopped off his finger and ate it in a protest over wages that in some cases have not been paid in years." Zoran Bulatovic said that "he did it to show how desperate he and other workers were." Dude. That is both impressive and really, really disgusting.

Image: MSNBC

Morning News: Susan Boyle's Dream Just Might Come True

Swine Flu - Are You Worried About Your Kids?

Babble Podcast for January 12, 2009

Brett Singer — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 03:24:00 GMT

Here is the eighth Babble Podcast.

You can either listen right here

or download the MP3 file by clicking here.

On today's episode:

1. Quick news update:
- Barack Obama is a celebrity? How about Bristol Palin?
- Al Franken won – maybe.
- The Jets didn’t make the playoffs, which is worse than the Giants losing to the Eagles. Not much worse. But worse.
2. The Week in Blog
- A six-year-old driving to school alone, extra nipples, and Jett Travolta.
3. Comment of the Week
- Nobody ever claps for parents. Today, we fix that.
4. The Last Word
- The Wii Fit lets me work out in my living room, away from the freaks at the gym.

Notes on this podcast:

Songs parodied:
- The Knack, My Sharona

Songs mangled:
- Led Zeppelin, Immigrant Song

Posts mentioned:

Parents Wait a Decade to Report Missing Child

Six-Year-Old Drives Himself to School After Missing Bus

Mom-to-Be Has Two Vaginas, Two Uteruses

Tripp Palin's Name Explained

Extra Nipples, Anyone?

Yup, This is a Fairy Door

Sasha Obama Brought Something Ugly To School

Update: John Travolta Son's Death Details & Statements

John Travolta's Son Dies

Funeral For Jett Travolta In Ocala

Stuff You Never Thought You'd Say -- Winter Edition

UPDATE: Kid Kissing A Pig - The Musical

Should Homeschooling Parents Be Certified?

Mom Saves Kids From Sinking SUV

More News About Missing Child Adam Herrman

Past Podcasts:

Babble Podcast for December 15, 2008

Babble Podcast for December 8, 2008

Babble Podcast for November 24, 2008

Babble Podcast for November 17, 2008

Breaking News: Senator Franken Certified

Shannon LC Cate — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:45:00 GMT

The MInnesota Canvassing Board has certified the results of the 2008 senatorial race. That is, they have certified that AlFranken got the most votes. The incumbant senator, Norm Coleman has seven days to file a lawsuit challenging Franken's win. He plans to do so. Until the issue is resolved, a winner will not be certified and until a winner is certified, he can't be seated in the Senate. Sorry Minnesota, I guess the fat lady is still warming up!

Morning News: One, Two, No New Democrats in the Senate?

Shannon LC Cate — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 14:34:00 GMT

Sullied governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich stunned everyone yet again with his bleeping hubris when he appointed former state office holder, 71-year old Roland Burris to the U.S. Senate, to replace President-Elect, Barack Obama. Illinois's Senior senator, Dick Durbin suggested that in spite of Burris's fine record of public service and seeming lack of any connection to Blagojevich's ever-deepening scandal, the Senate has said it won't seat a Blagojevich appointment and it means to stand by that promise. Whether or not this is constitutional remains to be seen, as such a thing (refusal to seat a clean, qualified appointment by a sitting governor) has never happened in the history of the U.S. Senate as far as anyone who knows these sorts of things knows.

Al Franken is ahead by 50 votes in Minnesota sentate race with 1347 mistakenly uncounted absentee ballots to go. Most think they will increase Franken's lead and that he will win. But his opponent, incumbent Senator Norm Coleman says he will take Franken to court if that happens.

Here's something we'll miss about 2008. 2009 promises no more Viagra pens. That's right, folks, the ubiquitous trademarked prescription pad, pen, wall calendar, paper cup, tongue depressor, bandage, you-name-it, will go the way of the buffalo after January first, when a voluntary code drawn up by Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America bans such gifts from drug representatives to doctors. Though the industry says the new code is not an admission of swaying doctor's prescribing choices, critics disagree and cry foul, pointing out that the code does not ban things like free meals. But that seems fair enough to us, since now, doctors will not have any pens with which to sign the checks at restaurants.

Meanwhile, vitamin supplements take a hit in a new study that shows anti-oxidant supplements don't have the same anti-cancer protective effects as a healthy diet of anti-oxidant-rich fruits and vegetables. The bad news? Such pills have absolutely no anti-cancer effect at all but may in fact cause some health problems taken in high doses. The good news? You can cross "vitamin C, E and beta-carotein" off your shopping list and save $30 a month--which you can spend on enough organic produce to fill your shopping cart. Just don't ask us how to get that produce into junior's tummy.

Finally, here's a public service announcement to assist you in your New Year's Eve event scheduling. To keep Greenwich Mean Time as accurate as possible, a "leap second" will be added to the day today, making 31 December 2008 24 hours and one second long. Atomic time advocates say this extra second is messy and inaccurate, whereas atomic time is perfect. GMT advocates say keeping natural associations between human life and the clock is more important than accuracy. The extra second added every so often keeps noon at, well, noon--the time of day when the sun is highest in the sky--according to them. If we switched to atomic time, apparently noon would happen around 1 pm in a few generations, creating pandemonium, no doubt. Whatever side of the debate you fall on (we're certain you're "leaping" to take sides) enjoy your extra second standing in the cold in Times Square, folks.

Morning News: Hillary Clinton Ready to Wield Power; "Caribou Barbie" One of 2008's Top "Buzzwords"

Shannon LC Cate — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton is already vying for more power, before even starting her job as the new Secretary of State, the New York Times reports:

"The steps seem intended to strengthen the role of diplomacy after a long stretch, particularly under Secretary of State Colin L. Powell, in which the Pentagon, the vice president’s office and even the intelligence agencies held considerable sway over American foreign policy."

Areas of expanded power for the State Department may well include economic policy in times of global crisis (ie: nowish).

As the economy tanks, shoplifting is on the rise according to another report in the Times:

"...retail security experts say the problem has grown worse this holiday season. Shoplifters are taking everything from compact discs and baby formula to gift cards and designer clothing..."

Wait a minute there! As Bob from Sesame Street might ask, which one of those things is not like the others? Sorry but cds, gift cards and designer clothes strike me as your run-of-the-mill teen rebel victims, but baby formula? If we can't feed babies we have a problem, folks. I say, let them have the formula.

It's beginning to look a lot like... Senator Al Franken will be a buzzword of 2009. What? You didn't know they were still counting votes in Minnesota? They are and currently, Franken is ahead by a whopping 48. It only takes one, right?

I gave you Caribou Barbie in the headline, here are the rest of the words-of-the-year.

And finally, I just have to ask, is it me, or is this woman really annoying? I mean, I know Madoff is a crook and all, but honey, it won't hurt you to learn to ride the subway or read a Domino's ad correctly like the rest of us mortals.

Morning News: How Many Clintons Does It Take to ...

Madeline Holler — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

It's up to New York Gov. David Paterson to decide who will fill Hillary Clinton's senate seat, assuming (as we safely can) that she'll be secretary of state in a matter of weeks. Paterson's options are many, Andrew Cuomo is the favorite of voters, but there's one long-shot who just screams disaster/drama/ain't that America good times!

Bill Clinton! Of course, he claims to have no interest in accepting the appointment whatsoever, but come on. It's fun to think about.

Definitely not filling an open seat in the Senate is Georgia Democrat Jim Martin. He lost a run-off election last night to the marvelously named Saxby Chambliss, a Republican who is now and forever indebted to Sarah Palin. She stumped for the guy non-stop. The Chambliss win means no filibuster-proof Senate for Democrats.

Republican Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski has basically told Sarah Palin to "back off, that's my corner." The two are up for re-election in 2010, and some think Palin might enjoy her own two years in the Senate before making a bid for the White House. We've seen that can be done!

Minnesota senator hopeful Al Franken continues pushing that boulder uphill in his effort to get every vote counted. It's paying off, bit by bit: he picked up 31 new votes yesterday.

At a meeting of U.S. governors yesterday, Barack Obama got to meet Lousiana Gov. Bobby "GOP's Obama" Jindal and trot out the VP-elect Joe Biden (who promptly went off script when talking to Sarah Palin). Obama promised immediate help for the 41 states who are facing budget shortfalls for next year. (Can anybody name the nine solvent states?)

After 30 years in exile, Academy Award-winning director Roman Polanski has made a formal request have the child molestation case against him dismissed. Polanski was convicted in 1977 of unlawful intercourse with a 13-year-old girl.

Bush's last-minute planned "new right of conscience" rule will not only let medical professionals opt out of all things abortion, but may also mean anybody in the medical care food chain can refuse to participate in such banalities as birth control or advancements like fertility treatments. Wait, when is this guy getting the hell out of our lives?

Want to help your as-yet unborn daughters to avoid or survive breast cancer? Eat eggs -- lots of them -- while you're pregnant. Hey, it worked on rats!

Bush Acknowledges Crappy Presidency ... Yet Leaving With Head Held High

'The Monster' to Head State Department

Babble Podcast for November 24, 2008

Palin Turkey Slaughter Not a Hallmark Moment

Photo:

$7M Book Deal: More Rope for Sarah Palin to Hang Herself With?

JeanneSager — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:33:00 GMT

"You've got to hear this," a fellow Obamaniac insisted. A waitress at the diner where she'd been eating her breakfast had just spent a good portion of her service trying to convince her that Sarah Palin is highly intelligent - she only acted dumb because the Republican National Committee order her to "play the dumb broad to get men to vote for her."

My thanks go to that waitress. I have yet another reason to get down and kiss the pro-America ground I walk on because Sarah Palin won't be in charge of it. It's why I'm almost excited to read the results of a reported $7 million book deal expected for the former vice presidential candidate.

It's like my own daily affirmation a la Democratic Senate Candidate (and holding) Al Franken's alter ego Stuart Smalley. I'm good enough. I'm smart enough, and doggone it, she's not my vice president. Because, frankly (no pun intended), the idea of any woman throwing her support behind "a smart woman who's consented to dumb herself down" to win the approval of the guys who prefer the size of her rack to the size of her brain means women need a serious self esteem boost. It forces me to wonder how many women don't yet think they're good enough or smart enough to share their honest opinions with the world.

Want to feel better about yourself, smarter than someone else? Pick up a book that tells the tales of a woman who thumbs her nose at science and can't even read words strung together on a Starbucks cupholder that rests in her hand.You'll feel better in no time.

Image: Fox News

Kids Yell Assassinate Obama on Idaho School Bus

A Taste of Sasha and Malia's White House Rules: But Can They Paint it Pink?

From 52 to 48 With Love: When Families are Split Down Political Lines

Woman in Labor Holds Off Delivery Until After Voting for Obama

Trick or Treating With the Obamas: Scary or Too Cute?

Ad Against Al Franken is Comic Book About Rape, Porn

JeanneSager — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:51:00 GMT

Hey kids, want to read about rape and porn? Thanks to Minnesota Republicans (via Gawker), now your kids can check out cartoony pictures of a little girl and her puppy alongside slams against former SNL star Al Franken.

It’s not hard to see how kids would pick up the mailer, sent out to on behalf of Norm Coleman, Franken’s opponent in the Minnesota Senate race. The drawings are all in cartoon form, with a rendering of a little girl with pigtails and a doggy’s face . . . right next to a “warning” that Franken “has written so-called comedy routines about raping women.”

The opening page of the leaflet shows a charicature of Franken poking his head out from behind a door. The inscription on the door reads, “Come on in kids . . . Senator Franken’s going to tell a few jokes.”

We get it, he’s supposed to be a pedophile inviting kids over for a little inappropriate content a la late night TV comedy.
Except the comic book-like brochure, with the words “come on in kids,” was distributed by the National Republican Senatorial Committee. They’re throwing words like “raping” and “pornographic” around like fearmongering is going out of style.

So the kid who just learned to sort the mail and grabs the magazine that came just for them can get a taste of comedy Republican-style. And the horrified parent who hears them sounding out, “por, por, porna, porna . . . pornographic,” can vote Democrat this year.

Images: Gawker